TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker

IRISHROVER

Rubber gloves on - vaseline at the ready - video running 


NEXT!!!!!

IRISHROVER

So are you a team player or captain who is finding the going tough ?
Well no worries ,
Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke  are here to help .

67Bhoys

Dear Dr Elsa and Dr Blacke, I'm having problems with my RNG(random numpty generator).  It seems to be spewing out hundreds of little wierd looking chaps with boggly eyes and wearing bacofoil hats.  They go with any 2 cards and always hit on the river.

Can anything be done to stop the RNG(Random Numpty Generator) cloning these pesky little critters?

unknown_username

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

Dear Dr Elsa and Dr Blacke, I'm having problems with my RNG(random numpty generator).  It seems to be spewing out hundreds of little wierd looking chaps with boggly eyes and wearing bacofoil hats.  They go with any 2 cards and always hit on the river. Can anything be done to stop the RNG(Random Numpty Generator) cloning these pesky little critters?
Posted by 67Bhoys

Dear 67Bhoys,

This is a classic case of delusion. You only think you're surrounded by them. After all there are only 51 members in Team51 - there are 67 of you. A short stay in area51 under my care will soon put you back on your feet. Also, Dr blacke has been looking to do some advanced experiments with our new BacoFoil underwear and I'm sure all 67 of you would benefit from this.

Nurse elsa

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : Dear 67Bhoys, This is a classic case of delusion. You only think you're surrounded by them. After all there are only 51 members in Team51 - there are 67 of you. Nurse elsa
Posted by elsadog

Thanks nurse Elsa,

but do you normally treat cases of delusion with vaseline and rubber gloves?

unknown_username

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : Thanks nurse Elsa, but do you normally treat cases of delusion with vaseline and rubber gloves?
Posted by 67Bhoys

I treat all cases with Vaseline and rubber gloves. ;o)

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : Dear 67Bhoys, This is a classic case of delusion. You only think you're surrounded by them. After all there are only 51 members in Team51 - there are 67 of you. A short stay in area51 under my care will soon put you back on your feet. Also, Dr blacke has been looking to do some advanced experiments with our new BacoFoil underwear and I'm sure all 67 of you would benefit from this. Nurse elsa
Posted by elsadog

Dear nurse Elsa

Does the bacofoil underwear protect against a nal probing??

debdobs_67

Well im just fine BUT i doooo like the idea of vaseline , i mean anything for an easy life yeah ?? ))

unknown_username

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : Dear nurse Elsa Does the bacofoil underwear protect against a nal probing??
Posted by 67Bhoys

They do when used in combination with a bicycle lock and glycerine insert.

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : They do when used in combination with a bicycle lock and glycerine insert.
Posted by elsadog

Dear Nurse Elsa

Patient Debdobs seems a little keener than me to experiment in this dept.  Could you have her do a clinical test the wearing the BacoFoil underwear, the bicycle lock and the glycerine insert, and get back to me with the results.

unknown_username

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : Dear Nurse Elsa Patient Debdobs seems a little keener than me to experiment in this dept.  Could you have her do a clinical test the wearing the BacoFoil underwear, the bicycle lock and the glycerine insert, and get back to me with the results.
Posted by 67Bhoys

OK, I've spoken with Dr Blacke and it can't be done I'm afraid. The glycerine insert would cause a chemical reaction with the Rowntree's Fruit Gums.

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : OK, I've spoken with Dr Blacke and it can't be done I'm afraid. The glycerine insert would cause a chemical reaction with the Rowntree's Fruit Gums.
Posted by elsadog

Dear nurse Elsa

I can see your problem, it would certainly leave a bad taste in the mouth if the experiment were to go wrong.

Poker_Fail

*Visits area 51 for the first time...*

*Backs slowly towards the exit and leaves*

*Peeks back in due to curiosity...*

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

*Visits area 51 for the first time...* *Backs slowly towards the exit and leaves* *Peeks back in due to curiosity...*
Posted by Poker_Fail

As long as your foot didn't cross the threshold you'll be safe enough.

Walk slowly backwards away from the area, and never speak of what you saw here ever again

unknown_username

 Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

*Visits area 51 for the first time...* *Backs slowly towards the exit and leaves* *Peeks back in due to curiosity...*
Posted by Poker_Fail

''GOTCHA!!!''


Can somebody pass me those bicycle clips and a wetwipe please?

bigal36903

i think he came checking what the team was like, then found this..  didn t know if he should stay or go

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

i think he came checking what the team was like, then found this..  didn t know if he should stay or go
Posted by bigal36903

Really, after reading this!!  I reckon he would run for the hills!!

edge215

Dear Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke
 
Being a musician in my spare time (brass)...I often use music to focus my mind prior to playing poker...but recently I find i have been having doubts about my saxuality...the trouble appears to be that I don't know weather to suck or to blow...which also explains why I keep exploding my rubber gloves....no amount of vaseline seems to help......though i am walking more fluently....please advise...yours patiently...edge

rabbiteyes

Dear Doctor & Nurse

I think I am being stalked.....

Everytime I express my neutral (ish) opinion on any serious poker related matters in area 51

I get an almost instant reply from some one going by the name of "Dohhhball".... I think his/her name is

Pretending he knows all there is to know about everyting

Can you offer some advice?

Should I just ignore him? I think he is a northerner ( prob  no entertainment up north so spends alot of time on forums)

Or should I lower myself to his/her level and communicate with the afore mentioned?

unknown_username

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

Dear Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke   Being a musician in my spare time (brass)...I often use music to focus my mind prior to playing poker...but recently I find i have been having doubts about my saxuality...the trouble appears to be that I don't know weather to suck or to blow...which also explains why I keep exploding my rubber gloves....no amount of vaseline seems to help......though i am walking more fluently....please advise...yours patiently...edge
Posted by edge215

Dear Edge,

Without physical examination it's difficult to ascertain just what the problem is. The vaseline will obviously assist with walking but I'm afraid it's avoiding the real issue. You need to book into ward51 asap and have the saxophone surgically removed. This is a well practiced procedure requiring only a local anaesthetic. No amount of vaseline and blowing into rubber gloves will give the same relief. I'll have a bed prepared for you.

Nurse elsa

unknown_username

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

Dear Doctor & Nurse I think I am being stalked..... Everytime I express my neutral (ish) opinion on any serious poker related matters in area 51 I get an almost instant reply from some one going by the name of "Dohhhball".... I think his/her name is Pretending he knows all there is to know about everyting Can you offer some advice? Should I just ignore him? I think he is a northerner ( prob  no entertainment up north so spends alot of time on forums) Or should I lower myself to his/her level and communicate with the afore mentioned?
Posted by rabbiteyes

Dear Rabbiteyes

I'm afraid I can't divulge anything regarding our patients. Dohhhhhhh has been a patient of our resident psychiatrist Dr Oynutter for some time and so I am forbidden to give out details, other than to say that he is at a crucial stage of his treatment.

Nurse elsa

edge215

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : Dear Edge, Without physical examination it's difficult to ascertain just what the problem is. The vaseline will obviously assist with walking but I'm afraid it's avoiding the real issue. You need to book into ward51 asap and have the saxophone surgically removed. This is a well practiced procedure requiring only a local anaesthetic. No amount of vaseline and blowing into rubber gloves will give the same relief. I'll have a bed prepared for you. Nurse elsa
Posted by elsadog

Dear nurse Elsa
I have been warned against ward51...as apparently...once removed.... the staff spent too much time polishing your instrument to achieve any lasting cure...though I admit sometimes quick relief is a viable alternative...but as I understand..quite stressful on your knees...also i once had a bad experience when the finger of my marigold got stuck in a stirrup...yours...worriedly...edge

Poker_Fail

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : As long as your foot didn't cross the threshold you'll be safe enough. Walk slowly backwards away from the area, and never speak of what you saw here ever again
Posted by 67Bhoys

OMG, i stepped inside... and ate their free cookies...

I'm running through the forest at the moment i think i've lost them

labrat64

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : OMG, i stepped inside... and ate their free cookies... I'm running through the forest at the moment i think i've lost them
Posted by Poker_Fail

As the official Guinea Pig for the clinic. i can say that the cookies are very nice, but if you find yourself glowing in the dark whilst running through said forest, Don't worry, the effects wear off after about 48 hours. I urge you to check back in to allow the good doctors to assess your condition

edge215

Edge unavailable for comment...as he has gone to woods with anti-glare sunglasses and polaroid
....Mrs Edge......

kaymac

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Nurse Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : OMG, i stepped inside... and ate their free cookies... I'm running through the forest at the moment i think i've lost them
Posted by Poker_Fail

Remember the wise words of The Eagles from "Hotel California"

"" You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave""

drumahai05

 as instructed and as  head tracker for the team i went into the woods looking for the two  hopeful applicants. im sorry to report i found POKER knelling over edge. i shouted POKER there was a scream from edge. we brought edge out unable to walk. im afraid poker is a fail. will try to retrieve him later

edge215

lol....Oh aye...."POKER"....consider at this juncture....drumahai05.....that your wise words have seeped through or indeed beneath the thin layers of bacofoil...all rubber gloves and tubs of vaseline have been neatly packed away.....and in future "Poker" will once again become the only intravenously injection administered ....(In my defence..I done all my lollipop on friday)...thks for recall from woods....edge

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : Dear 67Bhoys, This is a classic case of delusion. You only think you're surrounded by them. After all there are only 51 members in Team51 - there are 67 of you. A short stay in area51 under my care will soon put you back on your feet. Also, Dr blacke has been looking to do some advanced experiments with our new BacoFoil underwear and I'm sure all 67 of you would benefit from this. Nurse elsa
Posted by elsadog

Dear nurse Elsa,

I don't think that the vaseline and rubber gloves treatment has helped my delusion.  I was in Cardiff this weekend, and could have sworn I spotted more of the pesky critters.  I am sure that they are following me, as they seemed to be everywhere I went.

djblacke04

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : Dear nurse Elsa, I don't think that the vaseline and rubber gloves treatment has helped my delusion.  I was in Cardiff this weekend, and could have sworn I spotted more of the pesky critters.  I am sure that they are following me, as they seemed to be everywhere I went.
Posted by 67Bhoys

Dr Elsa is currently on vacation,your case has been forwarded into my dept.Before i go any further,i must add that your perception of these'pesky critters' that play any 2,are actually figments of your imagination.The problem is easily remedied,When you play your cards,put your angry face on and you will see results.....failing this make the  'GRRRR' sound as you put the chips in.

67Bhoys

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players.:

In Response to Re: TEAM51 poker clinic is now open / consultants Dr Elsa & Dr Blacke are here to help the weaker captains & team players. : Dr Elsa is currently on vacation,your case has been forwarded into my dept.Before i go any further,i must add that your perception of these'pesky critters' that play any 2,are actually figments of your imagination.The problem is easily remedied,When you play your cards,put your angry face on and you will see results.....failing this make the  'GRRRR' sound as you put the chips in.
Posted by djblacke04

Dear Dr Blacke,

you can't imagine my delight when you said nurse Elsa was on holiday.  I don't know if I could have suffered the same treatment that I received the last time I checked in.  It brought a tear to a glass eye!  Your advice is much more sensible, I have practiced my angry face and grrrrr'd at my wife.  It made her laugh, is this the effect I'm looking for?

I think you may be telling porkies that nurse Elsa is on holiday though.  Has she been arrested for improper medical practices, or has she herself been committed to ward 51 to have her sanity checked?