Poker --- Limericks

DTWBANDIT

   hi all

      we've all had good days & bad ones so i thought why not make a limerick out of it
      eg bad beat/rivered/on a winning streak however your days been post a limerick here

        i'll kick off with this

        Rich & Tikay were involved in a hand
        Rich noticed the flop a bit bland
        With some luck on the turn
        New that Tikay would burn
        And rivered him "oh what a man" 

       dtw

   

BlackFish3

sorry ive never had a good day or a bad day... they are all average to me.

TRIP5

I once shoved with my lovely aces
Chip daddy said lets go to the races
Flopped full house, gave a shiver
Was Royal flushed on the river
I did smash a couple of vases

x

TRIP5

One for LML:-

There was a young lady called Lisa
Who thought that no-one could beat her
Then along came Tikay
Who said call with A-J
She lost TKOII and ate lots of pizza

x

TRIP5

One for the Orf:-

A cheeky young master called Orford
Had delusions of granduer and being a Lord
His pride was whacked
And his persona was cracked
After checking live on tv if he was bald!

x

TRIP5

Couldn't leave out Uncle Teek:-

Some say Tikay is too old
Some say that he's real TV gold
in his defence
he'll sit on the fence
and tell all to *raise, shove or fold

x

*edited as I thought just fold was unfair to the old dear )

FlutNush

‘nh’ said I,

‘ul’ said he,

‘gg’ I typed,

‘n1’ they agreed.

‘d-ked!’ spat donk,

‘w-t-f?’ I replied,

‘ur fish’ he continued,

‘That's harsh!’ they cried.

And it was at that precise juncture, that the entire ugly spat transferred to the forum, whereupon a boatload of infantile and unnecessary posts were made in the heat of the moment (and after a few ales), that had our rash actions been properly and maturely considered in a more circumspect fashion (before typing), might not have happened at all – to the collective benefit of the community, who were doubtless growing tired of such pointless negativity and blatant trolling. 

FlutNush

I once had a pair 

of Queens in the hole,

but was destitute

and on the dole.

DTWBANDIT

In Response to Re: Poker --- Limericks:

sorry ive never had a good day or a bad day... they are all average to me.
Posted by BlackFish3

    well m8 why not post an average limerick   many thanks  dtw

DTWBANDIT

In Response to Re: Poker --- Limericks:

‘ nh’ said I, ‘ul’ said he, ‘gg’ I typed, ‘n1’ they agreed. ‘d-ked!’ spat donk, ‘w-t-f?’ I replied, ‘ur fish’ he continued, ‘That's harsh!’ they cried. And it was at that precise juncture, that the entire ugly spat transferred to the forum, whereupon a boatload of infantile and unnecessary posts were made in the heat of the moment (and after a few ales), that had our rash actions been properly and maturely considered in a more circumspect fashion (before typing), might not have happened at all – to the collective benefit of the community, who were doubtless growing tired of such pointless negativity and blatant trolling. 
Posted by FlutNush

   hiya m8 gotta say this is my favourite so far keep them coming   dtw

DTWBANDIT

In Response to Re: Poker --- Limericks:

Couldn't leave out Uncle Teek:- Some say Tikay is too old Some say that he's real TV gold in his defence he'll sit on the fence and tell all and sundry to fold x
Posted by TRIP5

   hey trip5 some good ones there m8 many thanks dtw

MAXALLY

There was once a young man from Luton
Who went everywhere with a donkey
He ............



Sky Poker apologises for the break in connection. The fault will be sorted as soon as possible. We thank you for your patience during this time. Customer care is on hand to take calls but are extremley busy at the moment.

oynutter

There once was a bit of a joker

took a hose to his Julee to soak her

her wet front looked nice

so he took his advice

and stopped J-K off for to poker

DTWBANDIT

      am sitting with aces in hand
      someone raises & i think its grand
      then the flop & the turn
      i think yes & bet stern
      he calls gets his card that riverman

    dtw

IRISHROVER

    preflop i pushed all in with my aces
   
    villan calls says we are at the races

    he shows 2 7 offffffffffffffff   !!!!!!

    i said your having a laughhhhhhhhh !!!!

    
     villan missed the flop

    lol pmsl i am like so so  so on top

    the turn comes seven
  
    no no please god in heaven

    

   the seven on river no  no noooooooo

   lapppy goes out windoooooooow

   i look for the dog and cant find that 

   then i find the poor poor cat 
   

    

        

AIRWALKER

When playing the game we call poker
Sometimes its a bit of a choker
I chuck my chips in
The bad beats begin
I then have to see my pawn-broker

AIRWALKER

I look at my 2 lovely aces
its just like a mini oasis
The river is turned
My money is earned
Just look at their 5 slapped a r s e faces

AIRWALKER

A pair of jacks is always nice
But just stop and always think twice
The three cards are flopped
An ace and kings dropped
My cats have just turned into mice

AIRWALKER

There's people who write on this forum
Who whine on at people and bore em
But some are real funny
And some take your money
And some just ain't got no decorum

DTWBANDIT

     when 1st i joined sky poker
     i played like a bit of a joker
     but along the way
     thanks to m8's Rich & TK
     am now a lot less broke-r

webby234

trying to play poker on sky is hard
for the connection is very baaaaaaaaad
prepare to be stunned
when they say NO REFUND
for your money has gone to imrad!!!!!!

DTWBANDIT

     just played a £1 satelite
    doubled up & gave them a fright
    kept my nerve through the game
    oh what a shame
    came 2nd & play semi tonite

oynutter

come on lads--a limerick goes----


da der der da der der da derrr

da der der da der der da derrr

da der der da der

da der der da der

da der der da der der da derrrrr

oynutter

A bloke said on sky that "I'm off"

and everyone else had a scoff

coz nobody cared

but somebody dared

to call the poor fella a poff

DTWBANDIT

      played  cash at 2/4p blind
      the table was not very kind
      abuse came at me
      no bother you see
      cause they were always behind

Torres1892

here's a quick rhyme about orford,
who once dreamt of winning The Open,
when the dreaded day came,
we all looked on in shame,
and then SKY called a full day of mourning

Torres1892

THERE IS A PRESENTER CALLED ED,
"A BAR OF CHOCOLATE" IT'S SAID,
WHEN HE GOES ON THE SHOW,
SHIRT BUTTONED REAL LOW,
I WISH IT WAS LISA INSTEAD !!

Torres1892

TIKAY WE ALL KNOW'S A MIDGET,
WHO WHEN ON THE SHOW TENDS TO FIDGET,
WITH HIS TALK OF THE TRAINS,
AND "MY GOD DOES IT PAIN"
DOES THIS MAN KNOW THAT LIFE IS FOR LIVIN !!!!

teachai

played the orfordable the other night
at the start, things  didnt go right.
I had 400 chips left, it was only level one 
Was dealt JJ, shoved all in, and prayed come on my son
err umm, 3 callers. I think I'm done for the night

I flop set; looking good, looking great
oh no!, on the turn I'm behind to a straight
pair the board, pair the board ,out aloud I say
A nine on the river, hip hip hurray
to house up on the river was my fate

A quadruple up from hand above
had some fold equity when I decided to shove
I came back from a chip and n chair
with a needed double up here and there
to manage a cash in the game I love.


NB: (true as well)

DTWBANDIT

In Response to Re: Poker --- Limericks:

played the orfordable the other night at the start, things  didnt go right. I had 400 chips left, it was only level one  Was dealt JJ, shoved all in, and prayed come on my son err umm, 3 callers. I think I'm done for the night I flop set; looking good, looking great oh no!, on the turn I'm behind to a straight pair the board, pair the board ,out aloud I say A nine on the river, hip hip hurray to house up on the river was my fate A quadruple up from hand above had some fold equity when I decided to shove I came back from a chip and n chair with a needed double up here and there to manage a cash in the game I love. NB: (true as well)
Posted by teachai

   n1 m8 thats class

Torres1892

In Response to Re: Poker --- Limericks:

come on lads--a limerick goes---- da der der da der der da derrr da der der da der der da derrr da der der da der da der der da der da der der da der der da derrrrr
Posted by oynutter

Absolutely spot on m8. some non runners on here !!!!!!!!!!!!