You need to be logged in to your Sky Poker account above to post discussions and comments.
You might need to refresh your page afterwards.
Sky Poker forums will be temporarily unavailable from 11pm Wednesday July 25th.
Sky Poker Forums is upgrading its look! Stay tuned for the big reveal!
A funny thing happened today......
I went to the doctor's today. I said "Doctor, what will happen if I carry on drinking Magners with my Tourette's medication?"
He replied "You'll get severe cider fecks"........
Coming out of the doc's i bumped into an old mate I'd not seen in ages. on asking him what he was upto these days he replied " just started my own business in Afghanistan, manufacturing landmines that look like prayer mats....... Prophets are going through the roof!!!"
As I walked down the street I bumped into a tramp who came up to me and asked for advice on getting a house. I told him to think outside the box.
Oh by the way...My wife filed for divorce yesterday. On the grounds that I've got a 'bad memory'.
She reckons, everytime I see another woman I 'forget' that I'm married.
see you later!.....
He replied "You'll get severe cider fecks"........
Coming out of the doc's i bumped into an old mate I'd not seen in ages. on asking him what he was upto these days he replied " just started my own business in Afghanistan, manufacturing landmines that look like prayer mats....... Prophets are going through the roof!!!"
As I walked down the street I bumped into a tramp who came up to me and asked for advice on getting a house. I told him to think outside the box.
Oh by the way...My wife filed for divorce yesterday. On the grounds that I've got a 'bad memory'.
She reckons, everytime I see another woman I 'forget' that I'm married.
see you later!.....
Comments
At the end of the tax year, the Inland Revenue office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the agent was checking the books he turned to the Accountant of the Hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"
"Good question," noted the Accountant. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.
But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Hospital Accountant, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Accountant.
"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Accountant. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the Inland Revenue Office, and about once a year they send us a complete p***k like you"
Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several priceless paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:
I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.