I doubt you noticed I was gone but I'm back. Ettiqette of cash games explained please anyone?

unknown_username

Hi all,

My name is Mogweedy.

You may or may not have played against me some months ago and (chances are) won plenty of chips off me (I'm not the greatest) but I've been off for a long while after getting very upset. Only now I'm back with a new avatar (male this time in case having a female one confused anyone previosly as to the fact that I'm a guy) and wanting to, as my partner is (The wonderful and magnificent, now regular poster on here ThePudding) get involved in the community. 

I met so many nice people on here before I left.

Now the thing is I was playing a cash game and having a lovely time chatting to people who came and went when someone joined the table who I struck up a conversation with and he was an instant delight. Very soon on we were in a situation where at the end of a hand he said "I could have raised you but I didn't" y'know being nice, which I thought was lovely and I thanked him. So on we played until out of the blue a message pops up saying "what are you doing ? I was nice to you and you keep raising me" I was mortified. I felt terrible. I should probably explain at this point that I have quite severe mental illness. It's a nasty little fella called Borderline personality disorder and for good measure Post traumatic stress disorder. I am a nice person and can't bear the thought of offending anyone or upsetting anyone. When Pudding stubs her toe - I say sorry. Crazy right ? So anyhow, I was mortified that I had upset this lovely man. Here you may think me to over-react hugely but I naturally apologized profusely (have I spelt that right ?) to which he didn't respond, that killed me. I felt so uncomfortable sitting at that table and also couldn't possibly play my game, y'know, I can't ever raise again now can I ? So I apologized one final time and said I was leaving because I felt bad and subsequently left. He then finally responded with "No probs".

I sat and watched the table for a few moments afterwards feeling like a heel and saw he and another player then go on to say my behaviour was strange and weird and suggest I had issues which I found hurtful although how right they are, how right they are !!!

So on to my question to the community whom I would dearly love to be-friend if you'll have me.

What is the acceptable behaviour here ?

I mean as of now I'm just going to play tournaments because I understand that there were trying to win and raising is acceptable, trying to win is okay.

But what about the micro stakes cash games (which are all I can afford) ?

Can anyone out there help me ?

I dare not offend anyone else, I would hate that so, so much. But at the same time it would be nice to try and win a few quid if I can surely ?

If someone has read all my nonsense then I am most grateful, thank you for sticking with me and if you can respond then I'm really grateful.

Best wishes on your next game and may the river be with you !!!!!

Mog x

jimb0d1

Keep raising, if they dont like it....raise them more often! 

shakinaces

Welcome to the forums Mog.

There will always be whiners and moaners at the poker tables, so don't let it get to you on a personal level. Those sort of people will make exactly the same comments about most, if not all, other players at some point!

And yeah, keep raising. Raising is good!

Run well.

grantorino

Raising people is not bad etiquette

Softplaying ( ie where you check or call where you should clearly bet or raise) is bad etiquette. It's something you see more often at live games though

Have a friendly chat by all means if you like but play hard 

goldnballz

In Response to Re: I doubt you noticed I was gone but I'm back. Ettiqette of cash games explained please anyone?:

Raising people is not bad etiquette Softplaying ( ie where you check or call where you should clearly bet or raise) is bad etiquette. It's something you see more often at live games though Have a friendly chat by all means if you like but play hard 
Posted by grantorino

This.

Never ever feel bad for raising. Good luck at the tables.

unknown_username

The devil with a cash game, and especially a micro or low stake game, is that you are only playing for pennies. 

The point of any game is to be the winner hauling the best amount of cash or chips that you can by playing the cards you are dealt. This obviously includes blind stealing, shoving, bluffing and of course raising to name but a few. So, when in a situation where-by some one thinks they are doing you a favour, there is no winning. You are jammed in a damned if you do and damned if you don't position. 

If a player feels the need to tell you that they are being 'nice' they are instantly implying that they expect you do the same for them- cue loud buzzer noise ERRGGGGGHHHHH

You owe no favours to anyone, and ask none for yourself. The game is the game, and banter with friends occurs at the end of a hand - a simple gracious 'nh' or 'wp' is in order - not the mutterings of a donkey who feels hard done by. 

Win my love, raise them all - they have the choice to play well or not, it is not your responsibility to protect their interests or stack. 

With that said - don't you yourself become a donkey by kowtowing to pressure. Play your game, be confident in your actions and play to win, otherwise what is the point?

Pudd x 

Ps, love you xxxx  

unknown_username

In Response to I doubt you noticed I was gone but I'm back. Ettiqette of cash games explained please anyone?:

Hi all, My name is Mogweedy. You may or may not have played against me some months ago and (chances are) won plenty of chips off me (I'm not the greatest) but I've been off for a long while after getting very upset. Only now I'm back with a new avatar (male this time in case having a female one confused anyone previosly as to the fact that I'm a guy) and wanting to, as my partner is (The wonderful and magnificent, now regular poster on here ThePudding) get involved in the community.  I met so many nice people on here before I left. Now the thing is I was playing a cash game and having a lovely time chatting to people who came and went when someone joined the table who I struck up a conversation with and he was an instant delight. Very soon on we were in a situation where at the end of a hand he said "I could have raised you but I didn't" y'know being nice, which I thought was lovely and I thanked him. So on we played until out of the blue a message pops up saying "what are you doing ? I was nice to you and you keep raising me" I was mortified. I felt terrible. I should probably explain at this point that I have quite severe mental illness. It's a nasty little fella called Borderline personality disorder and for good measure Post traumatic stress disorder. I am a nice person and can't bear the thought of offending anyone or upsetting anyone. When Pudding stubs her toe - I say sorry. Crazy right ? So anyhow, I was mortified that I had upset this lovely man. Here you may think me to over-react hugely but I naturally apologized profusely (have I spelt that right ?) to which he didn't respond, that killed me. I felt so uncomfortable sitting at that table and also couldn't possibly play my game, y'know, I can't ever raise again now can I ? So I apologized one final time and said I was leaving because I felt bad and subsequently left. He then finally responded with "No probs". I sat and watched the table for a few moments afterwards feeling like a heel and saw he and another player then go on to say my behaviour was strange and weird and suggest I had issues which I found hurtful although how right they are, how right they are !!! So on to my question to the community whom I would dearly love to be-friend if you'll have me. What is the acceptable behaviour here ? I mean as of now I'm just going to play tournaments because I understand that there were trying to win and raising is acceptable, trying to win is okay. But what about the micro stakes cash games (which are all I can afford) ? Can anyone out there help me ? I dare not offend anyone else, I would hate that so, so much. But at the same time it would be nice to try and win a few quid if I can surely ? If someone has read all my nonsense then I am most grateful, thank you for sticking with me and if you can respond then I'm really grateful. Best wishes on your next game and may the river be with you !!!!! Mog x
Posted by Mogweedy

turn your chat facility off buddy.especially if your easily offended.you should not be made too feel bad for raising.its a simple human reaction.people just dont like losing money.period.

personally,i like getting a player angry,puts them on tilt...theres very few players on this site who would get nasty. its happened quite often on other sites though

FlyingDagg

In Response to I doubt you noticed I was gone but I'm back. Ettiqette of cash games explained please anyone?:

Hi all, My name is Mogweedy. You may or may not have played against me some months ago and (chances are) won plenty of chips off me (I'm not the greatest) but I've been off for a long while after getting very upset. Only now I'm back with a new avatar (male this time in case having a female one confused anyone previosly as to the fact that I'm a guy) and wanting to, as my partner is (The wonderful and magnificent, now regular poster on here ThePudding) get involved in the community.  I met so many nice people on here before I left. Now the thing is I was playing a cash game and having a lovely time chatting to people who came and went when someone joined the table who I struck up a conversation with and he was an instant delight. Very soon on we were in a situation where at the end of a hand he said "I could have raised you but I didn't" y'know being nice, which I thought was lovely and I thanked him. So on we played until out of the blue a message pops up saying "what are you doing ? I was nice to you and you keep raising me" I was mortified. I felt terrible. I should probably explain at this point that I have quite severe mental illness. It's a nasty little fella called Borderline personality disorder and for good measure Post traumatic stress disorder. I am a nice person and can't bear the thought of offending anyone or upsetting anyone. When Pudding stubs her toe - I say sorry. Crazy right ? So anyhow, I was mortified that I had upset this lovely man. Here you may think me to over-react hugely but I naturally apologized profusely (have I spelt that right ?) to which he didn't respond, that killed me. I felt so uncomfortable sitting at that table and also couldn't possibly play my game, y'know, I can't ever raise again now can I ? So I apologized one final time and said I was leaving because I felt bad and subsequently left. He then finally responded with "No probs". I sat and watched the table for a few moments afterwards feeling like a heel and saw he and another player then go on to say my behaviour was strange and weird and suggest I had issues which I found hurtful although how right they are, how right they are !!! So on to my question to the community whom I would dearly love to be-friend if you'll have me. What is the acceptable behaviour here ? I mean as of now I'm just going to play tournaments because I understand that there were trying to win and raising is acceptable, trying to win is okay. But what about the micro stakes cash games (which are all I can afford) ? Can anyone out there help me ? I dare not offend anyone else, I would hate that so, so much. But at the same time it would be nice to try and win a few quid if I can surely ? If someone has read all my nonsense then I am most grateful, thank you for sticking with me and if you can respond then I'm really grateful. Best wishes on your next game and may the river be with you !!!!! Mog x
Posted by Mogweedy

BIB:  This is a pet hate of mine strangely enough. I have been in hands where a friend or a team mate has been soft on me and said so in the chatbox. It makes me feel very uncomfortable as it can lead to accusations of possible collusion so I always tell them no favours please and it's unfair to other players.
.
 Make friends in the chatbox by all means but play the game as intended

tomgoodun

Hi mogweedy, welcome back. My advice is listen to your good lady,she has hit the nail on the head on many points. I understand where you are coming from on the not upsetting folk angle,that is one of the many reasons I myself will not join a team on here, I think poker is an individual game and would find it mentally tough to get aggro with a team mate,and that is a major part of winning at this game.yes it is good to have some friendly banter,but for me personally if someone said to me don't raise cos I haven't raised you I would smile and turn off the chat cos that leads to collusion which is not your intention.good luck at the tables and most important enjoy yourself.

TeddyBloat

innit sad that people feel the need to be a part of a collective 'norm'. anyone who lies outside percieved norms must 'have issues' or summat up with them. truth is we all have our quirks, failings and shortcomings  but we keep them well hidden [whilst decrying anyone  elsed who Lets Their Mask Slip]. No room for tolerance of individuality. That we can make casual sweeping statements such as 'the world's gone mad' kinda shows how prone we are to generalise, how desperate to fit in.

your concern for others lies outside that of the norms of the collective consiousness we share. how f-ckin sad is that, innit. bet most people either dont have that concern and see it as admirable - and so much easier to say YOU have the issue and not us plebs who lack what we see as good - or they do have that concern, yet deny it in order to fit in.

you're a good person and you know yourself well enough to not just recognise but acknowledge your so called short comings publically.  that in itself is unusual, but believe me in that respect its not YOU that has the problem.

Please ignore people who are so desperate to 'fit in' that they have to attack others. poker is a game and we all put up our money voluntarily, play how you want. aggressive is just a label for a style of play, it doesnt reflect on the personality / morality of a player.

dont turn off your chat if you enjoy talking to people,  just ignore [and i think you can block individuals chat] peeps who are weak enough to have to act strong in the chat box.

dragon1964

"what are you doing ? I was nice to you and you keep raising me"

The problem with the written word is that you cannot know how it was meant.

If you say the sentence in a menacing voice, it can be perceived completely different than if you say it jokingly.

Maybe he was genuinely upset that you raised him.

Or he could have been continuing with the banter you were enjoying.

Whichever, don't take it to heart, enjoy the game and play to win (including raising)

Good luck

MP33

I,ve got a mate who,s into gaming. Whenever i,m round there and see him playing he seems to spend half his time in the chat box berating people for their play and then getting frustrated when he gets killed.

Personally i think he,s got a problem with his temper and this isn,t even for money. Then i see the same sort of things on the chat box of poker sites even if its for pennies. These are the ppl with issues.

For newbie players it can be quite shocking with some of the stuff they come out with but after a while you just learn to let it go over your head. Personally i wouldn,t turn the chat box off as the vast majority off ppl on here you can have some friendly banter with and that is part of the fun.but when ppl go to far the best thing i find is to just not respond. They,ve obv. got issues and problems with their temperament  that they can,t control.

If the abuse does get to personal or out of line in any way just copy and paste it and send it to Sky in an email or on live chat - Takes two minutes and normally gets them chat banned

GL and enjoy

sikas

In Response to Re: I doubt you noticed I was gone but I'm back. Ettiqette of cash games explained please anyone?:

Raising people is not bad etiquette Softplaying ( ie where you check or call where you should clearly bet or raise) is bad etiquette. It's something you see more often at live games though Have a friendly chat by all means if you like but play hard 
Posted by grantorino

+1

robertod

i presume that if you were playing chess that this loser would ask you not to take his queen. or maybe youre playing snap far too quickly for him. crush this cretin...

DoyleBrun

In Response to I doubt you noticed I was gone but I'm back. Ettiqette of cash games explained please anyone?:It is a game where you are trying to take all thier chips/money the player with all the chips money wins. that is what you play for to win, yes its nice to have a chat and be pleasant but you are playing to beat the other player so keep playing to win.

Hi all, My name is Mogweedy. You may or may not have played against me some months ago and (chances are) won plenty of chips off me (I'm not the greatest) but I've been off for a long while after getting very upset. Only now I'm back with a new avatar (male this time in case having a female one confused anyone previosly as to the fact that I'm a guy) and wanting to, as my partner is (The wonderful and magnificent, now regular poster on here ThePudding) get involved in the community.  I met so many nice people on here before I left. Now the thing is I was playing a cash game and having a lovely time chatting to people who came and went when someone joined the table who I struck up a conversation with and he was an instant delight. Very soon on we were in a situation where at the end of a hand he said "I could have raised you but I didn't" y'know being nice, which I thought was lovely and I thanked him. So on we played until out of the blue a message pops up saying "what are you doing ? I was nice to you and you keep raising me" I was mortified. I felt terrible. I should probably explain at this point that I have quite severe mental illness. It's a nasty little fella called Borderline personality disorder and for good measure Post traumatic stress disorder. I am a nice person and can't bear the thought of offending anyone or upsetting anyone. When Pudding stubs her toe - I say sorry. Crazy right ? So anyhow, I was mortified that I had upset this lovely man. Here you may think me to over-react hugely but I naturally apologized profusely (have I spelt that right ?) to which he didn't respond, that killed me. I felt so uncomfortable sitting at that table and also couldn't possibly play my game, y'know, I can't ever raise again now can I ? So I apologized one final time and said I was leaving because I felt bad and subsequently left. He then finally responded with "No probs". I sat and watched the table for a few moments afterwards feeling like a heel and saw he and another player then go on to say my behaviour was strange and weird and suggest I had issues which I found hurtful although how right they are, how right they are !!! So on to my question to the community whom I would dearly love to be-friend if you'll have me. What is the acceptable behaviour here ? I mean as of now I'm just going to play tournaments because I understand that there were trying to win and raising is acceptable, trying to win is okay. But what about the micro stakes cash games (which are all I can afford) ? Can anyone out there help me ? I dare not offend anyone else, I would hate that so, so much. But at the same time it would be nice to try and win a few quid if I can surely ? If someone has read all my nonsense then I am most grateful, thank you for sticking with me and if you can respond then I'm really grateful. Best wishes on your next game and may the river be with you !!!!! Mog x
Posted by Mogweedy