football jokes

spornybol

THE REASON WOMEN DON`T PLAY FOOTBALL IS BECAUSE 11 OF THEM WOULD NEVER WEAR THE SAME OUTFIT IN PUBLIC ?

lucy4

EMILE HESKEY

lucy4

In Response to Re: football jokes:

  The reason women are no good at Football. ------------ They dont have the tackle. !!
Posted by logdon

i wondered how long before it got rude...haha.

bigbiker22

Pakistan can't play football.

Every time they get a corner they put a shop on it.

emilyegg

ffs SkyMod1 will love you Steve. I upset small nations, you upset countries the size of continents. If you do not have me as a friend, please invite me as a matter of urgency. LOL.

lucy4

In Response to Re: football jokes:

ffs SkyMod1 will love you Steve. I upset small nations, you upset countries the size of continents. If you do not have me as a friend, please invite me as a matter of urgency. LOL.
Posted by emilyegg

haha you will have to wise him up a bit about the skymod1 terminator before another one gets the dreaded mispelt P.M

emilyegg

its almost 10pm...cbeebies will be long gone. ;0)

spornybol

In Response to Re: football jokes:

Pakistan can't play football. Every time they get a corner they put a shop on it.
Posted by bigbiker22

tootingham wanted 2 try and sign ayrton senna but turned him down, because he could not take corners ?

unknown_username

British Government worried about survey which said mens tackle getting smaller. They have asked all men with less than 3 inches to put a red cross on a white flag and attach it to their cars.

TheAAces

Why haven't Haiti got a football team?

They couldn't dig up the players


I know, I know.......v sick!!!

JAEGERBOMB

England will win the World Cup

ollyd555

duran duran have just been asked to do the new world cup song ...................his name is rio and he watches from the stand

goodylad21

A weekend away with the lads....B&B from £6.50 a night.....

A ride on some of the worlds best rollercoasters.....

Get drunk before the match....Guaranteed 3 points....

Countless drunken tarts out on the town after the game....

Carlsberg don't do away games....But the premier league does..

Is everybody looking forward to the blackpool game ??

goodylad21

Fabio Capello has just been on TV and announced

Didier Drogba qualifies to represent England in the World Cup !!

FA sources claim Drogba's mum was born at chester zoo !

One more old joke and thats me.

These 3D TV's are so realistic, i nodded off during a Liverpool game and when i woke up 

my wallet had f k in gone !!

spornybol

In Response to Re: football jokes:

A weekend away with the lads....B&B from £6.50 a night..... A ride on some of the worlds best rollercoasters..... Get drunk before the match....Guaranteed 3 points.... Countless drunken tarts out on the town after the game.... Carlsberg don't do away games....But the premier league does.. Is everybody looking forward to the blackpool game ??
Posted by goodylad21

that depends is one off the drunken tarts your wife / girlfriend if so then yes?? lol

micky6chin

England were playing Scotland but the team bus was late the only player who made it was Rooney who went early in his own vehicle, he agreed to play them on his own the final score was 1-0 to England the team bus arrived 10 minutes after the game had finished and couldn't believe that Rooney had done it, they went to congratulate him and found him shaking his head in disappointment they asked him why he was so upset and that he done brilliant, he said sorry lads I've let you down I got sent off in the 25th minute.

micky6chin

The English FA HQ was set fire by arsonists last night in a phone call to Fabio Capello he enquired about the cups but was assured the fire never reached the canteen.

Burglars broke into Man City trophy room were they were seen stealing a blue carpet 

kirstii

The handling skills of Robert Green!!

paige55

THERE WAS A FLU VIRUS GOIN ROUND THE ENGLAND CAMP EARLIER THIS WEEK. FUNNILY ENOUGH ROBERT GREEN DIDNT CATCH THAT EITHER.

paige55

BLOKE SAID TO HIS WIFE RIGTH SEXY, UPSTAIR,S NOW SHE LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID 0ooH,NAUGHTY. HE SAID NO SERIOUSLY,THE WORLD CUP IS STARTING SO CLEAR OFF NOW. XX

spornybol

In Response to Re: football jokes:

BLOKE SAID TO HIS WIFE RIGTH SEXY, UPSTAIR,S NOW SHE LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID 0ooH,NAUGHTY. HE SAID NO SERIOUSLY,THE WORLD CUP IS STARTING SO CLEAR OFF NOW. XX
Posted by paige55

SO YOU KNOW WHAT I`M LIKE, HAVE WE MET lol

unknown_username

Yesterday Green didnt concede one goal in training! Today though Heskey and Green will train with the rest of the squad!

unknown_username

Stevie G as just been on tv saying the whole team are behind Green. So at least we know their will be someone to kick the ball off the line now!

MAXALLY

Robert Green has just requested a change of jersey colour for the next game (if selected)....

'' INDIGO ''

spornybol

I`V HEARD HESKEY IS SWOPPING POSITION WITH GREEN, WE MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE ?? LOL

lucy4

give £2 a month to a hungry african and what does he do with it ? buys a flopping trumpet.

paige55

Osama bin laden has just appeared in a new tv message proving he is still alive. He said the english football team were total shxt  saturday nite, british intetelligence have dismissed it saying it could have been recorded at any time during the last 40 years.

paige55

THIS WORLD CUP REMINDS ME OF MY MARRIAGE I SHOULD BE ENJOYING IT BUT THERE,S A CONSTANT DRONING  NOISE IN THE BACKGROUND THAT,S STARTING TO HISS ME OF.

paige55

i got stopped by the coppers at 2am and they asked me where i was going. i told them i was going to listen to a lecture about  the effects of alcohol on the human body, the old bill says WHO,S going to give a lecture at this time of night. i said the flopping wife.