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The best and worst birthday present - ever.

loonytoonsloonytoons
edited November 2009 in The Shed
My birthday was comming up and my ever thoughtful wife asked me what i would like. Now i love a game of chess, im not great at it but i just like playing occasionally. My wife, god bless her, i thought she was near the back of the queue when they were giving out brains, and no matter how much i tried to teach her she couldnt understand the game ( she prefers draughts). 'An electronic chess set' i said, that way i can play against the computer ( level 1 of course). My birthday duly arrived and i got home from work to be greeted by a rectangular parcel. Great not clothes but a proper man toy lol. I opened it up and there in front of me was an electronic chess game, i plugged it in and started to play. After 10 mins the thing went on the blink, never buy anything made in china. I shout over to the wife and she says, 'its ok, i got it from ARGOS and i've got the receipt, i'll go and get another one'. Me being me i forget all about it until this week (5 months later). 'What happened about that chess set you got me for my birthday' i say. 'Oh i went back to the shop and they didnt have any more in stock' she replies. 'So what did you do with the receipt' i said. ' Oh i bought myself a new hairdryer, my other one was no good' Now i think its me who was near the back of the queue lol. Next week im getting my own back, for her birthday im getting her 3 batteries with the words 'present not included' Whats the best and worst presents that all you have either received or given out?
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  • margatemafmargatemaf
    edited October 2009
    That was so funny!! great revenge story lol you have to let everyone know how that goes down .... personally i can't wait to hear!!!

    Right back to post ....

    best present - back in august my wife bought me a proper poker table with some las vegas poker chips ... was absolutely speechless!! what's more when i came home it was all set up and six of my buddies sat round it with las vegas banners an balloons everywhere, i am never lost for words but i was that day with a large lump in my throat too!! fantastic woman!!

    OK, worst present - i cannot really remember the worst present i ever had so i will change it slightly to the worst present i have given if thats ok :) you won't believe this .... when i first got together with my wif 14 years ago i bought her one of those little henry hoovers, you know the ones with a little smiley face on the front and a microwave. The wife was always moaning about it and the microwave being big and wanted one of those new smaller ones that were just coming out, so i thought i was being practical and helpful...... Apparently i was wrong :)))))
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  • loonytoonsloonytoons
    edited October 2009
    lol why didnt you go the whole hog and get her some pots and pans as well. 
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  • BADBOY985BADBOY985
    edited October 2009
    BEST PRESENT. WAS A MK1 FORD ESCORT FOR MY 17TH BIRTHDAY IT WAS A LOVELY SH**  BROWN COLOUR BUT I WISH ID NEVER SOLD IT TRADED IT UP TO A MK3 WHICH WOULDNT START IF IT HAD RAINED WITHIN A FIFTY MILE RADUIS.
    WORST PRESENT. ONE OF MY SISTERS IS A LEGENDERY BUYER OF NAFF AND BIZARE PRESENTS (MY BROTHER IN LAW ONCE GOT A DIGERIDOO) AND 1 XMAS I GOT A JIVE BUNNY AND THE MASTERMIXERS T SHIRT (I WAS 19 AT THE TIME).
    LOVE THIS POST. CAN I ADD THE PRESENT YOU ASK FOR EVERY YEAR AND NEVER GOT.
     MINE WAS SUBBUTEO CRICKET I OFTEN WANDER LONGINGLY ONTO EBAY AND HOVER OVER BIDDING FOR ONE LOL
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  • webby234webby234
    edited October 2009
    best present= still waiting

    worst present= a card!
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  • GoodReadsGoodReads
    edited October 2009
    In Response to The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    My birthday was comming up and my ever thoughtful wife asked me what i would like. Now i love a game of chess, im not great at it but i just like playing occasionally. My wife, god bless her, i thought she was near the back of the queue when they were giving out brains, and no matter how much i tried to teach her she couldnt understand the game ( she prefers draughts). 'An electronic chess set' i said, that way i can play against the computer ( level 1 of course). My birthday duly arrived and i got home from work to be greeted by a rectangular parcel. Great not clothes but a proper man toy lol. I opened it up and there in front of me was an electronic chess game, i plugged it in and started to play. After 10 mins the thing went on the blink, never buy anything made in china. I shout over to the wife and she says, 'its ok, i got it from ARGOS and i've got the receipt, i'll go and get another one'. Me being me i forget all about it until this week (5 months later). 'What happened about that chess set you got me for my birthday' i say. 'Oh i went back to the shop and they didnt have any more in stock' she replies. 'So what did you do with the receipt' i said. ' Oh i bought myself a new hairdryer, my other one was no good' Now i think its me who was near the back of the queue lol. Next week im getting my own back, for her birthday im getting her 3 batteries with the words 'present not included' Whats the best and worst presents that all you have either received or given out?
    Posted by loonytoons
    Lol great story... similar thing happened to me when my electric razor was returned and come back as a pair of ear rings

    Best - When i got my Atari as kid


    many hand blisters followed



    Worst has to be the knitted jumpers Nan use to make me



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  • Grimstar30Grimstar30
    edited October 2009
    Worst present given was my dad giving my mum and ironing board for her birthday a few years ago. Not surprisingly they are now divorced! To be fair it was wider than a normal type lol


    Best present I ever got was maybe a bike when younger / cat / private number plates.

    Worst present: Gift vouchers - just give a person cash!


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  • loonytoonsloonytoons
    edited October 2009
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    Worst present given was my dad giving my mum and ironing board for her birthday a few years ago. Not surprisingly they are now divorced! To be fair it was wider than a normal type lol Best present I ever got was maybe a bike when younger / cat / private number plates. Worst present: Gift vouchers - just give a person cash!
    Posted by Grimstar30
    too right i once got gift vouchers for Boots chemist lol
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  • Hale72Hale72
    edited October 2009
    My son was given a £10 gift voucher for Debenhams last year,

    Nice thought but he was only 2 years old and the range of items suitable for a 2 year old is somewhat limited.

    No worries though, they are having it back this year in their card, saves me a present and I gave my son the equivalent in cash.

    His second worse 'present' was a text message from a relative. He was too tight to even buy a card for a 2 year old.

    My worse ever present was an iron my husband bought me for my birthday a couple of years ago. Although, I got him back last year and wrapped up most of his toiletries I usually get him when I do my shopping. I have also bought him paint. (mainly because I wanted the spare room done) and also wrapped up his weekly ration of beer.

    Reduces the shopping bill no end.

    I also always put his presents in gift bags but never write on the labels as he then gives them me back so I can use them again. Got to be green, I purely do it to save the enviroment. (not to save cash, no, I would never be that tight)
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  • loonytoonsloonytoons
    edited October 2009
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    My son was given a £10 gift voucher for Debenhams last year, Nice thought but he was only 2 years old and the range of items suitable for a 2 year old is somewhat limited. No worries though, they are having it back this year in their card, saves me a present and I gave my son the equivalent in cash. His second worse 'present' was a text message from a relative. He was too tight to even buy a card for a 2 year old. My worse ever present was an iron my husband bought me for my birthday a couple of years ago. Although, I got him back last year and wrapped up most of his toiletries I usually get him when I do my shopping. I have also bought him paint. (mainly because I wanted the spare room done) and also wrapped up his weekly ration of beer. Reduces the shopping bill no end. I also always put his presents in gift bags but never write on the labels as he then gives them me back so I can use them again. Got to be green, I purely do it to save the enviroment. (not to save cash, no, I would never be that tight)
    Posted by Hale72
    Thats a fantastic idea Hale, i get 1000 free texts a month so i may send one to the mother in law lol. That reminds me ,a guy at work doesnt get on with his mother in law, in fact they hate each other and she bought him a burial plot from the council in the local cemetary lol.
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  • NoseyBonkNoseyBonk
    edited October 2009
    In Response to The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    Next week im getting my own back, for her birthday im getting her 3 batteries with the words 'present not included'
    Posted by loonytoons
    LOL - Hilarious!

    But of course when she finds out she will unleash death upon you ... LOL ... So it's been nice knowing ya.


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  • margatemafmargatemaf
    edited October 2009
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    lol why didnt you go the whole hog and get her some pots and pans as well. 
    Posted by loonytoons

    That was the plan for xmas :)))
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  • colalancolalan
    edited October 2009
    BEST  "DARK SIDE OF THE MOON" BY PINK FLOYD LP


    WORSE "CIGAR"    (I DONT SMOKE)
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  • BADBOY985BADBOY985
    edited October 2009
    OWNING DARK SIDE OF THE MOON AND NOT PARTAKING IN SMOKE WHAT A WASTE!!! LOL
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  • Hale72Hale72
    edited October 2009

    Or is that schmoke?

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  • margatemafmargatemaf
    edited October 2009
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    OWNING DARK SIDE OF THE MOON AND NOT PARTAKING IN SMOKE WHAT A WASTE!!! LOL
    Posted by BADBOY985

    Lol, quality quote :)
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  • skip_xskip_x
    edited October 2009
    Worse = a ruddy shoe horn .. i was 9 ffs!
    Best = a Dawes racing bike 
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  • GoodReadsGoodReads
    edited October 2009
    Sorry forgot about the time i was 18 and my very ...erm...well endowed ex gf made me go to my room to wait for my present...only to burst in totally naked with a big bow round her ( jeez i miss her)

    has to be the best yet shortest present i ever enjoyed
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  • loonytoonsloonytoons
    edited October 2009
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    Worse = a ruddy shoe horn .. i was 9 ffs! Best = a Dawes racing bike 
    Posted by skip_x
    I got a Dawes racing bike 30 years ago, it was brill, do they still make them. Remember the chopper, chipper and tomahawk. We used to clip a piece of card on the spokes to make a 'motorbike' sound, god we were daft and easily pleased then.
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  • GoodReadsGoodReads
    edited October 2009
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever. : I got a Dawes racing bike 30 years ago, it was brill, do they still make them. Remember the chopper, chipper and tomahawk. We used to clip a piece of card on the spokes to make a 'motorbike' sound, god we were daft and easily pleased then.
    Posted by loonytoons
    Yeah my bmx sounded like a harley....why dont kids do that anymore?
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  • BADBOY985BADBOY985
    edited October 2009
    n Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever. : Yeah my bmx sounded like a harley....why dont kids do that anymore?
    Posted by MrMagooo
    COZ ITS QUICER TO HOT WIRE A NISSAN MICRA
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  • BuistyboyBuistyboy
    edited October 2009
    this thread has really taken me back to my youth, and in particular to my love of computer games.

    With that in mind, the best present i ever received was either the commodore amiga 500 i got for xmas one year, and had to endure seeing it on top of a wall cabinet for the duration of december.  Or it was the zx spectrum with the rubber keys that came a few years earlier and introduced me to the delights of manic miner and so on...

    The worst present i ever received was a muscle top.  It didnt look too great on me, given that i weighed about 8 stone soaking wet lol. Probably wouldnt fit roud my belly now mind you...
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  • skip_xskip_x
    edited October 2009
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever. : I got a Dawes racing bike 30 years ago, it was brill, do they still make them. Remember the chopper, chipper and tomahawk. We used to clip a piece of card on the spokes to make a 'motorbike' sound, god we were daft and easily pleased then.
    Posted by loonytoons
    wouldn`t know if they were still made - mine was 2 tone metalic green :)
    we did lollypop sticks in the spokes
    cow horn crossbars lol
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  • nirvana29nirvana29
    edited October 2009
    colalan, good gift ur wright. i got a suit 4 christmas once (when i was 16). a gameboy colour was prolly the best, with pokemon red, the lads on here know what im talkin bout.
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  • loonytoonsloonytoons
    edited October 2009
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    colalan, good gift ur wright. i got a suit 4 christmas once (when i was 16). a gameboy colour was prolly the best, with pokemon red, the lads on here know what im talkin bout.
    Posted by nirvana29
    never heard of it explain please
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited November 2009
    I've posted this before so sorry if it repeats. A number of years ago I went to my local hardware/diy store and bought my wife a beautiful new petrol lawnmower for her birthday. She'd been complaing for some time that the old mower was too heavy for her when she mowed the lawns. Being a considerate husband for over 30 years I thought this would make the ideal present. I explained to the 2 guys in the shop what I was looking for and why. Their attitude towards me changed immediately, nothing was too much trouble and I eventually walked away with a top of the range Mountfield mower. As I left the shop one of the guys shouted to me 'good luck, you're our hero.' I'm not sure what the prooblem was with the mower, wrong colour, who knows? But she-who-must-be-obeyed wasn't a happy bunny. But there is a happy ending to the story because it must have worked. S-W-M-B-O has never once complained about having to mow the lawn with her new mower since that day.
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  • loonytoonsloonytoons
    edited November 2009
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    I've posted this before so sorry if it repeats. A number of years ago I went to my local hardware/diy store and bought my wife a beautiful new petrol lawnmower for her birthday. She'd been complaing for some time that the old mower was too heavy for her when she mowed the lawns. Being a considerate husband for over 30 years I thought this would make the ideal present. I explained to the 2 guys in the shop what I was looking for and why. Their attitude towards me changed immediately, nothing was too much trouble and I eventually walked away with a top of the range Mountfield mower. As I left the shop one of the guys shouted to me 'good luck, you're our hero.' I'm not sure what the prooblem was with the mower, wrong colour, who knows? But she-who-must-be-obeyed wasn't a happy bunny. But there is a happy ending to the story because it must have worked. S-W-M-B-O has never once complained about having to mow the lawn with her new mower since that day.
    Posted by elsadog
    great story maybe she's at the bottom of the garden with her lover,thats why she aint complaining lol
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited November 2009
    I wish !
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  • Hale72Hale72
    edited November 2009
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever.:
    In Response to Re: The best and worst birthday present - ever. : wouldn`t know if they were still made - mine was 2 tone metalic green :) we did lollypop sticks in the spokes cow horn crossbars lol
    Posted by skip_x
    I remember the plastic bread clips we used to put on our brake cables. (you dont get them anymore)

    The only reason I kept my bike so long was to see how long it would take to cover the entire brake cables.

    I had a foldaway 'metro'. Anyone remember those? We never folded it and after about 2 years I tried but the hinge had completely rusted.
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  • loonytoonsloonytoons
    edited November 2009
    Well peeps,ive finally done it! Got home from work and she had a face like she was sucking a lemon, and the silence was deafening. I ignored it, but having typical women traits she couldn't keep it shut for long lol 'i suppose you think your funny' she said. 'What are you on about' i said trying not to smile. She threw the birthday wrapper with the 3 batteries i kindly bought her. not just any batteries i might add - the creme de la creme Duracell. She's still sulking now so i will give her the real prezzie in a while (when the footies on). In case your wondering its one of those ipod gadgets in pink, so she can load her bay city rollers etc etc onto it lol.
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  • booboo69booboo69
    edited November 2009
    Christmas not birthday....

    About 3 or 4 years ago I bought my brother a PS3 and a couple of games along with a couple of blu ray films. Few hundred quids worth of kit.

    He bought me a skateboard. I was 40 at the time.

    Best present I ever got for my birthday was two week driving course and test and a mini for my 18th.
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