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ATTENTION TEAM TIKAY - your leader speaks
Whilst helping out at a charity shop yesterday, I stumbled across some old magazines. I found one called "Professional Pensioner Poker Player Weekly" (PPPPV) dated August 1959. Was amazed to see a featured interview with Tony "luckbox" Kendall!!! Here are some snippets from the article
We at PPPPW find ourselves at Burgundy Fields Retirement Home to interview Tony "Luckbox" Kendall to celebrate his 50 years of playing poker.
PPPPW : Congratulations Tony on 50 years, Whats your secret??
TK: Luck and shove
PPPPW : Its the Home International Poker Challenge this week Tony, wats your views??
TK: Well, quite frankly, everyone knows the scots are a bunch of drunken, skirt-wearing morons, we should rebuild Hadrians Wall. Dont even start me on the Welsh, that lovely young lady Anne Robinson i think has the right views on them. Rebuild Offa's Dyce thats what i say. And as for the Irish?? They cant even count, too busy drinkling Guiness. Should be a walkover.
PPPPW: So your confident Tony?? What about your team-mates???
TK: Hate them all, poker isnt a team game, its individual. I actually have to pretend to be nice to those Scouse thieves, Cockney wide-boys and village idiots from up and down the country.
PPPPW: So is their anything exciting happening in the world of poker Tony??
TK: Oh yes, there's an experiment going on where the best poker players of both sexes are going to breed, hoping to create a supreme poker-gene. Hopefully in a few generations time we should see the birth of a poker legend. Its called Project Orford, we're all very excited about it.
PPPPW : Sounds fascinating Tony, so wats your views on female poker players??
TK : Shouldn't be allowed. A womans place is in the kitchen. I would ban all women from casinos.
PPPPW: Well thank you Tony for some interesting views
TK: Bog off
Well, I was amazed at this article so imagine my horror when visiting my gran at the nursing home when i saw "Professional Pensioner Poker Player Weekly" latest issue with Tikay on the cover!!! i just had to read it
Its been 50 years since we last visited Burgundy Fields Retirement Home, so we at PPPPW have returned to interview Tony Kendall to celebrate 100 years playing poker. On our last visit Tony had some rather "controversial" views, lets see if he's mellowed
PPPPW: Congratulations Tony on 100 years of poker
TK: Call me Tikay
PPPPW: ok Tikay, so its not "luckbox" Kendall anymore??
TK: no , i';m still a luckbox, i just forget my name, can only remember my initials.
PPPPW: Ok Tikay, last time we interviewed you, you had some rather controversial views. Do you still stand by them??
TK: certainly not, my comments were taking out of context (you can print that)
Absolutely, if not more. Hate all those foreigners, Scots, Welsh< irish, Scousers, Geordies,Brummies,Mancs,Cockneys. (dont print that)
PPPPW: errrr ok Tikay. So what about internet poker??
TK: Dont get me started on that. All these young hotshots playing with a mouse!! When i was young the only thing we did with mice was cut off their tails. My spare time was playing with my train set. Did i ever show you my Triang Hornby RS61 Old Smokey Trainset..??? Kids today pahhh. Bring back National Service and the birch I say. For all under 50.
PPPPV: Howz your own career going?? And Skypoker?
TK: Its going ok, I have to play a weekly team tournament, you know i hate my team-mates, have to carry them on my shoulders. Useless the lot of them
PPPPW: Last time we spoke you were excited about a poker gene program, how's that progressing??
TK: ohhh that was a great success. We're into the 4th generation, got a cracking young poker prodigy named Rich Orford, he's going to be a legend in the poker world mark my words
At which point in the interview tikay falls asleep and a rather fetching (although scantily-dressed) nurse with a badge saying "Lisa-Marie" comes in.
PPPPW: Well Tony, thanks for the interview and your certainly well-looked after here
TK: The nurse?? Her??? She's useless. Everyone knows I prefer a bit of blonde. Now where's she gone?? Michelle?? Michelle???
So there you go team tikay, Thats what your leader thinks of you
PPPPW does not take any responsibilty for these articles
We at PPPPW find ourselves at Burgundy Fields Retirement Home to interview Tony "Luckbox" Kendall to celebrate his 50 years of playing poker.
PPPPW : Congratulations Tony on 50 years, Whats your secret??
TK: Luck and shove
PPPPW : Its the Home International Poker Challenge this week Tony, wats your views??
TK: Well, quite frankly, everyone knows the scots are a bunch of drunken, skirt-wearing morons, we should rebuild Hadrians Wall. Dont even start me on the Welsh, that lovely young lady Anne Robinson i think has the right views on them. Rebuild Offa's Dyce thats what i say. And as for the Irish?? They cant even count, too busy drinkling Guiness. Should be a walkover.
PPPPW: So your confident Tony?? What about your team-mates???
TK: Hate them all, poker isnt a team game, its individual. I actually have to pretend to be nice to those Scouse thieves, Cockney wide-boys and village idiots from up and down the country.
PPPPW: So is their anything exciting happening in the world of poker Tony??
TK: Oh yes, there's an experiment going on where the best poker players of both sexes are going to breed, hoping to create a supreme poker-gene. Hopefully in a few generations time we should see the birth of a poker legend. Its called Project Orford, we're all very excited about it.
PPPPW : Sounds fascinating Tony, so wats your views on female poker players??
TK : Shouldn't be allowed. A womans place is in the kitchen. I would ban all women from casinos.
PPPPW: Well thank you Tony for some interesting views
TK: Bog off
Well, I was amazed at this article so imagine my horror when visiting my gran at the nursing home when i saw "Professional Pensioner Poker Player Weekly" latest issue with Tikay on the cover!!! i just had to read it
Its been 50 years since we last visited Burgundy Fields Retirement Home, so we at PPPPW have returned to interview Tony Kendall to celebrate 100 years playing poker. On our last visit Tony had some rather "controversial" views, lets see if he's mellowed
PPPPW: Congratulations Tony on 100 years of poker
TK: Call me Tikay
PPPPW: ok Tikay, so its not "luckbox" Kendall anymore??
TK: no , i';m still a luckbox, i just forget my name, can only remember my initials.
PPPPW: Ok Tikay, last time we interviewed you, you had some rather controversial views. Do you still stand by them??
TK: certainly not, my comments were taking out of context (you can print that)
Absolutely, if not more. Hate all those foreigners, Scots, Welsh< irish, Scousers, Geordies,Brummies,Mancs,Cockneys. (dont print that)
PPPPW: errrr ok Tikay. So what about internet poker??
TK: Dont get me started on that. All these young hotshots playing with a mouse!! When i was young the only thing we did with mice was cut off their tails. My spare time was playing with my train set. Did i ever show you my Triang Hornby RS61 Old Smokey Trainset..??? Kids today pahhh. Bring back National Service and the birch I say. For all under 50.
PPPPV: Howz your own career going?? And Skypoker?
TK: Its going ok, I have to play a weekly team tournament, you know i hate my team-mates, have to carry them on my shoulders. Useless the lot of them
PPPPW: Last time we spoke you were excited about a poker gene program, how's that progressing??
TK: ohhh that was a great success. We're into the 4th generation, got a cracking young poker prodigy named Rich Orford, he's going to be a legend in the poker world mark my words
At which point in the interview tikay falls asleep and a rather fetching (although scantily-dressed) nurse with a badge saying "Lisa-Marie" comes in.
PPPPW: Well Tony, thanks for the interview and your certainly well-looked after here
TK: The nurse?? Her??? She's useless. Everyone knows I prefer a bit of blonde. Now where's she gone?? Michelle?? Michelle???
So there you go team tikay, Thats what your leader thinks of you
PPPPW does not take any responsibilty for these articles
Comments
For that reason, I am suspicious of the authenticity of this article.
Absolutely 1st class JAEGERBOMB im still wettin myself as i type.If RICH ever hangs up his poker gloves in the future you should defo become our new leader.10/10
Not in the LEAST funny. I'm certainly not laughing. Nor will you Orford-ers be laughing when you go 2-0 down on Tuesday.
Never wise to tug the tail of the tiger, you know.
PS - Wonderful stuff Bomber. I stilll can't believe you were so daft as to select Team Orford. Was it an aberration?
See you Tuesday.
Also remember, its not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog!! And whilst Team Orford are a slight underdog at the moment we still have plenty of fight left!!
Ps I notice you did not refute the allegations made in the articles!! must be a hint of truth lol.
I am brain-washed in Project Orford I'm afraid Tikay, just a few minor hitches need sorting