Poker Jokes

labrat64

A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous figure of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the h*ll have you been?" she asked.

"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he said. "I've just lost you in a card game."

"How did you manage to do that?"

"It wasn't easy, honest. I had to fold with a royal flush."

labrat64

Two couples got together to play some cards. Before the game started one of the players, named John, got up to go to the bathroom. On his way to the bathroom he passed by the bedroom and accidentally saw Bills wife changing. His faced turned beat red, he quickly said excuse me and continued on to the bathroom. Later, after the game was over, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed him and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked?"

John admitted that, well, yes, he did. She said, "You can have it, but it will cost you £100." After a minute or two, John indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should come to her house around 2:00 pm on Friday.

Friday came and John went to her house at 2:00 pm. After paying her £100 they went to the bedroom together. When they were finished John left. Bill came home about 6:00 pm. He asked his wife, "Did John come by this afternoon?"

Reluctantly, she replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Bill asked, "Did John give you £100?" She thinks, "Oh my god, he knows!" Finally she says, "Well, yes... he did give me £100."

"Good," Bill says. "John came by the office this morning and borrowed £100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back."



Ok, there's a couple to start you off. Anybody got any more?

Quagmire72

Last Christmas me & my family had a game of strip poker(we're very close). Things were going well until I decided to up the ante. My uncle hasn't spoken to me since!

webby234

like the second one lab, first 1 is really bad though lol

namesb0nd

a man is playing cash and is down on his starting stack.Then a magician appears next to him and says he will give him £1,000,000,000 if he gets up from the table right now.The player says:

"hmmm...let me get back to even first"

Gangster62

Gus Hansen and robert fox was heads up in the 2006 WSOP and gus beat him using his favourite hand.......and rolling pin.

webby234

come on guys some of these^^^^^^^^ are just terrible lol

labrat64

I thought mine were cringeworthy, but you lot obviously know worse ones lol