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Forum Fun Comp - Orford Profile!
Yes, get in!
Today, it's your chance to come up with the, err, "best" forum Profile for Lord Orford.
Same prize as last time - free entry into next Tuesday's £11 TOTTY, OR any TSP Classic of your choice.
Orford's current profile will follow, next Post.
Do your worst. I'm relying on you. I know you won't let me down......
Comments
Male, London
About Me: Sky Poker presenter and player
How long have you been playing poker?: Since the twenty-first century began
One piece of poker advice?: Four words- BANK, ROLL, MANAGE, MENT!
About Me: Sky Poker presenter (seriously) and player ( ok, not so seriously)
How long have you been playing poker?: been involved for many years but never played a hand properly yet
transexual from spotville
About Me: the joker in the pack
How long have you been playing poker?: what`s poker thought it was bingo
One piece of advice?: use clearasel to aviod volcano`s on forehead
one piece of poker advice?: if you get knocked out say your really richard bacon
Ladyboy, London
About Me: Trainee comedian.....on a 25 year course
How long have you been playing poker?: Since my brief stay at wormwood scrubs where it was either learn to play poker or hunt the soap bar.
One piece of poker advice?: If you do poker, give a false name and address in case she comes back looking for you in nine months time.
About Me: I'm not Richard Bacon and I like chatting up women avatar's on sky(even if they are men i will go with it)
How long have you been playing poker?: cant really call how i play playing really
One piece of poker advice?: Stay clear of my table, im too good!
Maleish, The cupboard under the stairs in Tikays house
About Me: I get paid for talking rubbish,,, how cool is that
How long have you been playing poker?: its tikays cat that presses the buttons so i cant take the credit...... sigh
Your best poker moment?: Inviting Budgirl to be live guest............ Then realising i have been trying to get in a blokes knickers for 12 months
One piece of poker advice?: when in doubt!!!!!!!!!!!! Shove!
About Me: i told a joke once and somebody laughed, or possible farted.
How long have you been playing poker?: long enough to know i am pants
One piece of poker advice?: Four words i am a donk
Male, London
About Me: I'm not Tikay. That's all I need to know.
How long have you been playing poker?: Ever since Denise Van Outen offered to play a heads-up game on the Big Breakfast bed. Losing that was painful. Johnny didn't even find out!
One piece of poker advice?: Play more hands than Tikay.
Male?: London, Now, where did I leave my car?
About me: Attempting to be a Sky Poker Presenter, I,ll make it one day, Trying to play poker (I get bluffed too easily)
How long have you been playing poker?: I have been trying for 11 years, one day, I will get it right ish.
Best Poker Moment: Luckboxing my way to winning the Open, and coming 2nd too, more luckboxing.
One piece of poker advice: Stick to your BankRoll, not keep topping up like me (Oooo Bernie:))
AlmostMale, London (when I remember)
About Me: Famous for my lost sausage
How long have you been playing poker?: Which ones poker again?
One piece of poker advice?: If you luckbox your way to second inflicting bad beats on the way only remember to tell people about the 6 outer that the winner hit to beat you (again and again and again etc)
rich orford
male, penthouse, london, Boom Boom, back of the net!
About me: I am a poker player Tv presenter/buisness man/virgin/athletic/ yada yada yada (two pages later) sometimes dress in womans clothes(just for fun, snif snif) yada yada yada yada, left school with no qualifications and still made it, boom boom, back of the net. yada yada yada yada (ten pages later) kissed a girl for first time at age 27, back of the net!!! well it looked like a girl!, yada yada yada, could tell you guys and not to forget the girls, mwuah mwuah A LOT MORE.... Anyone wanting to know more email me @rich,rich,rich,stinking,rich@orfordspenthouse.governer.
how long have you been playing poker?:hmmmmmm, I think they want to know more about me here!!!!! ok I started playing poker to add to my many skills way back about 1 yr ago whilst dating a one leged spanish bull fighter, Female obv!! she tried to teach me brag, huh!! I told her im the biggest bullXXXXer there is, lol it turned out that it was the card game!! dopey me, Anyways I didnt even manage second base with this one, DUMPTED, back of the net, She didnt realy suit me and my foot fettish anyway.
your best poker moment?: Had a meal AT, Wait for it!!! chrismoneymakers house, WAS fantastic, we have sooo much in common, Hes a virgin, Im a virgin/ hes popular/Im popular, Anyways, while I was there his dog walker didnt turn up, soooo I had the honer of walking chrises Doggies, Yey The smallest one took a huge dump right on my new spats, Anyway great food , Great day, And I kept the poop cos im planning to sell it on Ebay.
One piece of advice?: Poker is not the correct activity you want to do if your still a virgin, Already bought my leggins, Im of to audition for FAME, cross your fingers for me guys, If im not lucky there then, NOT SOO BOOM BOOM
ABOUT ME: I take longer in make up than all the others put together
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING POKER?: Not long enough, obviously
YOUR BEST POKER MOMENT?: Winning the open while the wife was teaching me to play
ONE PIECE OF POKER ADVICE?: Don't start playing a tournament while hair dye is on, you may well last longer than 30 minutes!
Male, Bobby's Room, Ballagio, Las Vegas
About Me: Sky Poker presenter and high-stakes cash player
How long have you been OWNING poker?: Since the twenty-first century began
One piece of poker advice?: watch and learn, im going to the top baby!!!! Dont take directions from Maxally or risk losing car
Host Richard Orford - he of former Big Breakfast roving reporter fame - is a really great emcee, chipping in with useful and timely incidental information in order to help sway the (usually stubborn) audience, particularly if the winner in points terms has actually answered fewer questions than one of the other players. It's also clear that he knows what he's talking about when reading the questions and he's got a good sense of control.
Are there more than one?????
Male, looking in the mirror
About Me: tikay is my hero and master
How long have you been playing poker?: first played with brian cant on the set of playaway so since about 1976
One piece of poker advice?: do what i do not what i say
ALL Male, Down south know wot i mean sunshine!!!
About Me: Sky poker King and Ace presenter
How long have you been playing poker?: Since cardboard was invented
One piece of poker advice: give it up, i will beat you
male, but thinking of buying a handbag--- London, (posh bit )
About me--- dwarfed and and very nearly invisible because of Tikay's shadow
How long have you been playing poker?--- you'll have to ask Tikay that one, I'm not qualfied to answer it myself
Your best poker moment---when I won a fiver from Ed giddins, and managed to figure out that he ripped me off by one pound fifty
One piece of poker advice? When Tikay is talking about trains, do not assume that his vast and profound knowledge of the subject cannot be applied to your poker game, I nearly won a hand once, because I was distracted by thinking of stevensons rocket when I saw steam coming out of my ears
Male Hen, London
About Me: Going through adolescence.
How long have you been playing poker?: Since I lost my sausage.
Your best poker moment?: Playing SPT Newcastle in 2011.
One piece of poker advice?: Don't get your hand stuck in the desk.
LOL at "Male Hen" Aaron!
Age: Considerably younger that TK
About Me: Enjoys naked sauna-room's in the gym.....FUUUUUUU ROWING MACHINES
How long have you been playing poker?: Well, I started with Snap and moved up the levels...
Your best poker moment?: Being Tony Kendall's understudy on the live show's,...my man, my mentor!!
One piece of poker advice?: DO NOT SHOVE AQ v AJ...TILT FOR LIFE!!!!!!..but i'm over it now obv.
Richorford profile--
male, London
About me--- I made my name doing Commercials for Clearasil
How long have you been playing poker?--- 5 mins in between breaks
Your best poker moment--- Finally being accepted as the new Apprentice Tea Boy for TSP Team
One piece of poker advice? --- Always have a Copy of my book "Orfords Poker Strategy Guide" at hand when playing online
Male, London
About Me: Sky Poker presenter/Laughing stock of the whole site
How long have you been playing poker?: Long enough to realise I am no good
Your best poker moment?: N/A
One piece of poker advice?: Always squeeze unopened (s)pots!
Male, (Tikays' FLUNKY), The car park.
About Me: Sky Pokers' Spotted D!ck (Bald and Zit).
How long have you been playing poker?: About 10 mins, I'm out already.
One piece of poker advice?: Ask Tikay, he's the expert.
Need more entries, please!
I lolled at the "Male Hen" reference, but can't give the author a prize as he's a friend, & I'll get moaned at. I am dying for someone to ask for the "Male Hen" reference to be explained, though.......
Male, London
About Me: Handsome(when its dark or im far away), One Black eye
How long have you been playing poker?: Since my divorce from Gabby Roslin (who also has custody of the kids Zig an Zag)
Your best poker moment?: Getting to a final table (railing Tikay)
Indifferent, Wherever
About Me:
Like taxi's, forget cars... Wear Jumpers.. Mostly Blue.. As are my jokes about Tikays Pjs.. Known for my spotted sausage (It's cleared up now)
How long have you been playing poker?: What technically or.. you know.. In my mind?
Your best poker moment?: My BEST poker monent? Oh I don't know.. I mean there have been so many.. like when I erm.. er... Well this was this one time that I.. when I.. . This one time.. I... erm. Uh. Where did I leave my car...
One piece of poker advice?: Don't go sticking your entire hand into strange holes. Especially if you are filming it.