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A Poker Players joke (light relief as requested)
I see that a few people are asking for some light relief on here in the forum. I will do my best to provide some, if people like this post i will try and write up a few more, it depends on the gigs i get as to how much time i have spare...
A professional poker player had a letter from the tax man asking him to come in to his office for a chat about his tax affairs.
He walks in to the tax office with his lawyer and sits down. The tax man says "now look here, on your tax returns you have claimed to be a professional gambler, you have a flash house, a lovely boat and lots of very expensive cars. I find this very difficult to believe!"
"its all true replies the gambler, I can prove it to you if you like. I bet you I can bite my eye, £10k says I can bite my eye"
The tax man looks at the lawyer and thinks its impossible and in front of a lawyer there's no way the gambler can wriggle out of it.
They shake hands and then the poker player winks at the tax man, pops his false eye out and bites it.
The tax man realises his hasty decision to bet with this player might not have been so clever, when the poker player pipes up again;-
"Don't worry, I don't want your money, double or quits, I bet you I can bite my other eye!"
The tax man perks up, "£20k you're on!" he says before he can help himself.
It's impossible or else he's blind he thought to himself.
The poker player smiles, pops his false teath out and bites his other eye.
The tax man is in a right fix now, £20k down and there's the lawyer there to verify the players claims. He starts to sweat a bit.
"Don't worry, I don't want your money, I'll tell you want, double or quits, last time, I bet you I can stand on your chair and wee in to your waste paper basket over there by the door"
The tax man looks at his chair and over his desk all the way to the door. His office is big, it is 20 feet easy.
"Sure thing, you're on" he says, certain that this time he will get his money back.
The poker player climbs on the the tax mans chair, unzips and takes aim. It goes all over the tax man's desk and nowhere near the bin.
"YES YES!!" shouts the tax man, "all over the desk, none in the bin, I win"
He looks over to the poker player who looks surprisingly happy to have just lost £20k.
Then he turns to the lawyer sitting by the window, who looks very unhappy.
"Whats up with you" smiles the tax man.
" When i picked him up this morning on the way here he bet me £100,000 that he could wee all over your desk and you would be happy about it!"
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