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Poker Limericks

VespaPXVespaPX
edited October 2013 in Poker Chat
Just a bit of fun for the weekend.


There is a young (ish) man called Dohhh
Who likes to play HU Sit n Go
He likes to give advice
Which for the community is all very nice
I wonder, if like Lambert , he'll go Pro

Add your own :-)
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Comments

  • BorinLonerBorinLoner
    edited October 2013
    Doesn't scan properly. ;)


    I'm currently looking for rhyming words for hhyftrftdr... It's tough going so far.
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  • TeddyBloatTeddyBloat
    edited October 2013
    someone's got to lower the tone, may as well be me

    i'll set the bar pretty low, lets see who can crawl under it...

    SARAH, ANNA AND TIKAY,
    ONCE PLAYED STRIP-POKER THREE-WAY,
    WITH NO IFS OR BUTS,
    HE SHOWED HIS FLOPPED NUTS,
    NOT A SCENE YOU'D EVER WANT TO REPLAY

    Cheers,
    TEDDY


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  • churchy18churchy18
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    someone's got to lower the tone, may as well be me i'll set the bar pretty low, lets see who can crawl under it... SARAH, ANNA AND TIKAY, ONCE PLAYED STRIP-POKER THREE-WAY, WITH NO IFS OR BUTS, HE SHOWED HIS FLOPPED NUTS, NOT A SCENE YOU'D EVER WANT TO REPLAY Cheers, TEDDY
    Posted by TeddyBloat
    like that 1 :@)
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  • SlipwaterSlipwater
    edited October 2013
    I raised him three times the big blind
    With not much of my chips left behind
    I was repping real strong
    And his call was just wrong
    But with aces, I don't really mind

    :)
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  • VespaPXVespaPX
    edited October 2013
    Bad beat after Bad beat
    Someones gotta take the heat
    It might be you
    Or could be me too
    Just reload and take your seat
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  • david666david666
    edited October 2013
    Poker is not for me,
    I think you will all agree,
    Im too fond of the drink,
    But let me think, 
    I can do both at the SPT.
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    someone's got to lower the tone, may as well be me i'll set the bar pretty low, lets see who can crawl under it... SARAH, ANNA AND TIKAY, ONCE PLAYED STRIP-POKER THREE-WAY, WITH NO IFS OR BUTS, HE SHOWED HIS FLOPPED NUTS, NOT A SCENE YOU'D EVER WANT TO REPLAY Cheers, TEDDY
    Posted by TeddyBloat
    +2 very good
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  • paige55paige55
    edited October 2013
    there was a girl named paige, who did not follow the page,she read and she read,but it hurt her head,now she no longer followers the paige :():):)
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  • paige55paige55
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    Doesn't scan properly. ;) I'm currently looking for rhyming words for hhyftrftdr... It's tough going so far.
    Posted by BorinLoner
    hhyftrfdr went a hhftr he gave up, when he went to the shop to buy some hhft,the shop keeper gave up, it was to much just stop with the hhyftrftdr :):):) just ask and chips i will give no hhyftrfdr do i ask
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  • TeddyBloatTeddyBloat
    edited October 2013
    Paige, you are boss.

    Cheers, 
    TEDDY
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  • SlipwaterSlipwater
    edited October 2013
    I once met a player called hhyftrftdr
    Who told me to fold my fhyhrrdtf
    I opened rftdhyhfr
    He shoved his yhrffdth
    I folded and he showed his dftyhrfr
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  • a00rocka00rock
    edited October 2013
    There was a young fellow called Ray
    Who thought he'd play poker one day
    He loaded the chips
    He lost many flips
    He now needs a sub just to play.  ☺
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited October 2013
    For the conspiratory theorists out there,
    Who play Sky Poker whilst tearing their hair,
    Variance in cards, 
    For all, even retards,
    Can leave your bankroll looking threadbare.

    Three aces were turned on the flop,
    With one in my hand i'm on top,
    My chips go all in,
    Oppo's in it to win,
    Sky rivers Royal flush, not fair cop.
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  • Ice_TigerIce_Tiger
    edited October 2013
    The Presenters comp was all set
    Tats & James were both a good bet
    Anna & Jules
    Were nobody's fools
    Sarah & Orford just met

    The blinds started quite small
    James was standing quite tall
    He talked movies too much
    He just lost his touch
    And soon he went for a fall

    Jules was small & so sweet
    She had only just found her feet
    She shoved on a draw
    The outcome was poor
    And she had to vacate her seat

    Anna's stack got quite short
    Then an Ace King she caught
    Orford called with his twos
    He had little to lose
    For Anna, her fight had been fought

    So that left us with three
    Agression now would be key
    Tatty & Sarah
    And Black shirt wearer
    To who the winner should be

    Then we are caught on the hop
    When sweet Tats is next for the chop
    A raise by Tats
    And Orford flats
    But hits a set on the flop

    They have a short break for dinner
    Sarah the saint & Richard the sinner
    Who'd be supreme
    The music queen
    Or the Leeds side event winner

    Rich was getting quite whacked
    And losing chips was a fact
    She 3bet all in
    He folded again
    And Sarah was very well stacked

    He raised with 66, which is fair
    She called her big blind with a stare
    He shoved 754
    And met with a call
    Cos Sarah had a big pair

    Orford called for an 8
    A queen for Sarah was great
    An Ace, Sarah swears
    Orford declares
    You only need four for a straight

    Jules & Anna started to stamp 
    The Lady wasn't a tramp
    James had great heart
    Rich fell apart
    And Sarah is SKY Poker Champ(ion)
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  • TeddyBloatTeddyBloat
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    The Presenters comp was all set Tats & James were both a good bet Anna & Jules Were nobody's fools Sarah & Orford just met The blinds started quite small James was standing quite tall He talked movies too much He just lost his touch And soon he went for a fall Jules was small & so sweet She had only just found her feet She shoved on a draw The outcome was poor And she had to vacate her seat Anna's stack got quite short Then an Ace King she caught Orford called with his twos He had little to lose For Anna, her fight had been fought So that left us with three Agression now would be key Tatty & Sarah And Black shirt wearer To who the winner should be Then we are caught on the hop When sweet Tats is next for the chop A raise by Tats And Orford flats But hits a set on the flop They have a short break for dinner Sarah the saint & Richard the sinner Who'd be supreme The music queen Or the Leeds side event winner Rich was getting quite whacked And losing chips was a fact She 3bet all in He folded again And Sarah was very well stacked He raised with 66, which is fair She called her big blind with a stare He shoved 754 And met with a call Cos Sarah had a big pair Orford called for an 8 A queen for Sarah was great An Ace, Sarah swears Orford declares You only need four for a straight Jules & Anna started to stamp  The Lady wasn't a tramp James had great heart Rich fell apart And Sarah is SKY Poker Champ(ion)
    Posted by Ice_Tiger


    Haha, amazing!

    The orford-straight got a genuine lol.

    Wp

    Cheers, 
    TEDDY

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  • a00rocka00rock
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks : Haha, amazing! The orford-straight got a genuine lol. Wp Cheers,  TEDDY
    Posted by TeddyBloat
    +1 Sarah being well stacked and having a big pair had me lol-in.
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  • Ice_TigerIce_Tiger
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks : +1 Sarah being well stacked and having a big pair had me lol-in.
    Posted by a00rock
    Oh yeah, hadn't realised

    ;)
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  • oynutteroynutter
    edited October 2013
    There once was a Richard called Orford

    Played poker decidedly awkward

    His suit was quite nice

    But his face like creamed rice

    And his brain came from near Bishop stortford
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited October 2013
    There was a young man from Oldham
    who liked to play texas holdem

    he multi table all night
    till his eye's weren't quite right

    and he ended up going specksavers .....
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  • oynutteroynutter
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    There was a young man from Oldham who liked to play texas holdem he multi table all night till his eye's weren't quite right and he ended up going specksavers .....
    Posted by tomo_efc

     There was a young fellow called Tomo

    Who knew not today from tomorrow

    He stayed up all night

    But losing his sight

    Had Everton only to follow

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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks :  There was young fellow called Tomo Who knew not today from tomorrow He stayed up all night But losing his sight Had Everton only to follow
    Posted by oynutter
    Nice one m8  ..lol.. and thanks for the YOUNG....
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited October 2013
    Been sat at the tables losing wonga
    decision time, to stay a little longer?
    At last a premium hand that made me shiver
    that is trashed on turn and river
    Please Explain! how does variance make you stronger?
    lol

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  • oynutteroynutter
    edited October 2013
    There once was a Limerick in Whitstable

    The first line had too many syllables

    The second was good

    But most people would

    Think, this man is not so invincible
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  • oynutteroynutter
    edited October 2013
    There once was a bloke who was bluffy

    He had 2-J off against Duffy

    Neil Channing said "gosh"

    "That geezer ain't posh"

    "The stain on his trousers is scruffy"
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  • VespaPXVespaPX
    edited October 2013
    Poker Limericks is a thread that i started
    Just for fun and a little light hearted
    Some contributions have been sublime
    Others don't even rhyme
    Well done all, much appreciated
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  • oynutteroynutter
    edited October 2013
    There once was a geezer called Vespa

     the salt of the earth, and the pepper

    He looked for a laugh

     and found it by half

    so it's a shame my one rhyme is a leper
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  • SlipwaterSlipwater
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    Poker Limericks is a thread that i started Just for fun and a little light hearted Some contributions have been sublime Others don't even rhyme Well done all, much appreciated
    Posted by VespaPX
    Very good, Vespa, and you're right - some of them are shocking! ;)
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  • oynutteroynutter
    edited October 2013
    There once was bloke called Slipwater

    Who lived right up North, like he oughtta

    He read all our verse

    and said with a curse

    "Shocking"-- are we bovvered?--well--sort a
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  • SlipwaterSlipwater
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    There once was bloke called Slipwater Who lived right up North, like he oughtta He read all our verse and said with a curse "Shocking"-- are we bovvered?--well--sort a
    Posted by oynutter
    Haha - not bad indeed ;)
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  • VespaPXVespaPX
    edited October 2013
    Oh oynutter oynutter
    How we marvel at the words that you utter
    Your delicate prose
    Must take an age to compose
    If i were a lady you would make my heart go a-flutter
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