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A couple of driving jokes;)
A man in his 40's bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Merecedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 110.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
A man was out driving when he saw a police car in his rear-view mirror, with it's siren wailing. The man pulled over and the police car stopped behind him.
The policeman approached the man's car and said to him: "Do you know that your wife fell out of the car five miles back?"
The man replied: "Oh thank God! I thought I had gone deaf!"
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