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Donkey Orford's PTP Thread

2

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  • splashiessplashies
    edited April 2011
    Orford 31st
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  • shovemonkishovemonki
    edited April 2011
    rich to finish 100th
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  • AcidMan27AcidMan27
    edited April 2011

    Q1, 37th

     

    "My name is Richard Orford, & I need help. I'm not only hopeless, helpless, & hapless at da pokerz, but I think I'm in love with tikay, I really do love that boy. What advice can you give me?

     

    What you need to do is read a book, there are several on this subject but the best one is written by Dr Woowoo  entitled “How to woo the man of your dreams”

     

    As for the poker part I’d recommend you take up dominoes as you’ve got no hope if you stick with poker.


    Hope this advice helps.
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  • kaymackaymac
    edited April 2011


    Rich to finish 57th

    "My name is Richard Orford, & I need help. I'm not only hopeless, helpless, & hapless at da pokerz, but I think I'm in love with tikay, I really do love that boy. What advice can you give me?

    I'm afraid it not advice you need, it's therapy......
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  • MP33MP33
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    "My name is Richard Orford, & I need help. I'm not only hopeless, helpless, & hapless at da pokerz, but I think I'm in love with tikay, I really do love that boy. What advice can you give me? BEST ANSWER to that wins a TSP Classic Seat. ;)
    Posted by Tikay10
    Depends on  who,s judging this - If its tikay : Hi Rich, try a little footsie under the desk and see what response you get?

    If its rich :  Hi Rich - Get yourself down to specsavers sharpish :)

    In the TSP classic I,ll go for an all time record of 33rd

    GL with it     
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  • MachkaMachka
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    "My name is Richard Orford, & I need help. I'm not only hopeless, helpless, & hapless at da pokerz, but I think I'm in love with tikay, I really do love that boy. What advice can you give me? BEST ANSWER to that wins a TSP Classic Seat. ;)
    Posted by Tikay10

    Q1. 123rd

    Q2. Go with the Bromance, but stop referring to Tikay as "boy"!
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  • Kiwini4uKiwini4u
    edited April 2011
    1)Rich to finish 45th

    2) Rich, I am afraid you are out of luck everyone knows that Tikay has a crush on Sky_Mandy
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  • jackdajackda
    edited April 2011
    rich to finish 33rd
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  • SolarCarroSolarCarro
    edited April 2011
    32nd

    A very very very very cold shower!

    Dave
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  • Any2SuitedAny2Suited
    edited April 2011
    Question 1 : 22nd place

    Q2:
    "My name is Richard Orford, & I need help. I'm not only hopeless, helpless, & hapless at da pokerz, but I think I'm in love with tikay, I really do love that boy. What advice can you give me?

    "We are now an advanced race and we have the technology to rebuild your body Mr Orford, but the mind is a strange animal, and with that in your mind, may i offer you the latest catalogue of "Dolce and Gabana" man bags for the new season and point to you the his lovely matching  man bag with red matching scarf for him and him, just don't fight your true feelings."

    Dave ,feelings awareness councillor (probably an actual job on £50,000 a year for some london borough!)
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  • mkgunnermkgunner
    edited April 2011
    94th
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  • RICHORFORDRICHORFORD
    edited April 2011
    Well there's no use crying about this. I brought it on myself. With no internet access today till just now I wanted to get tonight's TSP comp up and running at the earliest opportunity.

    In what appears to be a mistake of the most enormous magnitude, I foolishly phoned the old dear at 4pm and asked for his assistance in starting the thread, based on the fact he'd probably be at a loose end whilst everyone else in the nursing home was watching 'Countdown'.

    'You're a legend' I texted him, when he told me he'd started the thread. I did, however, add a proviso: 'I may retract that statement once I've read your opening post.'

    Ladies and gentlemen, I retract that statement.

    A couple of legal corrections to make to your majesty's opening post....(1) I was NOT late on Sunday! I was in the office writing show scripts whilst Uncle Albert was swanning around in the makeup room for two hours. (2) I did not throw a mardy strop. I  expressed a mild irritation with Tikay. No more than my usual mild irritiation with him. Or indeed anyone else's mild irritation with him.

    As for the bit about me being in love with him. Well, that's true.

    Good replies so far, keep 'em up please. And it's T-Minus  one hour now to the TSP Classic where tonight I predict I will finish 6th! You heard me, 6th!!!!!!

     
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  • Tikay10Tikay10
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    Well there's no use crying about this. I brought it on myself. With no internet access today till just now I wanted to get tonight's TSP comp up and running at the earliest opportunity. In what appears to be a mistake of the most enormous magnitude, I foolishly phoned the old dear and asked for his assistance in starting the thread, based on the fact he'd probably be kicking around at a loose end at around 4pm whilst everyone else in the nursing home watched 'Countdown'. 'You're a legend' I texted him when he told me he'd started the thread. I did, however, add a proviso: 'I may retract that statement once I've read your opening post.' Ladies and gentlemen, I retract that statement. A couple of legal corrections to make to your majesty's opening post....(1) I was NOT late on Sunday! I was in the office writing show scripts whilst Uncle Albert was swanning around in the makeup room for two hours. (2) I did not throw a mardy strop. I  expressed a mild irritation with Tikay. No more than my usual mild irritiation with him. Or indeed anyone else's mild irritation with him. As for the bit about me being in love with him. Well, that's true. Good replies so far, keep 'em up please. And it's T-Minus  one hour now to the TSP Classic where tonight I predict I will finish 6th! You heard me, 6th!!!!!!  
    Posted by RICHORFORD
    "the old dear"? "Uncle albert".....

    Outrageous.

    "Old dear" indeed. You can't say that, I'm an institution.  
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  • lozgolozgo
    edited April 2011
    i'll go for richs' age....39 (and a bit)
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  • RICHORFORDRICHORFORD
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread : "the old dear"? "Uncle albert"..... Outrageous. "Old dear" indeed. You can't say that, I'm an institution.   
    Posted by Tikay10

    No, you're IN an institution.

    Burgundy Fields Retirement Home for The Utterly Deluded.

    By the way, are you judging the winner of your second TSP comp tonight? I ask only because you threw an almighty wobbler the other day when I announced the winner of your show thread on TV.

    "Don't you know who I am?" you minced to anyone who could be bothered to listen in the studio.

    Although unfortunately, due to your advanced years, it came out as "Don't I know who I am?"

    FACT.
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  • RICHORFORDRICHORFORD
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    i'll go for richs' age....
    Posted by lozgo

    Wrong, Laurie. I will NOT be finishing 24th tonight...
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  • lozgolozgo
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread : Wrong, Laurie. I will NOT be finishing 24th tonight...
    Posted by RICHORFORD
    in your wifes dreams (probably)!!!
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  • Tikay10Tikay10
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread : No, you're IN an institution. Burgundy Fields Retirement Home for The Utterly Deluded. By the way, are you judging the winner of your second TSP comp tonight? I ask only because you threw an almighty wobbler the other day when I announced the winner of your show thread on TV. "Don't you know who I am?" you minced to anyone who could be bothered to listen in the studio. Although unfortunately, due to your advanced years, it came out as "Don't I know who I am?" FACT.
    Posted by RICHORFORD
    Judge it yourself. I'm officially being difficult, now.
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  • inka2003inka2003
    edited April 2011
    Richard / Tikay

    This petty bickering has to stop.

    Now, remove those 2 pillows from between you and both roll over and cuddle.

    See ?  Better already.
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  • RICHORFORDRICHORFORD
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    Richard / Tikay This petty bickering has to stop. Now, remove those 2 pillows from between you and both roll over and cuddle. See ?  Better already.
    Posted by inka2003

    As they said in 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles': "Those aren't pillows..."
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  • TiaDalmaTiaDalma
    edited April 2011
    Rich to finish 10th
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  • celtbhoy24celtbhoy24
    edited April 2011
    17th, good luck Rich.
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  • RICHORFORDRICHORFORD
    edited April 2011
    Ahem, 96 left.

    Chip leader? Yours truly...
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  • kaymackaymac
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    Ahem, 96 left. Chip leader? Yours truly...
    Posted by RICHORFORD
    ever heard of the phrase "famous last words" ??????????
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited April 2011


    A quick game of spot the....no, not sausage....the odd one out...

    RICHORFORD9592.50jkeeble8820malcol19677752.50MonkeyF7715dibleydoo7287.50terrano9007190I_C_Balls6932.50Massoud106445cleverkev6432.50RANGERSCHA6330
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  • RICHORFORDRICHORFORD
    edited April 2011
    RICHORFORD9592.50  jkeeble8820  MonkeyF8105  malcol19677752.50  dibleydoo7287.50  terrano9007190  I_C_Balls6932.50  Massoud106445  cleverkev6432.50  RANGERSCHA6330  MrEdd5900  lee15679155680  zippy3735500  marsh874590  dog8dog4507.50  goldstar074502.50  DIP1374492.50  scotty774290


    Are you watching, Tikay?
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  • TRIP5TRIP5
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    RICHORFORD 9592.50     jkeeble 8820     MonkeyF 8105     malcol1967 7752.50     dibleydoo 7287.50     terrano900 7190     I_C_Balls 6932.50     Massoud10 6445     cleverkev 6432.50     RANGERSCHA 6330     MrEdd 5900     lee1567915 5680     zippy373 5500     marsh87 4590     dog8dog 4507.50     goldstar07 4502.50     DIP137 4492.50     scotty77 4290 Are you watching, Tikay?
    Posted by RICHORFORD
    Blatent brag post...

    MODS...BAN PLSSSS

    xx
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  • SALT1R3SALT1R3
    edited April 2011
    If its not too late to post (which it probably is lol) then Rich to finish 28th.
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  • Tikay10Tikay10
    edited April 2011

    Groan. Say it ain't so. Please.
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  • Tikay10Tikay10
    edited April 2011
    In Response to Re: Donkey Orford's PTP Thread:
    RICHORFORD 9592.50     jkeeble 8820     MonkeyF 8105     malcol1967 7752.50     dibleydoo 7287.50     terrano900 7190     I_C_Balls 6932.50     Massoud10 6445     cleverkev 6432.50     RANGERSCHA 6330     MrEdd 5900     lee1567915 5680     zippy373 5500     marsh87 4590     dog8dog 4507.50     goldstar07 4502.50     DIP137 4492.50     scotty77 4290 Are you watching, Tikay?
    Posted by RICHORFORD
    No. 
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