I'm glad i'm a man!! funny as!!

margatemaf

I'm Glad I'm A Man

I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.

I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese

I don't b**ch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts

I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west

I don't get wasted after only 2 beers

and when I do drink I don't end up in tears.

I won't spend hours deciding what to wear,

I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair

and I don't go around checking my reflection

in everything shiny from every direction.

I don't whine in public and make us leave early

and when you ask why get all bitter and surly.

I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing

I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring.

I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back

I don't carry our differences into the sack.

I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you

or think every guy out there's trying to steal you.

I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too

I know what the time is and I know what to do.

And I honestly think its a privilege for me

to have these two balls and stand when I pee

I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball

It's more fun than dealing with women after all

I won't cry if you figure out it's not going to work

I won't remain bitter and call you a jerk.

Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure

I won't assume it's permanent by any measure.

Yes, I'm glad I'm a man, a man you see

I'm glad I'm not capable of child delivery

I don't get all b*tchy every 28 days

I'm glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raise

I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true

I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!

ness4

Hmm.....

Thanks for portraying females in such a positive, pleasant way!

Males wouldn't be able to live without us though so mwuahahaha deal with the above :P

brookbrid

 opening a can of worms...IMO,,some wont see the funny side GL

margatemaf

well if they don't then they don't! i am big enough to take it lol as long as before they start going down the "your sexist" route they also realize i have posted men jokes too so i am having a laugh at both male an female an not just 1! then i'll happily take it and wear my tin hat

beaujolais

Technically,biologically speaking,men are a defective chromosome lol

margatemaf

can any man really argue with that!! .....nah i don't think so

beaujolais

x

Urdadi

5 minutes for doing your hair. sure your not a girl? most guys i know take less than 1 minute, and that includes finding the gel.

nice post but they better half of the species will have you as a marked man

Urdadi

my last post was sarcasm just incase people were not sure.

margatemaf

Lol, i am always a marked man, i have a wife and 4 daughters i live with ..... jesss even the dog is female i am always out numbered

apollo_11

I get the same problem with my wife and two female cats.

Urdadi

In Response to Re: I'm glad i'm a man!! funny as!!:

Lol, i am always a marked man, i have a wife and 4 daughters i live with ..... jesss even the dog is female i am always out numbered
Posted by margatemaf

god i feel sorry for you.  I can see where the sense of humour comes from. You definately need it.

i suffer in a house of two female cats, wife and teenage daughter. My son is the only thing keeping me sane.

grimsbyr06

PLEASE LISTEN TO THE ARTICK MONKEYS SONG  ! MARDY BUM! THE WORDS ARE ALL TRUE  JUST U TUBE IT AND SEE WOT YOU THINK

margatemaf

will do .... i am very curious now lol