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Congratulations! You're probably a fish.

edited June 2013 in Poker Chat
damn, thourght I wasnt a fish until I saw the last one. :(


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Comments

  • edited June 2013
    51 reasons why I love it when you sit at my table. Enjoy.

    1)      You can only play between 1-4 tables (and you think 8tabling is CRAZY!!!)

    2)      You prefer 9 or 10 handed/Full Ring, to 6max

    3)      You still use terms such as LAG

    4)      You’ve open-limped in the last week or so

    5)      You open to anything more than a 3x raise

    6)      You still use the term ‘Smooth Call’

    7)      You’re over 30

    8)      You predominantly play Live

    9)      You don’t know what a ‘merge’ is

    10)   You think suited connectors are great to play multiway

    11)   You think betting/raising with a draw is “building a pot for when you hit”

    12)   You think ‘balancing your range’ is something from the circus

    13)   You don’t know what a cold 3bet is

    14)   You still don’t know how to chip shuffle

    15)   You think someone drawing to a flush/straight is a ‘chaser’

    16)   You have a ‘lucky hand’, or your favourite hand is anything other than Aces

    17)   You think good tournament results make you a good player

    18)   You still use the term ‘suckout’ and ‘badbeat’

    19)   You think Doyle is still a great player

    20)   You’ve never played anything other than NLHE, PLO, or LHE

    21)   You think there’s such a thing as ‘momentum’ in cash games/tourneys

    22)   You think people who 3bet you twice in an orbit are ‘getting out of line’ or ‘playing back at you’

    23)   You think Jacks are hard to play

    24)   You think a check-raise or bet+raise postflop is a 3bet

    25)   You think AK on KK2 is ‘flopping a set’

    26)   You think betting to see where you are in a hand, or making information raises/calls, is legitimately solid poker

    27)   You tip the dealer when you win

    28)   You tip the dealer when you lose

    29)   You berate anyone for not tipping the dealers

    30)  You think 2c7d is Two-Seven not-suited

    31)   You use AKss as an abbreviation for single-suited, instead of just saying AKo

    32)   You loosen up considerably when a straddle is introduced

    33)   You think QQ v AK is a flip

    34)   You don’t know what a squeeze is

    35)   You open less than 50% of your buttons

    36)   You think opening QJs under the gun in a 6max game is loose

    37)   You think Jc5d2s is a bad flop for KcQc

    38)   You think Ian Frazer and Neil Channing are some of the UKs top pros

    39)   You justify any call pre with “I like to see flops”

    40)   You don’t like getting involved early in tourneys

    41)   You don’t think there’s much value in stealing blinds in cash games

    42)   You play DYMs on Sky (where the rake is just insanely high)

    43)   You can justify any call with “I feel it coming”

    44)   You still use the term “runner-runner”

    45)   You think peeling AJo on 227 is a float

    46)   You don’t use mini-view

    47)   You justify flatting 3bets with “Well, we’re in position”

    48)   You’ve fallen for the triple check-raise

    49)   You much prefer checking back and taking a ‘free card’, instead of barrelling equity

    50)   You use the term ‘free card’, and you don’t know what ‘barrelling equity’ means

    51)   Your name isn’t ‘Smitalos’

  • edited June 2013
    You reraise rather than 3bet pre!
  • edited June 2013
    You just want to make me cry!
    14
  • edited June 2013
    GELDY the fish says:
    Don't know why you have become more active on the forum recently
    but long may it continue
  • edited June 2013
    Your point kid
  • edited June 2013
    )   nice post the izledurr of sky poker 

    )   

    )  
  • edited June 2013
    I'm obv a fish.... how can a 3bet ever not be cold? Well, unless it's a limp/3bet I guess.

    Other than that, I'm actually pretty safe from your wrath above.

    P.S. Hate when people call a postflop raise (or cr) a 3bet

  • edited June 2013
    Oh Gawd. Its now official, I am that fish. Always suspected it but now I know. Sigh....
  • edited June 2013
    I was treading water once i saw the 7th one down :(

    Another class post though mate keep em coming
  • edited June 2013
    You've probably also lost £1500 on pokerstars, Sharkscopes great ins't it lol
  • edited June 2013
    I am a big wet slippery fish.

    In addition to the above, I'm one of those who thinks pocket knaves are awkward to play... ;-)



  • edited June 2013
  • edited June 2013
    Sigh, it's a bit of fun.

    You don't really think Smitty knows what a merges is, do you? ;)
  • edited June 2013
    What about using HOT-O-METER?
  • edited June 2013
    Sigh...18...glad i don't play cash then.
    Here's one fish who's cash i won't be leaking through my gills to you S....
  • edited June 2013
    Why one short of a deck?
  • edited June 2013
    Oh yeah Smitty,

    You missed out anyone that

    1) Plays with a 2 colour deck
    2) Still has winner animation on
  • edited June 2013
    Its a leak to use miniview.
  • edited June 2013
    Does Tikay meet every single one of those criteria?
  • edited June 2013
    In Response to Re: Congratulations! You're probably a fish.:
    Does Tikay meet every single one of those criteria?
    Posted by FCHD
    Yup, I got the lot, Full House.

    Official Fish.

    I will add it to my other nicks such as "lolPro". 

    Truly honoured. ;)

     
  • edited June 2013
    Blimey, I'd already been a fish for 11 years before I played my first ever hand of poker. Phil Ivey has been a fish for the last 7 years too :)
  • edited June 2013
    I am not a number, i am a free fish..
  • edited June 2013
    [x] I'm a fish
    [x] I beat Smitalos in Lambert's HU Comp
    [x] First time I've used these kewl brackets
    [  ] The word, kewl, is cool.

    :D
  • edited June 2013
    In Response to Re: Congratulations! You're probably a fish.:
    You reraise rather than 3bet pre!
    Posted by percival09
    Congratulations!
    You've been promoted to 'Super-Fish', for even thinking I have to mention the really obvious ones.

    It's past your bed-time already. Arn't you like, what... 4yo?
    #percival09 #soulreadingfordayz #exceptionalreadfromSmitalos #rookieerrorfromthesuperfish #hashtags
    I'm obv a fish.... how can a 3bet ever not be cold? Well, unless it's a limp/3bet I guess.
    Posted by Lambert180
    Congratulations!
    You've been demoted to 'Plankton', for being the only one so far that realised Lucky#13 (the cold3bet) was absolute BS and doesn't exist. (as all 3bets are technically cold3bets (unless we're playing in a game that only has antes, in which case the first re-raise is a 2bet, and so forth. But now I'm just being a nitpicky-twat.))
    You've probably also lost £1500 on pokerstars, Sharkscopes great ins't it lol
    Posted by OHIMGOOD
    HU4ROLLZ, m8?
    #winningestSkyPokerplayerof2013
    Ego much
    Posted by calcalfold
    Congratulations!
    You just missed the entire point of this thread!
    Also, see above post for a definition of true ego.

    Side-Note: Huge Fail on my part not to include the HOT-O-METER. I join you all in the ranks of fish.
    RE: 4 colour decks, was so close to putting this one in, thought too many people use dual-colour deckaments. Casinos included, the derps. :(
    ty to all the love itt from everyone else, you know who y'are, and it's never not appreciated. Cheers guys <3 Expect Part2 soon, waheyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!
  • edited June 2013
    loooooooooooooool
  • edited June 2013

    Guy reminds me of mclovin or will from inbetweeners, annoying as ...

  • edited June 2013
    oh well I might as well scrap all my flush draws if I want to avoid being a fish because all that my table have is villain who just bet 4p.
  • edited June 2013


    Well you are £1500 in poo on pokerstars aren't you? It won't be long before your Skypoker account goes the same way little boy.
  • edited June 2013
    I counted 57 I'm guilty of.  How does that happen?

    Also the fish is a much maligned creature.  They can go to places on this Earth which human beings cannot get near.  I world wide flood is a cataclysm to us, for them it's a loft conversion.  They never have to watch an Adam Sandler film because their girlfriend thought he was good in 50 First Dates.

    In many ways I'm glad to be a fish.

    Well only one way to end this post.  Pull a funny face and say PPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEE!!!!!
  • edited June 2013
    In Response to Re: Congratulations! You're probably a fish.:
    [x] I'm a fish [x] I beat Smitalos in Lambert's HU Comp [x] First time I've used these kewl brackets [  ] The word, kewl, is cool. :D
    Posted by splashies
    :D
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