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PPPPW interviews Tony Kendall
Last week we at Professional Pensioner Poker Player Weekly visited Burgundy Fields to celebrate 100 years of tikay poker. After being inundated with complaints, we decided to re-visit and see if he had mellowed any.
All seems a bit surreal on our return, the burgundy wall-paper has been replaced by hallucigenic patterns and we see Tikay playing a game of poker with some of the other patients and staff.
PPPPW: Hi Tony, thanks for inviting us back.
TK: No problem, I love all you guys. gimme a hug
PPPPW: errr ok, now Tony, we believe congratualions are due yet again in the recent TKO. Velocity wasn't it?? how did you manage that??
TK: well after our poor showing on round 1, we decided to steal another 100 members of team orford.
PPPPW: That simple??
TK: no no these were the brightest members of his team, we put them straight to work in our science laboratory. They made this wonderful powder to put in our cocoa, said it would help with the "speedier" aspects of the game.
PPPPW: Is that legal??
TK: of course man, chill out, our whizz is the biz innit
PPPPW: Bit warm in here Tony, any chance of a drink??
TK: sure thing man, heavy??
PPPPW: err no thanks, I'll have a Jagerbomb
TK: Nurse a Jagerbomb and a bitter lemon please
Nurse: No bitter lemon left tikay
TK: oh well i'll just have a webby......not quite as fruity but slightly more bitter, with a bit of melon
PPPPW; Thanks Tony, now, how about next weeks Bounty Hunter?
TK: Yes looking forward to that....i prefer the red one, sort of burgundy colour, that nurse hides them in some lovely places.
PPPPW: No Tony, Bounty Hunter..poker???
TK: ahhhh HMS Bounty..........i remeber sailing on that.now who was my good friend on board??
PPPPW: Fletcher Christain??
TK: FLETCH!!!!!
At this point, somewhat bizarely, another nurse runs off and returns with a stick????? Things are certainly different from last visit. Our drinks arrive.
TK: yuk, oi nurse you twisted my melon
PPPPW: Back to bounty hunter, tikay,
TK: Gimme a hug
At this point in the interview, we at PPPPW worry about our sanity. The game is progressing well and we see tikay raising pre-flop. The board comes A-J-10 all diamonds. Tikay fires in a big bet and the nurse that retrieved the stick re-raises all-in. Tony shows me his AA and folds
PPPPW: How can you fold there tony??
TK: Easy, everyone knows wen Lisa from Sky has Diamonds
PPPPW: errr ok if you say so, hows life treating you here at Burgundy Fields??
TK: I love it man, its wicked. I wanna stay at Burgundy Fields Forever.
At which point, we make a hasty exit
PPPPW takes no responsibility for this article
All seems a bit surreal on our return, the burgundy wall-paper has been replaced by hallucigenic patterns and we see Tikay playing a game of poker with some of the other patients and staff.
PPPPW: Hi Tony, thanks for inviting us back.
TK: No problem, I love all you guys. gimme a hug
PPPPW: errr ok, now Tony, we believe congratualions are due yet again in the recent TKO. Velocity wasn't it?? how did you manage that??
TK: well after our poor showing on round 1, we decided to steal another 100 members of team orford.
PPPPW: That simple??
TK: no no these were the brightest members of his team, we put them straight to work in our science laboratory. They made this wonderful powder to put in our cocoa, said it would help with the "speedier" aspects of the game.
PPPPW: Is that legal??
TK: of course man, chill out, our whizz is the biz innit
PPPPW: Bit warm in here Tony, any chance of a drink??
TK: sure thing man, heavy??
PPPPW: err no thanks, I'll have a Jagerbomb
TK: Nurse a Jagerbomb and a bitter lemon please
Nurse: No bitter lemon left tikay
TK: oh well i'll just have a webby......not quite as fruity but slightly more bitter, with a bit of melon
PPPPW; Thanks Tony, now, how about next weeks Bounty Hunter?
TK: Yes looking forward to that....i prefer the red one, sort of burgundy colour, that nurse hides them in some lovely places.
PPPPW: No Tony, Bounty Hunter..poker???
TK: ahhhh HMS Bounty..........i remeber sailing on that.now who was my good friend on board??
PPPPW: Fletcher Christain??
TK: FLETCH!!!!!
At this point, somewhat bizarely, another nurse runs off and returns with a stick????? Things are certainly different from last visit. Our drinks arrive.
TK: yuk, oi nurse you twisted my melon
PPPPW: Back to bounty hunter, tikay,
TK: Gimme a hug
At this point in the interview, we at PPPPW worry about our sanity. The game is progressing well and we see tikay raising pre-flop. The board comes A-J-10 all diamonds. Tikay fires in a big bet and the nurse that retrieved the stick re-raises all-in. Tony shows me his AA and folds
PPPPW: How can you fold there tony??
TK: Easy, everyone knows wen Lisa from Sky has Diamonds
PPPPW: errr ok if you say so, hows life treating you here at Burgundy Fields??
TK: I love it man, its wicked. I wanna stay at Burgundy Fields Forever.
At which point, we make a hasty exit
PPPPW takes no responsibility for this article
Comments
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
think i've maybe had 1 too many visits to Burgundy Fields!!!!!!!!
not looking forward to next weeks interview!!!
P.S Love it!
GREAT MR JAEGER......as ever......brilliant post!!.....
Team Tikay maybe be creative in their score keeping but we have the creative writers (with the exception of the blogtastic Lisa-Marie).
...and funny....very funny
x
If I wasn't as straight as a Roman road, I'd say "I luv you man".