How not to play poker!

Patching99

I am playing like a complete waste of space at the moment, please rip apart as I need to learn!!!

dave352	Small blind		£0.02	£0.02	£3.65
stu301	Big blind		£0.04	£0.06	£3.53
	Your hole cards	Q Q
Patching99	Raise		£0.16	£0.22	£2.49
Tomoose86	Call		£0.16	£0.38	£1.15
jennor	Fold
1	Call		£0.16	£0.54	£3.24
dave352	Fold
stu301	Fold
Flop
		9 A J
Patching99	Bet		£0.40	£0.94	£2.09
Tomoose86	Fold
1	All-in		£3.24	£4.18	£0.00
Patching99	All-in		£2.09	£6.27	£0.00
1	Unmatched bet		£0.75	£5.52	£0.75
Patching99	Show	Q Q
1	Show	A J
Turn
		9
River
		2
1	Win	Two Pairs, Aces and Jacks	£5.11		£5.86

Patching99

Patching99	Small blind		£0.02	£0.02	£3.82
Tomoose86	Big blind		£0.04	£0.06	£0.96
jennor	Sit out
	Your hole cards	10 A
J1MBOE	Fold
dave352	Fold
1	Raise		£0.12	£0.18	£2.33
Patching99	Call		£0.10	£0.28	£3.72
Tomoose86	Call		£0.08	£0.36	£0.88
Flop
		A 4 6
Patching99	Bet		£0.27	£0.63	£3.45
Tomoose86	Fold
1	Call		£0.27	£0.90	£2.06
Turn
		7
Patching99	Bet		£0.72	£1.62	£2.73
1	Call		£0.72	£2.34	£1.34
River
		9
Patching99	Check
1	Check
Patching99	Show	10 A
1	Show	A J
1	Win	Pair of Aces	£2.17		£3.51

Patching99

TWIG	Small blind		£0.02	£0.02	£1.36
Patching99	Big blind		£0.04	£0.06	£2.75
	Your hole cards	A K
M	All-in		£3.27	£3.33	£0.00
nixonbaby	Fold
leggie	Fold
TWIG	Fold
Patching99	All-in		£2.75	£6.08	£0.00
M	Unmatched bet		£0.48	£5.60	£0.48
Patching99	Show	A K
M	Show	K K
Flop
		8 6 9
Turn
		4
River
		J
M	Win	Pair of Kings	£5.18		£5.66

zing

hand #1 don't call this shove unless you got a read saying he's a nutter 

hands #2 and #3 are fine

keep at it.

The_Don90

As above.

The QQ one hes clearly got an ace.

The other two are just coolers, unlucky and good luck

Talon

  Hand 1 insta fold to the shove you know you are behind and drawing very thin.
  Hand 2 it happens, your betting was correct on all streets
  Hand 3. With no reads available i instafold here you only have the BB invested. What is his probable shoving range here PP or AK.  AK is likely split PP QQ or below you are racing KK 70/30 dog and AA 90/10 dog. For me you are not ahead against any part of his shoving range( unless you have reads on him being a maniac) and the best you can hope for is a race.

Patching99

Cheers,

This is how I saw it:
Hand 1 - He is not a nutter, no idea why I pressed the all in button so that was awful.
Hand 2 - Ok say the river card come down a 9 of spades - do I fire on the last street? 
Hand 3 - It was one of their first hands so should i be more patient, no notes on this player although I do now!

DOHHHHHHH

Just drink a bottle of vodka, decide its time to take a shot 5 levels above ur normal stakes, and do this

Player	Action	Cards	Amount	Pot	Balance
SEPPY808	Small blind		£1.00	£1.00	£696.83
GliterBabe	Big blind		£2.00	£3.00	£339.67
	Your hole cards	K 8
xxx	Raise		£6.00	£9.00	£190.00
pkf	Call		£6.00	£15.00	£149.70
DOHHHHHHH	Raise		£22.00	£37.00	£239.35
Stevie_J	Fold
SEPPY808	Fold
GliterBabe	Fold
xxx	Raise		£45.00	£82.00	£145.00
pkf	Fold
DOHHHHHHH	Raise		£91.00	£173.00	£148.35
xxx	All-in		£145.00	£318.00	£0.00
DOHHHHHHH	Call		£83.00	£401.00	£65.35
xxx	Show	A A
DOHHHHHHH	Show	K 8
Flop
		10 6 4
Turn
		2
River
		7
xxx	Win	Pair of Aces	£399.20		£399.20

YOUNG_GUN

Oh dohhhhhhh, not impressed there at all matey! i kept checking in and saw you were crushing your new level £150 on one table and £80 on the other and you stepped up again when drunk not good at all dude although been there done that. stick to your new level and only move up when your not drunk and have the bankroll, the weird thing is from what i saw you played alot tighter at 25/50 which seemed to work and wasnt so aggro

DOHHHHHHH

I thought 3 hearts were gonna come

YOUNG_GUN

lol UL in that case :P

scotty77

seppys on the table why do that it makes no sense at all.

DOHHHHHHH

I thought it was positive expected value taking into account stack sizes and his backdoor range from an UTG passive tight maniac, and implied odds gave me an edge to squeeze raise and isolate, whilst assessing his VPIP to check fold ratio, concluding that technically this is a correct play over time considering BRM, family pot expectancy, blocker bets, belly busters and continuation bet frequency.

Talon

  Nice post JJ.  Superb use of good jargon and gobbledegook to explain the fact that you were drunk and it seemed like a good idea at the time

donkeyplop

lol dohhhhhh you are a maniac unlucky!!!!

TopTopGun

Dohhhh you are the one guy that keeps me coming back to this forum, awesome hand keep up the good work soldier.