I hate trains

LmfaoAllin

A man recently flew from Newcastle to somewhere in Spain, had a nice bit of tapas and sangria then flew on to to London. The point of this exercise was to highlight the extortionate prices charged for rail fare in the uk, he managed to do the above for less than a train ticket from Newcastle to London.

So, anyone heading from Bristol way to Manchester on Friday, chips on the petrol obv.

unknown_username

you,ve done it now with the title of the op tikay will be all over it..The Mallard was a good train

Tikay10

Outrageous thread title.

Mods, ban plz.

jdsallstar

I love the trains here in NI, never more than 1 or 2 minutes late, always plenty of seats and 60 quid for my monthly ticket.....can't beat it. Only thing that sucks is their free wifi which goes slower than an asthmatic snail.

craigcu12

theirs always coaches. My coach far will be is 30% cheaper and the journey itself 200% longer. If that journey time is too much their's always the taxi. 

Darkangel7

well played james 

Tikay10

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

you,ve done it now with the title of the op tikay will be all over it..The Mallard was a good train
Posted by stokefc

What?

Mallard was a locomotive not a train.

Please tell me you know the difference? 

Essexphil

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : What? Mallard was a locomotive not a train. Please tell me you know the difference?  
Posted by Tikay10

If not, he could always see a training video

unknown_username

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : What? Mallard was a locomotive not a train. Please tell me you know the difference?  
Posted by Tikay10

huh..erm..if im honest , no . i didn,t , i knew it was a steam tra.. locomotive and it rode on two rails which i call train tracks

Enut

Waiting for H to post that he has researched it and the cheapest way to get from Bristol to Newcastle is to catch a flight via Somalia.

NoseyBonk

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : What? Mallard was a locomotive not a train. Please tell me you know the difference?  
Posted by Tikay10

It is a duck not a locomotive

unknown_username

am guessing the train is pulled by the locomotive , i should know this coming from a mining town me dad used to tell us when we were kids often enough

Edit:ive just qualified for my 1st ME this year through a 1.60 sat whoop

LmfaoAllin

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

you,ve done it now with the title of the op tikay will be all over it..The Mallard was a good train
Posted by stokefc

Whoops, completely slipped my mind that the headline may cause offence to a certain individual ;p

We both made the main event tonight via the sat route, you thoroughly thrashed me in both, finishing just above me in the sat, and a few hundred spots above me in the main.

Vwp, cracking result making the ft with a tidy £400 for your troubles. Very pleased for you Stokey.

LmfaoAllin

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

Outrageous thread title. Mods, ban plz.
Posted by Tikay10

Click bait ftw

Although, I think focusing on annoying you with the title, rather than a fitting one that conveys the content, has backfired on me somewhat, no offers as yet.

LmfaoAllin

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

I love the trains here in NI, never more than 1 or 2 minutes late, always plenty of seats and 60 quid for my monthly ticket.....can't beat it. Only thing that sucks is their free wifi which goes slower than an asthmatic snail.
Posted by jdsallstar

Haha, great analogy. 

I imagine that description is fairly apt for hhy on his last European away day, attempting to escape the clutches of some Dynamo Kyiv ultras who took a fancy to his scarf.

I don't mind travelling by train, in fact its rather favourable, its just the price I begrudge.

LmfaoAllin

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

theirs always coaches. My coach far will be is 30% cheaper and the journey itself 200% longer. If that journey time is too much their's always the taxi. 
Posted by craigcu12

Thanks Craig, yes coaches are great value.

In my mid teens I spent a few summers with a mate doing some work for his dad in London, we would get return tickets from Carmarthen > London on the national express for under a £10, bargain!

Not sure if im fit enough, or have the nerve, to do a runner from a taxi nowadays though. Certainly couldn't part with the cash they would want for that trip, the bu!!ers charge me £10 just to get into town.

Tikay10

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : Whoops, completely slipped my mind that the headline may cause offence to a certain individual ;p We both made the main event tonight via the sat route, you thoroughly thrashed me in both, finishing just above me in the sat, and a few hundred spots above me in the main. Vwp, cracking result making the ft with a tidy £400 for your troubles. Very pleased for you Stokey.
Posted by LmfaoAllin

Stokey made a Final Table?

You sure?

Bloke does not even know the difference between a train & a locomotive.

Tikay10

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : It is a duck not a locomotive
Posted by NoseyBonk

Is true, & what is more, the Mallard is a quite extraordinary breed of duck.

Those of a nervous disposition should look away now, but.....

A male Mallard is perhaps the most "hungry" animal or bird on earth, & by hungry I don't mean food. Their sexual appetite is insatiable, & they will copulate with anything that moves, in fact anything that does NOT move, too.

Any female Mallard is "game" (pardon the pun), & groups of male Mallards will carry out gang r-ape (hyphen due to swear filter)  of any passing female Mallard. They even do it do dead Mallards, they can't help themselves.
 
All of which is mildly interesting or amusing, but there's  serious side to it, too. Mallards don't restrict their sexual activities to other Mallards, they will jump on ANY breed of dabbling duck. Now this is a serious problem. Mallards are present right across the globe (except, I think, Asia), & Wiki says this;


"....Mallards are causing severe "genetic pollution" to South Africa's biodiversity by breeding with endemic ducks^[ even though the Agreement on the Conservation of African-Eurasian Migratory Waterbirds–an agreement to protect the local waterfowl populations–applies to the mallard as well as other ducks. The hybrids of mallards and the yellow-billed duck are fertile, capable of producing hybrid offspring. If this continues, only hybrids will occur and in the long term will result in the extinction of various indigenous waterfowl. The mallard duck can cross breed with 63 other species, posing a severe threat to indigenous waterfowl's genetic integrity. Mallards and their hybrids compete with indigenous birds for resources, including nest sites, roosting sites, and food...."

So what is happening, globally, is that numerous species of duck, (mainly dabbling ducks) are now "hybrid" and as a result, the pure species are in danger of extinction.
 
Isn't that fascinating?

 

Tikay10

In Response to I hate trains:

A man recently flew from Newcastle to somewhere in Spain, had a nice bit of tapas and sangria then flew on to to London. The point of this exercise was to highlight the extortionate prices charged for rail fare in the uk, he managed to do the above for less than a train ticket from Newcastle to London. So, anyone heading from Bristol way to Manchester on Friday, chips on the petrol obv.
Posted by LmfaoAllin

See HERE

unknown_username

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : Whoops, completely slipped my mind that the headline may cause offence to a certain individual ;p We both made the main event tonight via the sat route, you thoroughly thrashed me in both, finishing just above me in the sat, and a few hundred spots above me in the main. Vwp, cracking result making the ft with a tidy £400 for your troubles. Very pleased for you Stokey.
Posted by LmfaoAllin

Thanks mate just woke up and realised i got me spending money for me holiday to thassos in a week or so, I really wanted to win it I've never won a main event in all the years I've played on sky and I will die a happy man if it ever happens 

Run golden in Manchester L m f ao. I'm just gonna do the locomotion around me living room with the wife and kids ����

Itsover4u

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : Thanks mate just woke up and realised i got me spending money for me holiday to thassos in a week or so, I really wanted to win it I've never won a main event in all the years I've played on sky and I will die a happy man if it ever happens  Run golden in Manchester L m f ao. I'm just gonna do the locomotion around me living room with the wife and kids ����
Posted by stokefc

You were playing well from what I saw stokey maybe just a tad aggressive with the all ins at final table. I would post some hands in the tournament strategy section if I was you and you will be winning them in no time. 

Great result from a satty 

HENDRIK62

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : Thanks Craig, yes coaches are great value. In my mid teens I spent a few summers with a mate doing some work for his dad in London, we would get return tickets from Carmarthen /> London on the national express for under a £10, bargain! Not sure if im fit enough, or have the nerve, to do a runner from a taxi nowadays though. Certainly couldn't part with the cash they would want for that trip, the bu!!ers charge me £10 just to get into town.
Posted by LmfaoAllin

i once took a bus from Glasgow to London.......the nut worst night of my life.

In fact I'd rather listen to Jon and Jac talk football than ever take that journey again.

MP33

Me too

Got a train from Preston to Macclesfield yesterday. 

Over 50% off the trains were delayed. (no particular reason)  Ours was delayed due to having to stop off for toliet breaks as they wern,t working.

Then missed the connection at Piccadilly and arrived in Macc over an hour late. Then had to stand up most off the way back which seems pretty standard nowadays . Yet first class was empty apart from 2 people passed out drunk .

There was a peice on watchdog the other night about the cleanliness ( or lack of it) on different train services and was pretty disgusting. it seems as prices continue to rise as standards continue to slip.

I,ll be looking for bus and coach services where possible next time i need to go anywhere.

( got a bus from Preston to Birkdale for the golf last week - it was quicker - no changes and nearly half the price)

rabdeniro

I used to travel from Glsgow to London regularly, in your late teens, ealry twenties, buy a carry oot have a good laugh, in my thirties could still hack it, forties was a bit ify, fifties no chance, end up arguing with all the teenagers who are steamin, car for me every time now, or if I can afford the Train.

unknown_username

All these bus stories, reminds me of my home leaving trip from Manchester to Eastbourne '86.

I hope this doesn't derail this thread, as the OP is trains.

A mate of mine, who did the same journey in the spring , invited me down to a job in a hotel with accomodation. A coach was on hand that serviced  the hotels I could poach a lift as a named passenger.

I got a taxi to a Cannock , somewhere near Stoke, from there , a holiday coach would take me to my new home.

The coach was packed  full of jolly northern holiday people who had started their holiday before the coach started moving.

I sat myself in the low down seat adjacent to the driver. 

I remember a toothless old lady coming down and sharing a hand full of nuts with the driver.

 I was quite shy , I said no thanks.

Over the next few hours, she would pop down offering more, the driver cheerfully accepted. I kept up my no nuts policy , though , I started to want some , but couldn't think of how to back down.

One final time, she offered again, I said , they do look tasty, why don't you eat them yourselves ?

She said, she had no teeth and prefers to suck the chocolate off.

Not been on a coach since.

cpfc_2010

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : i once took a bus from Glasgow to London.......the nut worst night of my life. In fact I'd rather listen to Jon and Jac talk football than ever take that journey again.
Posted by HENDRIK62

I remember a night in Portugal, where you, Jac and myself where trying to shelter from torrential rain in a Phone box. This was after we'd all done our bolloxxx playing cash. Does it not come close?

Essexphil

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

I used to travel from Glsgow to London regularly, in your late teens, ealry twenties, buy a carry oot have a good laugh, in my thirties could still hack it, forties was a bit ify, fifties no chance, end up arguing with all the teenagers who are steamin, car for me every time now, or if I can afford the Train.
Posted by rabdeniro

when I was a student in Dundee many years ago, the coach used to travel overnight, calling just Dundee-Glasgow-London. To show how long ago this was, the front half of the coach upper deck was smoking.

Packed bus-guy gets on at Glasgow, and though he has a "smoking" seat, the only available seat is 1 row into the non-smoking. He asks everyone around if they mind him smoking-everyone said no, apart from the last one, who said he did mind. The rest is pure Glasgow:-

"Why? Are you disabled?"

"No."

"Would you like to be? "

Happy days....

Jac35

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : I remember a night in Portugal, where you, Jac and myself where trying to shelter from torrential rain in a Phone box. This was after we'd all done our bolloxxx playing cash. Does it not come close?
Posted by cpfc_2010

This night? I remember writing about it

Had one of the strangest things that's ever  happened to me  when we left. The rain was incredible. We walked about 100 yards to the taxi rank and Jimi, King of boks, said how good we were running. There was one cab there. Just as we got there he shot off. The three of us then dashed to a phone box to get out the rain. After a little while we decided to walk back. Suddenly the tiniest car you've ever seen pulled up by us and a head popped out the window and asked if we wanted a taxi. It was an incredibly pretty little head and so very sensibly we jumped in. We said where we were going and immediately we noticed that pretty head was taking us the wrong way. We sobered up quite quickly as we realised that maybe jumping into pretty heads car wasn't that smart after all. Not to worry though. The young lady pulled up at what she thought was the destination we'd asked for. When we told her it was another place, she apologised and said she didn't know where that was and so she would  drive us round until she found a taxi for us. This she did and 2 minutes later we were at a taxi rank. We offered her some money for the trip which she refused to take despite our pushing. She wished us good night and drove off. 

Still can't get my head around it.

hhyftrftdr

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

In Response to Re: I hate trains : This night? I remember writing about it Had one of the strangest things that's ever  happened to me  when we left. The rain was incredible. We walked about 100 yards to the taxi rank and Jimi, King of boks, said how good we were running. There was one cab there. Just as we got there he shot off. The three of us then dashed to a phone box to get out the rain. After a little while we decided to walk back. Suddenly the tiniest car you've ever seen pulled up by us and a head popped out the window and asked if we wanted a taxi. It was an incredibly pretty little head and so very sensibly we jumped in. We said where we were going and immediately we noticed that pretty head was taking us the wrong way. We sobered up quite quickly as we realised that maybe jumping into pretty heads car wasn't that smart after all. Not to worry though. The young lady pulled up at what she thought was the destination we'd asked for. When we told her it was another place, she apologised and said she didn't know where that was and so she would  drive us round until she found a taxi for us. This she did and 2 minutes later we were at a taxi rank. We offered her some money for the trip which she refused to take despite our pushing. She wished us good night and drove off.  Still can't get my head around it.
Posted by Jac35

Look forward to this story being twisted and retold in 2 years.

unknown_username

Phone CC Jac35, please.

LmfaoAllin

In Response to Re: I hate trains:

well played james 
Posted by Darkangel7

Unfortunately this is not a thinly veiled brag post, will be coughing up at the casino, hence the need for cheap travel

Tbh I'm kicking myself for not reading the promo page, didn't realise the sats only ran as long as they did, ah well.