HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT

unknown_username

any ideas welcome
many thanks

loonytoons

You could try taking her on a cruise and talk her into doing the titanic scene on the bow of the ship and then accidently push her in. (this is  a joke peeps, my wife is still very much alive and well)

unknown_username

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

You could try taking her on a cruise and talk her into doing the titanic scene on the bow of the ship and then accidently push her in. (this is  a joke peeps, my wife is still very much alive and well)
Posted by loonytoons

by the time you factor in the price of the cruise surly thats -ev??

paige55

NOW HOW DID I NO BEFORE I EVEN LOOKED AT THE2ND POST IT WOULD BE FROM LOONYTOONS:):):):)XXX

paige55

I NO HIM SO WELL:):):)

spornybol

I KNOW GASSING IN BED DON`T WORK, IT ONLY BACK-FIRES !

yuranASSet

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

You could try taking her on a cruise and talk her into doing the titanic scene on the bow of the ship and then accidently push her in. (this is  a joke peeps, my wife is still very much alive and well)
Posted by loonytoons

I always fancied the idea of climbing up on to the roof just before she gets in from work and then hit her on the head with a roof slate.

MAXALLY

You shouldn't have got married in the 1st place.....then you would not have this problem.....so this is your fault....your mess......deal with it!

p.s (try this site....assassinateyourwifecheaply.com)

unknown_username

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

You shouldn't have got married in the 1st place.....then you would not have this problem.....so this is your fault....your mess......deal with it! p.s (try this site....assassinateyourwifecheaply.com)
Posted by MAXALLY

lol

spornybol

I BROUGHT THE MOTHER INLAW A LOVELY CHAIR BUT THE WIFE WON`T LET ME PLUG IT IN !!

67Bhoys

A staged bus crash, then we all could get rid of our wives at the same time

lozgo

Soz.... bus not big enough. Will have to move up to a train.
Now where is my 'How to derail a train' manual?

labrat64

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

A staged bus crash, then we all could get rid of our wives at the same time
Posted by 67Bhoys

i'll drive the bus for you!!

logdon

A one eyed Man in a raincoat will hunt you down and your Jail Pal's will make you their Wife.! Still thinking about it.??????? 

spornybol

run her a bath and accidently put acid in it

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

A one eyed Man in a raincoat will hunt you down and your Jail Pal's will make you their Wife.! Still thinking about it.??????? 
Posted by logdon

That's a picnic compared to what i'm putting up with at the mo

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

Soz.... bus not big enough. Will have to move up to a train. Now where is my 'How to derail a train' manual?
Posted by lozgo

Tikay might be able to help you out with that one

spornybol

A QUESTION FOR BURNSHURTZ, IN THE TITLE IS WIFE A REPACEMENT NAME FOR MODS ???



























































I`m joking honest

lucy4

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

A one eyed Man in a raincoat will hunt you down and your Jail Pal's will make you their Wife.! Still thinking about it.??????? 
Posted by logdon

He has gone to the big murder mystery in the sky....

logdon

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT : He has gone to the big murder mystery in the sky....
Posted by lucy4

Then, "Poirot"  will crush your little grey cells  and mona 'me  squeeze them till you cry, "she's alive I couldn't do it".!

loonytoons

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

I BROUGHT THE MOTHER INLAW A LOVELY CHAIR BUT THE WIFE WON`T LET ME PLUG IT IN !!
Posted by spornybol

Don't make the same mistake as this idiot, use a heavy wooden mallet not a rubber cosh, it only bounces off their heads?

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3681766/Electric-chair-to-kill-wife.html

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

Soz.... bus not big enough. Will have to move up to a train. Now where is my 'How to derail a train' manual?
Posted by lozgo

I've just had a thought, to save any complications on arranging a derailment, we could get two trains, single track, opposite directions!!!  And as aBrucie bonus, we would have double the capacity!!

logdon

 Well, your all struggling with this one ............... why not ask the Mods, they know how to get rid of people.?  Bye Bye!

harding10

I have what are meant to be the perfect murder weapons, they leave no trace.

Would you like to discuss a fee? lol

spornybol

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

I have what are meant to be the perfect murder weapons, they leave no trace. Would you like to discuss a fee? lol
Posted by harding10

HOW DID YOU GET A PHOTO OFF MY WIFE ????

logdon

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT : HOW DID YOU GET A PHOTO OFF MY WIFE ????
Posted by spornybol

"That is a Male Pig"! .................. How do I know, I hear you say.!      "Well, all Males are Pigs". !

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT : "That is a Male Pig"! .................. How do I know, I hear you say.!      "Well, all Males are Pigs". !
Posted by logdon

Does that include Peter Andre? Whom you are "having over to dinner"

leon621

easy one this, just wait til she asks

'does my bum look big in this?' 

your reply 'yes actually'

and she'll do the hard work for ya.

 

side effects may include your own death using this idea

spornybol

easy for me i live near beachy head, so romantic stroll with doing a janine butcher in mind, honest officer she got to close and slipped, but knowing my luck she`ll bounce back up ???

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

easy for me i live near beachy head, so romantic stroll with doing a janine butcher in mind, honest officer she got to close and slipped, but knowing my luck she`ll bounce back up ???
Posted by spornybol

Not if you chain an anvil to her leg

logdon

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT:

In Response to Re: HOW TO MURDER YOUR WIFE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT : Not if you chain an anvil to her leg
Posted by 67Bhoys

This ......... your suggestion to chain an Anvil to her leg ?   this is really going to look like an Accident. She was taking Anti Depressants ....... No she's just been out buying new dresses. Take him away Officer of the Lawr.!