Names For Poker Hands

MereNovice

We all know that AK is called "big slick" or Anna Kournikova (cruelly named because it looks good but supposedly rarely wins). AQ is known as the "big chick".

I believe that Jason Barrasford christened AJ as the Anjelina Jolie because it looks good but is far from impregnable.

My personal favourite came from a commentary by Victoria Coren.

She said that JK offsuit was known as the bachelor hand:- Jack-ing off - geddit?

Anyway, anyone else got any favourite names for poker hands?

NoseyBonk

Yeah .. 4K I call "The dreadful hand" ... cuz it's four king dreadful lol

FlashFlush

J4... Flat tyre.. because thats what a jacks for

RICHORFORD

If KKQQ comes down on the board, I always think of Brokeback Mountain. Two cowboys who happen to be queens...

Draig

6-9

Big Lick

BIG_G89

Q 3 the gay waiter, queen with a tray.

themackem

10 4 ... over and out ( radio jargon)
j 5 ... motown ( jackson 5)
55 speed limit (u.s.a)

Draig

Shouldn't it be J-4 for a jackson 4 now?

Norbit

In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:

Shouldn't it be J-4 for a jackson 4 now?
Posted by Draig

Oh thats a bit harsh!

my new fav hand hand 88- Snowmen

Sky_Dave

7-3 offsuit - the Kronenbourg (the slightly stronger beer hand). I made that one up myself and everything.

MereNovice

In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:

7-3 offsuit - the Kronenbourg (the slightly stronger beer hand). I made that one up myself and everything .
Posted by Sky_Dave

Copyright it now - quick.

Anonemouse

I've heard A4 being called the Transvestite hand, as the 4 kind of looks like an ace.

Surely Ten King has to be the "Old Man's Hand", being as it is TK...

MereNovice

In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:

Surely Ten King has to be the "Old Man's Hand", being as it is TK...
Posted by Anonemouse

I can feel a ban coming. :-)

KnackersYa

A,A,2,2,2 = The Marksman (three ducks, two bullets)

FlutNush

2,2 = 'The Desmond' (as in 'Archbishop Desmond Tutu')

 

4,4 = Desmond & The Missus

 

9,9 = Achtung!

 

A,A = 'Pocket-Heartache-If-Slow-Played-Against-Multi-Opponents' (If you're really pushed for time, you might simply want to refer to these as: 'PHISPAMO'... Or if you can't be messed with that, then 'Rockets' is still good. Failing that, you may not want to call them anything for fear of nobody betting into you)

 

3,7 = Irish Full House

 

5,6 = Cannibal 7 (because if you play this, then on the flop, you're really hoping to see that seven ate nine)

 

5,7 = 'You Have The Cake & I'll Have The Biscuits' (no particular reason, just thought I'd be the first to call 5,7 by that name)

 

FlutNush

Thinking about this some more... Wouldn't it be simpler if we stopped naming poker hands using convoluted slang, and instead, just used real Christian names?

 

For example:

 

AA = Steve

 

22 = Doris

 

33 = Keith

 

44 = Lionel

 

Etc. Etc.

 

I know it's not as creative, and I know it will never catch on, but wouldn't it make the World Series a little more entertaining if you could hear the commentators say: “Hansen's under the gun with Keith, Ivey's in the small blind holding Lionel, and I suspect they're both about to be re-raised by Annie, who's woken up with Steve!”

 

Don't say 'No' immediately. Give it some thought first. I'll bet you start warming to the idea...

GREGA1

99 GERMAN LESBIENS

NoseyBonk

In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:

6-9 Big Lick
Posted by Draig

LOL That's a good 'un!

DTWBANDIT

        
             3-2 won- dustybin

Dudeskin8

In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:

Thinking about this some more... Wouldn't it be simpler if we stopped naming poker hands using convoluted slang, and instead, just used real Christian names?   For example:   AA = Steve   22 = Doris   33 = Keith   44 = Lionel   Etc. Etc.   I know it's not as creative, and I know it will never catch on, but wouldn't it make the World Series a little more entertaining if you could hear the commentators say: “Hansen's under the gun with Keith, Ivey's in the small blind holding Lionel, and I suspect they're both about to be re-raised by Annie, who's woken up with Steve!”   Don't say 'No' immediately. Give it some thought first. I'll bet you start warming to the idea...
Posted by FlutNush

Love it !!! LOL

OMahonyO

In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:

Thinking about this some more... Wouldn't it be simpler if we stopped naming poker hands using convoluted slang, and instead, just used real Christian names?   For example:   AA = Steve   22 = Doris   33 = Keith   44 = Lionel   Etc. Etc.   I know it's not as creative, and I know it will never catch on, but wouldn't it make the World Series a little more entertaining if you could hear the commentators say: “Hansen's under the gun with Keith, Ivey's in the small blind holding Lionel, and I suspect they're both about to be re-raised by Annie, who's woken up with Steve!”   Don't say 'No' immediately. Give it some thought first. I'll bet you start warming to the idea...
Posted by FlutNush

this made me chuckle, n1

SoLack

Can 87 be called Brian please

26 is B&B in darts (2s6d in old money)

inka2003

Here's one ....

AA = "A Pair of Aces"

inka2003

SKYPOKER Meets SKYBINGO

6 2 = Clickety duck

oynutter

i like 2-j off----when ive got time to play with this hand

BigBluster

In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:

i like 2-j off----when ive got time to play with this hand
Posted by oynutter

LOL.

This will be deleted by moderators within about ten minutes!

scrumdown

A8  dead  mans  hand

FlutNush

8,8 = Mirrored Fern (after Fern Britton; everyone's favourite morning TV presenter, who did much for slimmers everywhere, when she courageously admitted to having a gastric band fitted).

MADMOO

JJ....Lose your stack

DTWBANDIT

     89  Fools Gold named after thinking i had a hand that was gold only to be proved a fool

fitzer14

  the dogs nuts      K-9