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what a joke

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Comments

  • edited September 2009
    my favourite:

    Brunette driving through the countryside in her cabriollet, goes round a bend and sees the road blocked by sheep. she stops her car and says to the farmer herding them.

     " if i can guess how many sheep there are can i have one?"

      "OK" says the farmer.

     "146" says the brunette.

     "thats amazing, take your pick love you're spot on" replies the farmer

    So the woman takes her pick and puts it the back of her car.

    "Just a minute" shouts the farmer.
     
    "what" she replied.

    "if i can guess your real hair colour, can i have my dog back"
  • edited September 2009
    In Response to Re: what a joke:
    my favourite: Brunette driving through the countryside in her cabriollet, goes round a bend and sees the road blocked by sheep. she stops her car and says to the farmer herding them.  " if i can guess how many sheep there are can i have one?"   "OK" says the farmer.  "146" says the brunette.  "thats amazing, take your pick love you're spot on" replies the farmer So the woman takes her pick and puts it the back of her car. "Just a minute" shouts the farmer.   "what" she replied. "if i can guess your real hair colour, can i have my dog back"
    Posted by labrat64
    dont do jokes very often but that tickled my fancy HEHEHEHEHE
  • edited September 2009
    In Response to Re: what a joke:
    my favourite: Brunette driving through the countryside in her cabriollet, goes round a bend and sees the road blocked by sheep. she stops her car and says to the farmer herding them.  " if i can guess how many sheep there are can i have one?"   "OK" says the farmer.  "146" says the brunette.  "thats amazing, take your pick love you're spot on" replies the farmer So the woman takes her pick and puts it the back of her car. "Just a minute" shouts the farmer.   "what" she replied. "if i can guess your real hair colour, can i have my dog back"
    Posted by labrat64
    lol. Thats a cracker
  • edited September 2009
    Three tortoises Jim, Ray and Jeff go for a picnic. It takes them 10 days to get there and when they do they realise they have forgotten the bottle opener. Jim and Ray ask Jeff to go back and fetch it. F off says Jeff by the time i get back you two would have eaten the sandwiches. Jim and Ray promise not to so Jeff goes off. 15 days pass and Jeff has not returned, 20 days pass and he still has not returned and Jim and Ray are starving but keep their promise not to eat the sarnies. 25 days pass and still no sign of Jeff so Jim says to Ray, F it if we dont eat now we'll die so they begin to eat the sandwiches - just then Jeff pops out from behind a tree and shouts 'i knew it you greedy sods im not going now'
  • edited September 2009
    what do blondes put behind their ears to make them more attractive to men - their ankles
  • edited September 2009
    In Response to Re: what a joke:
    what do blondes put behind their ears to make them more attractive to men - their ankles
    Posted by loonytoons
    Thats sooooooooooooo naughty loony x
  • edited September 2009

    Fallen and Michelle Orpe decide to go camping one weekend.

    They arrive at their chosen destination and are very pleased with themselves at setting up their tents and equipment before dusk and settle in for the night.

    A few hours later, Fallen is woken by a loud noise outside her tent and goes out to investigate.

    She screams at Michelle who wakes up and asks her what the matter is.

    "Look! Bear tracks! quick Michelle, we better pack up and leave before it comes back and eats us alive!"

    "Don't be silly", says Michelle, "look, they're deer tracks, come on Fallen, we should follow them, I've always wanted to see deer in the wild!"

    Fallen reluctantly agrees and they both start to follow the tracks.

    However Fallen is still not sure so they continue to argue until half an hour later, when they're both run over by a train.
  • edited September 2009

    American,Englishman and a blonde (xFALLENx) go on a gameshow. The quiz master says 'final question for the jackpot' Complete this well known song and spell the final word'.

    Old mcdonald had _______

    'I know, i know' says the American, is it old mcdonald had a ranch R-A-N-C-H.

    'That is incorrect' says the quizmaster.

    'Iknow, i know' says the Englishman, is it old mcdonald had an estate E-S-T-A-T-E

    'Thats incorrect' says the qizmaster.

    'Iknow,i know' says the blonde (xFALLENx) is it old mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O

  • edited September 2009
    In Response to Re: what a joke:
    American,Englishman and a blonde (xFALLENx) go on a gameshow. The quiz master says 'final question for the jackpot' Complete this well known song and spell the final word'. Old mcdonald had _______ 'I know, i know' says the American, is it old mcdonald had a ranch R-A-N-C-H. 'That is incorrect' says the quizmaster. 'Iknow, i know' says the Englishman, is it old mcdonald had an estate E-S-T-A-T-E 'Thats incorrect' says the qizmaster. 'Iknow,i know' says the blonde (xFALLENx) is it old mcdonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
    Posted by loonytoons
    Ur such a funnnnnnnnny man!!!!
  • edited September 2009
    THINK I WILL START A NEW THREAD ' PICK ON xFALLENx DAY' BUT B CAREFUL I HAVE DARTS AND NOT AFRAID 2 USE x
  • edited September 2009
    lol lol lol  fallen chin up
  • edited September 2009
    Another suggestion is to measure your performance over a higher number of games say between 10 or 20 sit and go's. This will give you a more accurate anaylsis of your play and the bad luck should even itself out.

    People that moan about bad beats are the same sort of people that moan about stocks that go down the day after you buy them. If you give it enough time and measure performance or returns over a longer period of time the luck becomes a less significant factor and so to do the day to day losing swings.

    Read Phil Galfonds blog - Hes a genius at this game and even he has bad bad swings where he is doing nothing different but coming off second best and they last for days and days.

    Remember too a lot of opponents are calling incorrect sized bets and ignoring pot odds because they fall in love with certain hands. This will cause bad beats. On the flip side of this opponents will also be calling bets with trash hands because they DO have the odds and will consequently get lucky against you in the same way.

    Another idea is to write down every time you get lucky as an under dog and then when someone gets lucky against you when you are on top. Wait until you have a decent chunck of data and then analyse the numbers.

    Go and play 50 sit and go's apply some analysis and post your findings. If you get donked 40 times you may have a case :)
  • edited September 2009
    that one wasnt very funny
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