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Agony Aunt Annie.?

logdonlogdon
edited August 2011 in The Shed
Yes Ask me anything you like and I will give you the Answer.?   If I don't know ( which is usual ) then Ill make it up or ask TK.
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  • DOHHHHHHHDOHHHHHHH
    edited July 2011
    How do chinese takeaways make their beef chow mein taste so much nicer than when I make it at home?
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  • HITMAN_RVHITMAN_RV
    edited July 2011
    The Hitwife wants me to drive to Newcastle next week-end, to buy a thoroughbred Rottweiler Puppy called Phobe!!

    If I dont go she will prob Kill me, if I do go, in 1 year when the Pup is bigger than me, she will prob train it to eat me......

    What should i do ????
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited July 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    How do chinese takeaways make their beef chow mein taste so much nicer than when I make it at home?
    Posted by DOHHHHHHH
    They rely on the rats in the kitchen to give it the taste.  Thank you
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited July 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    The Hitwife wants me to drive to Newcastle next week-end, to buy a thoroughbred Rottweiler Puppy called Phobe!! If I dont go she will prob Kill me, if I do go, in 1 year when the Pup is bigger than me, she will prob train it to eat me...... What should i do ????
    Posted by HITMAN_RV
    Take out Insurance in your lover's name.
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited July 2011
     Come on Lads join the AAA
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  • spornybolspornybol
    edited July 2011
    HOW DO I SHUT THE MISSES UP ? HER NAME IS ANNIE
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited August 2011


    Hi Auntie Annie...

    My question (which is obv private between you and me) is...

    I am currently the Landlord of a very popular Bar in an idyllic setting but I seem to be losing money every week. I don't care that much really, as it is only a cover for a tax fiddle and the massage parlour upstairs. However, what would you suggest I do to increase turnover?

    Cheers,

    AL
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    HOW DO I SHUT THE MISSES UP ? HER NAME IS ANNIE
    Posted by spornybol
    You take her out to dinner and buy her a lovely new dress.!
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    Hi Auntie Annie... My question (which is obv private between you and me) is... I am currently the Landlord of a very popular Bar in an idyllic setting but I seem to be losing money every week. I don't care that much really, as it is only a cover for a tax fiddle and the massage parlour upstairs. However, what would you suggest I do to increase turnover? Cheers, AL
    Posted by MAXALLY
    You should sell the bar to me and retire to the south of France.  If you wish to keep the bar then get rid of the hanger on's and hire topless waitresses.
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  • bandinibandini
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    How do chinese takeaways make their beef chow mein taste so much nicer than when I make it at home?
    Posted by DOHHHHHHH


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monosodium_glutamate
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  • 67Bhoys67Bhoys
    edited August 2011
    Dear Auntie Annie,

    I was interviewed for a job as a topless waitress, but lost out to someone younger, a certain Young Gun.  Grant you his moobs are impressive, but I reckon I would look better in the fishnets.

    Should I get moob implants to increase my prospects?
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.? : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monosodium_glutamate
    Posted by bandini
    Thank you for that Information "Einstein" would be proud of your knowledge and ability to surfing the Net.!

     but remember to much of it is bad for you, and you also get high blood pressure from the glutamate.? 
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
     Moobs are good for you but you need to look after them and care for them properly.  Ooh, Man Moobs on the other "Hand" def no no.! Stick to the Bare chest and Dickie bow tie.  Al runs a Sexual equality establishment and his add has now been amended to include Topless waiters    Wear a Cod piece  and stay out of Fishermen's nets you'll end up on Tesco's Wet fish Counter filleted.  ?

    "Filleted"  definition :      "Your bone will be removed.!"
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    Hi Auntie Annie... My question (which is obv private between you and me) is... I am currently the Landlord of a very popular Bar in an idyllic setting but I seem to be losing money every week. I don't care that much really, as it is only a cover for a tax fiddle and the massage parlour upstairs. However, what would you suggest I do to increase turnover? Cheers, AL
    Posted by MAXALLY
    Edit, first post women opened mouth to soon.

    This post brain now thinking;     Double the upstairs Staff.! 


    plus I asked TK.?
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  • lucy4lucy4
    edited August 2011
    Dear Annie, When I was upstairs looking out of my bedroom window at my neighbor sunbathing nude & bashing one out at the sight of her. I turned round to see the wife standing there arms folded watching me but saying nothing, so is she some sort of pervert ?
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    Dear Annie, When I was upstairs looking out of my bedroom window at my neighbor sunbathing nude & bashing one out at the sight of her. I turned round to see the wife standing there arms folded watching me but saying nothing, so is she some sort of pervert ?
    Posted by lucy4
    No she was just waiting for the Hair Gel.
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  • lozgolozgo
    edited August 2011
    Dear Auntie Annie. What would you say to a man who has nothing, wanted everything, but was fat and ugly?
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    Dear Auntie Annie. What would you say to a man who has nothing, wanted everything, but was fat and ugly?
    Posted by lozgo
    It is good to want things and to aspire to greatness but we are all mortal and cant all be Brad Pit or Angelina.   Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and one man or womens pigs ear is another's Elephants hAss.  Said it before and true today.!   "Robbie"  If you can't get a girl and your best mate can,     it's time to move your body.   Or if you want it in plain English.  Buy an inflatable friend. ? 
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  • paige55paige55
    edited August 2011
    hi logdon my dear auntie annie,luv you xxx paige aka trish xxx thank you for not saying how bad i feel,i will pm you soon xxx still not ready to come back to the forum, i will have a chat with you i will send you a pm xxx
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    hi logdon my dear auntie annie,luv you xxx paige aka trish xxx thank you for not saying how bad i feel,i will pm you soon xxx still not ready to come back to the forum, i will have a chat with you i will send you a pm xxx
    Posted by paige55
    Hi Trish    Yours is a more difficult situation for me being real life as I meander through fantasy and silliness on the Forum. I'm not the real deal as an Agony Aunt but as a friend and someone who understands what you are going through you have my support and love. Hugs Annie xxx
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    "Well what is the Country coming to".!   Walking home across the park I found a Mobile Phone on the grass someone must have dropped it or walked off without it. Anyway, it was not damaged and switched on. I took it home and Hubby said it was a "Blackberry" very expensive Phone and someone must be gutted to have lost it.  "Can you look in the address book and find the Owner"  "I asked."  He fiddled about with it for twenty minutes laughing and then said, " I don't know how to operate it."  "Well, what were you laughing at."!  "It keeps switching off when I get to Sexy Ladies"?  "Your supposed to be looking for the Owner." He said it needs charging and our phone chargers are the wrong type. "Men" Give me the Phone I'll take to the Police Station.  Well, after walking all the way down to the police station it was closed. Notice,in the window said, Mon to Fri 8 til 6.30 Sat 8 til 7pm Closed Sunday. "Hello" when did this happen the Police only working Office hours. "No crime on Sunday's then.?  "Robbers working Office hour to".  So I called in Monday Morning and was told it was Government cuts and this station was downgraded.  Great I have to phone this number and then they can listen while I'm being mugged.  "I digress",  So I hand the phone in and explain it needs charging but there should be enough power left in it for them to get the Owners number and contact them. "Job done " feeling proud of myself having done my civic duty so forgot all about it for a couple of weeks when Hubby suddenly mentioned it.  I'll pop in and ask if they found the owner. "No, they said, nobody has claimed it". "But didn't you get the Address from the Phone." Sorry Madam we are not allowed to look in peoples phones under the data protection act.  "What" you are the Police you are joking me. "No"  unless there has been a crime, then we come under this act of Parliament."  "So if the person does not report the phone lost or call at the police station they may never get it back and I've waisted my time".  "Yep", Sorry but those are the rules. "We get on average ten Mobile Phones handed in every week. "If they are not claimed in six months they are sold off and the money goes back into policing." "Rules don't you just love them"!  
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  • lozgolozgo
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.? : It is good to want things and to aspire to greatness but we are all mortal and cant all be Brad Pit or Angelina.   Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and one man or womens pigs ear is another's Elephants hAss.  Said it before and true today.!   "Robbie"  If you can't get a girl and your best mate can,     it's time to move your body.   Or if you want it in plain English.  Buy an inflatable friend. ? 
    Posted by logdon
    cheers auntie. was looking through a catalogue of 'alternate' ladies and found one called Amazing Annie. modeled on you perhaps?
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.?:
    In Response to Re: Agony Aunt Annie.? : cheers auntie. was looking through a catalogue of 'alternate' ladies and found one called Amazing Annie. modeled on you perhaps?
    Posted by lozgo
    My claim to Fame.!   Did you buy me and get me excited.?
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  • lozgolozgo
    edited August 2011
    she's got lovely red lips, sparkling blue eyes and is wonderfully flexible. absolutely gorgeous!!
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
     Hubby found that I squeak did yours squeak.?
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  • lozgolozgo
    edited August 2011
    squeak? like a mouse on acid!!
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
     Or a Rat on  pounds shillings and pence.?
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    do you like pain or   having your innermost secrets squeeze your bits fondled .... and played with ..... yes then tell me all about your problems.?   

     I promise not to tell anyone.!
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
      "Scaredy Custards"
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited August 2011
    While waiting for my Pocket Money to re-load after night-mare week where every race was Olympic last place. I took myself of to Free Play to pass the time away.  "Well what a shock".!  Not what I remembered.  Their all "Norman Bates"  in the Shower.?   No wonder new players coming through the System call with crazy cards.  One name-less chap just goes all-in every hand and yes the RNG rewards him.  If he loses,  off for more chips and "Ariston".  You can't learn like that,  or can you.!   He pops on every table so you can't escape him.  I had to either call or leave. ?   So did I learn "Yep"  stay out of Free Play.
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