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Dear Diedre (Pu)

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  • BlackFish3BlackFish3
    edited February 2010
    In Response to Re: Dear Diedre (Pu):
    I trust this will be confidential. I have recently come in for some ribbing regarding my new hair-do. Certain members of this forum have gone out of their way to make disparaging comments about it, and some have even suggested that it's not my own hair (although I don't know how they can tell). I'm only a small dog and all this has caused me great pain and anguish. I feel that I should change my hair-do for something less suave and flattering. What are your thoughts Deirdre? Should I say hang-em all and carry on, or should I de-rug, I need a quick answer because I got it in the CarpetRight sale and it ends on Sunday if I want to return it and get a refund.
    Posted by elsadog
    new hair looks c rap elsa
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited February 2010
    You know I normally like little children but if you say bad things to me I WILL come under your table and pee all over your legs.
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  • TRIP5TRIP5
    edited February 2010
    Dear Deidre-Pu,

    My boyfriend and I have been saving our poker winnings for months to turn our quaint home into an illegal and illicit gambling establishment but last night he asked me if I would let him give me a pearl necklace.

    Obviously I'm flattered and if we weren't saving every penny for our own house-of-disrepute I'd say yes in an instant, but i feel guilty accepting it at the moment.

    What should I do?
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  • Mr_MiyagiMr_Miyagi
    edited February 2010
    In Response to Re: Dear Diedre (Pu):
    Dear Deidre-Pu, My boyfriend and I have been saving our poker winnings for months to turn our quaint home into an illegal and illicit gambling establishment but last night he asked me if I would let him give me a pearl necklace. Obviously I'm flattered and if we weren't saving every penny for our own house-of-disrepute I'd say yes in an instant, but i feel guilty accepting it at the moment. What should I do?
    Posted by TRIP5
    Obvious soloution here, tell him to use a little bit of the money to buy something which you can both enjoy.

    I suggest an*l beads.
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited February 2010
    Dear Trips

    Looks like Mr Miyagi has this one nailed, and i'd strongly recommend the beads

    Be careful with the necklace through, i gave my gf one once and she got a terrible rash

    Hope the advice helps

    Pu
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  • AIRWALKERAIRWALKER
    edited February 2010
    In Response to Re: Dear Diedre (Pu):
    In Response to Re: Dear Diedre (Pu) : Dear AIRWALKER I know how tricky this can be when someones famous and everyone wants them, but if your really have to let her down you have to let her down gently, the usual "its me not you" works best or "i just value you as a friend to much" last resort "i love you like a brother". I for one will be feeling sorry for this lady but i'm sure Susan Boyle will soon find another man and get over you easy, so don't panic friend GL with it and hope the advice helps Pu  
    Posted by HuFlungPu
    Thanks mate. I,dont know how you worked out who it was, you are a genius.

    I think i will try the 'brother' angle that you suggested. Fingers crossed and thanks once again.

    Airwalker
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited February 2010
    No problem

    Any more problems don't be afraid to ask

    No subject is off limits here
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited February 2010
    yeah can we go now bin sitting here for days now he said we could go but i said the man has,nt said we can go but he said dunna be so daft cause we can go but i said no he has,nt said we can go....soooo can we go
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited February 2010
    In Response to Re: Dear Diedre (Pu):
    yeah can we go now bin sitting here for days now he said we could go but i said the man has,nt said we can go but he said dunna be so daft cause we can go but i said no he has,nt said we can go....soooo can we go
    Posted by stokefc
    Looks like you no longer need advice but maybe a bed (the sort with rails either side)

    I hear that there is still beds available in Area51 ( i heard deadluck is there too , i'm sure you get on great)

    Sorry i couldn't help you any further

    Pu
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  • _Woof__Woof_
    edited February 2010
    Hello Pu,

    You don't know me but I'm elsadog's Mum.

    My problem is that I play home games of poker with elsa. We don't play for money as elsa has none, but we do play for chocolates. So far I am down - 2 boxes of Roses and 3 packets of Maltesers. Do you think elsa cheats? As I don't really know the rules I have to trust what elsa tells me regarding which hand won and lost. I started to get suspicious when elsa explained that it was dependent on which day of the week it was as to which hand won.
    Am I right to be suspicious, or am I just a lousy poker player.
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited February 2010
    Dear _Woof_

    Elsadog isn't lying about certain hands winning on certain days of the week, for example i always go all in with JJ on a Tuesday but il always fold them on a Friday or Sunday and 33 always wins on a Wednesday, and as far as i know this is the rules on every site and every B&M game

    I'm a bit concerned that your playing for chocolate though(didn't you know chocolate is bad for a dog?)

    I'v had some experience with elsadog and i think you will be able to put that mutt on tilt much easier if you play for crumpets

    Let me know how you get on and never buy them cheap crumpets (they taste proper bad) oh and its got to be real butter no marg

    Gl woofy

    Pu

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  • Mr_MiyagiMr_Miyagi
    edited March 2010
    Dear Pu

    As it is the 1st of the month I was doing my normal inspection standing naked infront of the mirror looking for any new spots, lumps, rashes, holes or anything else when at a angle I saw that I was starting to develop MOOBS!

    I arent sure whether it is because of the fact I have been playing poker 9 hours a day 7 days a week for the past month and not watching Aerobics Oz Style or because I mistakenly took 6 of my mothers HRT pills thinking they were Asprin.

    Whatever it is, I know one thing. Nobody likes a guy with moobs! Please help me! How can I get rid of them?


    Yours desperately
    Miyagi
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited March 2010
    In Response to Re: Dear Diedre (Pu):
    Dear Pu As it is the 1st of the month I was doing my normal inspection standing naked infront of the mirror looking for any new spots, lumps, rashes, holes or anything else when at a angle I saw that I was starting to develop MOOBS! I arent sure whether it is because of the fact I have been playing poker 9 hours a day 7 days a week for the past month and not watching Aerobics Oz Style or because I mistakenly took 6 of my mothers HRT pills thinking they were Asprin. Whatever it is, I know one thing. Nobody likes a guy with moobs! Please help me! How can I get rid of them? Yours desperately Miyagi
    Posted by Mr_Miyagi
    I would wait and see what else develops......... you might soon be sitting on a fortune.
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  • Mr_MiyagiMr_Miyagi
    edited March 2010
    have you see how much bras cost lately?
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited March 2010
    Dear Miyagi

    First off ...how big are these Moobs?, have they got good shape or are they saggy flopstas?, have you got a hairy chest?. All these questions need to be answered before i can suggest getting a bra and being proud of them or getting jogging and burning them excess Moobs away (personally i don't mind Moobs as long as you got a nice thin waist and a pretty face)

    I had an Uncle that had moobs and he is now an Extra in Holby City so it can lead to great things

    Hope my advice gives you hope

    all the best

    Pu


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  • Mr_MiyagiMr_Miyagi
    edited March 2010
    Sorry for not giving enough detail, I was pretty hysterical and so scared I was not thinking clearly.

    They are both different shapes, the left is pretty full and firm and is a real handfull. The right is slightly smaller saggy and softer to the touch.

    I am a 46 waist but generally well proportioned apart from the moobs of course.

    And no hair at all, completely waxed.
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited March 2010
    Well....not only have you got moobs but you also got that ACDC problem ( i had a gf with this and we split up in the end cause i only wanted to touch the big one) :(

    Moobs and a waxed head are never good so i can only suggest doing some weights/running and sit ups (could be hard with that 46waist, but you can only give it a go

    GL

    Pu

    (maybe posting a picture might help)
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited March 2010
    Dear Pu.

    In my business I think the way you dress is very important and I think looking smart makes a good impression, so I always wear a suit to work. This has proved to be very successful in my business so I thought I would take it a little further. I started wearing a suit to go to social events and my friends were always very impressed, however, when I was ready to take it to the next level I didn't quite get the same results.

    Do you think I am taking it a little far when I wear a suit to bed? I thought looking my best would impress my wife in the romance department, however, she doesn't seem so keen.

    Do you think it would help if I dressed down a little? I was thinking of trying it without wearing the Tie, but I'm not sure she will take me seriously.

    Can You Help?

    Pokertrev
    (Official Suit)
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited March 2010
    Dear Trev

    Wearing the suit to bed is a bad idea. First off you sweat loads in the night so the suit will start to proper pong after a few days. You should either just wear some nice tight silky boxer shorts which im sure the wifey will love or go 100% naked( this is my choice but risky if you wake up in shock needing to chase burglars down the road)

    Iv also found a lovely pair of pyjamas which i think you would look very handsome in



    Or



    Personally i think you would look sexiest in that silk number

    hope the advice helps

    GL

    PU

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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited March 2010
    I feel nauseous.









    Neither of them has a pocket handkerchief.
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  • AIRWALKERAIRWALKER
    edited March 2010
    In Response to Re: Dear Diedre (Pu):
    I feel nauseous. Neither of them has a pocket handkerchief.
    Posted by elsadog
    You look a bit like a funky pyjama case els.
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  • StuJohnsStuJohns
    edited March 2010
    Dear Pu

    ( Please note Pu/Deidrie/claire rayner or whoever you are, that the following problem I'm writing about isn't really true at all but just made up in a desperate "cry for help" hope that I'll get to see my name printed in a national newspaper...seeing as Points of View have ignored me up to now. )

    I have developed some rather worrying nervous reactions to certain cards, when playing poker around a table with some friends. I feel that these reactions are telling my opponents too much, they are getting used to the signs.
    For instance, if I am dealt an Ace in my pocket cards I always seem to sneeze involuntarily. If I am dealt a Queen I can't help but belch loudly. ( It stands to reason that my opponents can always tell if I have AQ! )
    A King in my pocket cards causes me to break wind, and if I pick up KK, the room often has to be evacuated for 5 minutes.
    A Jack always compels me to pour my can of beer over the person sitting immediately to my right, and a 7 of spades has me rushing to an open window and screaming for the police at the top of my voice.
    The result of all this is that I always lose, pick up the odd black eye from the guy sitting to my right, and occasionally being charged for wasting police time.
    Please Help!
    StuJohns.
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited March 2010
    Dear StuJohns


    What are you eating before you enter these live games?
    Baked Beans, Cabbage and Sprouts are a no no

    Sounds to me like your just a dribbling,farting, sneezing mess at the poker tables and its not surprising your getting the odd black eye.I'd stick to online poker and go see your local GP regarding the KK(are you sure your not soiling yourself?)

    Personally i find a fart funny as long as it don't stink and your not holding me down doing it in my face

    Hope the advice helps and please do see a GP if the farting get worse

    GL

    PU
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  • StuJohnsStuJohns
    edited March 2010
    In Response to Re: Dear Diedre (Pu):
    Dear StuJohns What are you eating before you enter these live games? Baked Beans, Cabbage and Sprouts are a no no Sounds to me like your just a dribbling,farting, sneezing mess at the poker tables and its not surprising your getting the odd black eye.I'd stick to online poker and go see your local GP regarding the KK(are you sure your not soiling yourself?) Personally i find a fart funny as long as it don't stink and your not holding me down doing it in my face Hope the advice helps and please do see a GP if the farting get worse GL PU
    Posted by HuFlungPu
    Many thanks Deidrie. Actually, since sending you that letter, things got even worse. I made the mistake of playing 5 card draw one night, picked up a quad of Kings and ..... er.... well, I don't even want to talk about what happened!
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited March 2010
    Been a bit busy last few days waxing my back,sack and crack but am now back in the agony office 

    (come on Blackfish i know you must have some stuff to ask, i really think i can help you)
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  • Mr_MiyagiMr_Miyagi
    edited April 2010
    :o Havn't seen StuJohns around since.

    could your advice have killed him Pu?
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited April 2010
    Dear STEVEMAX

    Facebook can be a pain sometimes and with this not being a question about limpness, a rash, lump, lack of confidence or a farting im not sure what advice to give apart from

    Msg's

    Inbox

    Refresh, Refresh 

    Ctrl F5

    Ctrl F5


    GL 

    PU
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  • DOHHHHHHHDOHHHHHHH
    edited April 2010

    Dear Dierdrie (PU),

    I have a problem with drink. It isnt the normal problem, which Im sure you have come cross many times. 

    I cannot play poker without it. My play is too passive, and I get bored, which leads to mistakes. I counter this problem, by drinking everytime I play, however, when I start, I lose until I have had at least a few cans. This means Im behind before I really get started. 

    I then move into the "zone"  - as I reach the "happily drunk" stage, go through this, into the "properly drunk" stage, and continue to dominate even when I reach the "absolutely bladdered" stage. By this point I have usually won back what I lost sober, plus alot more, putting me well up for the night. 

    However, the next stage, is "legless". Its at this point, generally between 5am and 7am, depending on the start time, that I begin to spew away profits, and it takes me a while to realise Ive hit this stage, and decide to go to bed. So if I could sort out the first 2 hours and last 2 hours of a 10 hour session, I would make alot more money :(

    Help me.

    Also, I arranged a 7 deuce, biggest bluff, last longer bet with a monkey about 17 years ago, and he hasn't turned up for it yet. Should I give up on him and move on.

    Thanx in advance, DOHH
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited April 2010
    In Response to Re: Dear Diedre (Pu):
    :o Havn't seen StuJohns around since. could your advice have killed him Pu?
    Posted by Mr_Miyagi

    Hope not , but now you have pointed it out im very concerned he maybe soiled himself at a live game and upset someone he shouldnt have.

    Please release StuJohns!! :-/

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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited April 2010
    In Response to Re: Dear Diedre (Pu):
    Dear Dierdrie (PU), I have a problem with drink. It isnt the normal problem, which Im sure you have come cross many times.  I cannot play poker without it. My play is too passive, and I get bored, which leads to mistakes. I counter this problem, by drinking everytime I play, however, when I start, I lose until I have had at least a few cans. This means Im behind before I really get started.  I then move into the "zone"  - as I reach the "happily drunk" stage, go through this, into the "properly drunk" stage, and continue to dominate even when I reach the "absolutely bladdered" stage. By this point I have usually won back what I lost sober, plus alot more, putting me well up for the night.  However, the next stage, is "legless". Its at this point, generally between 5am and 7am, depending on the start time, that I begin to spew away profits, and it takes me a while to realise Ive hit this stage, and decide to go to bed. So if I could sort out the first 2 hours and last 2 hours of a 10 hour session, I would make alot more money :( Help me. Also, I arranged a 7 deuce, biggest bluff, last longer bet with a monkey about 17 years ago, and he hasn't turned up for it yet. Should I give up on him and move on. Thanx in advance, DOHH
    Posted by DOHHHHHHH

    Dear DOHHHHHHH

    Drinking while playing isnt always a bad thing, i often have a drink and play with myself also which i suspect you do a lot too

    You need to play high stakes poker when your happy drunk and move onto DYM with Blackfish3 when your bladdered or there is always the 2/4p which i know you would love

    Regarding the 7-2 super buff bluff you had with monkey its still on the table and next time we enter the same mtt im going to make you cry like a little girl thats lost her new barbie doll outfit!!

    GL

    PU

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