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World Cup in Doubt!

edited March 2010 in The Shed
Beckham injury - World Cup in doubt
Mon March 15th, 2010 11.24am GMT

FIFA, the football world governing body, has called a press conference in Cape Town today at 17.00 (15.00 GMT) where it has been reported there will be a "major announcement", as the world attempted to come to terms this morning with the tragic news that David Beckham OBE had torn his achilles tendon playing for AC Milan.

In light of the serious injury sustained by the legendary former England captain, speculation is now rife that FIFA president Sepp Blatter will declare this summers World Cup Finals, due to commence on June 11th, are to be postponed or possibly even cancelled. Former South Africa president Nelson Mandela has already described a World Cup without Beckham as "unthinkable".

Beckham has flown to Finland for specialist surgery, where the full horrifying extent of the injury will be revealed following the results of a scan. If, as expected, the scan confirms the worst, then 'Becks', as he is affectionately known throughout the world and beyond, will be out of action for a minimum of 4 to 6 months, effectively ruling him out until the end of the year.

Visibly suppressing a wry smile, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has appealed for calm, as the devastating news threatened to send the country spinning into a state of civil disorder. Amid sudden and widespread looting, two digital cameras and an iPod Touch were stolen this morning from a Currys in Northampton, whilst disturbing reports came in of an outbreak of mass self-harming in Beckham's home town of Leystonstone, East London, as hysterical England fans took to the streets, hacking frantically at their own wrists with an array of sharp implements and garden tools.

Meanwhile the worlds financial markets were once again plunged into turmoil as share values plummeted following the shocking news. Gillette and Calvin Klein, both major corporate sponsors of the Beckham Brand, were last night in emergency talks with banks in a desperate attempt to stave off a financial tsunami which according to one Executive Director, threatened to "tear us a new fiscal *-hole", whilst emergency aid workers helping victims in Haiti and Chile were told to "drop everything" as they were recalled and deployed to Los Angeles to help calm distraught Galaxy fans.

However, scientists at Oxford University moved quickly to quell fears that the planet was about to stop spinning on its axis as a result of the catastrophic news. They described the reports as "exagerrated".

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