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Favourite comedian!
I'm listing the more recent, well known one's so list your favs if not on list! Quotes are welcomed!!!
Comments
good thread though, i like your style
Stewart Lee - On the Celeb Big Brother Racism Scandal - When Martin Luther King saw racism in 1960s America, Martin Luther King called it out in the strongest, most visionary, eloquent terms possible. Martin Luther King said;
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.” – Martin Luther King.
And when Russell Brand saw racism in his place of work, Big Brother, Russell Brand said;
“Oooh! There’s been some bad racism and stuff going down today, and no mistake, my liege. It’s made Mr. Winky go right small it has. Oh yes it has, oh yeah. And my ballbag, my old ballbag, has only gone up my bum. Here’s H from Steps.”
Dylan Moran -
“I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?”
Bill Bailey - I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair. I call them the Eggs Of Numbing Inevitability. And when I buy them, I always ask for them in the third person: "Bill Bailey would like the Eggs Of Numbing Inevitability." I did that the other day and it answered me back, and he said to me: "No, I am Bill Bailey. You are not Bill Bailey, you are just a mere doppelgänger. I am the true Bill Bailey, in another dimension." And I went, "Oh, I hadn't planned on that." Then I thought the only way to solve this, I have to run at my doppelgänger, then we will be fused forever. So I ran full-tilt at it, and just before I got there I realised it was the highly polished side of the cheese counter.Frankie Boyle - On Viagra "Viagra takes half-an-hour to have any effect; I often find in that time the woman has managed to wriggle free
Richard Pryor - Talking about being on fire after an accident while freeb@sing coc@ine "When you're running down the street & you're on fire, people get out of your way!" "A drunk tramp did stop me though to ask for a light."
Bill Hicks - Wouldn't you like to see a positive L S D story on the news? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition?, perhaps? Wouldn't that be interesting? Just for once?
"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration – that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."
Frank Skinner - “A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by its own farts.”
Lee Mack - The Green Party got 8% of the vote in last week's European parliament elections. They would have done better but half their voters put their ballot papers in the recycling bin
Reginald D Hunter - Let me tell you what blasphemy is. It's the idea there's a superior being who can make the mountains, the oceans and the skies, but who still gets upset about something I said. He's an all-powerful being, he's just got self-esteem issues
Stephen K Amos - Christmases were terrible, not like nowadays when kids get everything. My sister got a miniature set of perfumes called Ample. It was tiny, but even I could see where my dad had scraped off the S
I've never seen Julian Barrat do stand-up, will have to check that out! Mighty Boosh is funny!
now that's a story for you!
You seen anyone else?
Bill Bailey is the best I've seen live; Simon Amstell is also hilarious live and you should look around for tour dates near you!
Ross Noble, Michael McIntyre are also up there for me.
i saw harry hill with my old man a few years back. he was surprisingly brilliant. never been a big fan of his tv shows but live...
Al Murray - he was never confused!
Still amazing that he built a TV show around saying FACT HUNT
Quagmire.... let me know when he's playing at your town hall again lol (was that the right one we were talking about that night???) I'll travel up North for that at your chav town lol
You also misssed Ricky Gervais... Ness you watch too much DAVE me thinks!
Bobby Davro - Still to this day mind he was involved in one of THEE funniest tv moments ever - the belly flop on The Games
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years
Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners
I went to the doctor the other day
I said 'have you got anything for wind'
so he gave me a kite
Lol thats quagmire.... giggity giggity goo!!!!
Lol showing your age AND your googling skills there m8!
Enjoy the dave gorman show. I went to see it at the pavillion at glasgow a couple of months back, and it was excellent. Dave does a couple of hours too, so great value.
Ray