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Saturday Night Live with Rich and Ed ***the official show thread***
Comedy things you've heard kids say!
NOT GONE PASSED WATERSHED YET ? BUT 12YRS LATERS STILL RED FACED
NOT GONE PASSED WATERSHED YET ? BUT 12YRS LATERS STILL RED FACED
Comments
We're live tonight on Channel 865 from 9pm till 1am for more Mastercash madness!
In the cockpit are myself and the Mayor of Value Town, Ed Giddins.
Get your messages in- hand requests, banter- all the usual :-)
Topics tonight-
Bankroll management
How much do you have in yours right now? What percentage of it do you risk at any one time? Do you multi-table? How and when do you withdraw money? Do you set aside a certain amount of money each week to play poker? Do you have any tips to give to others to help them not go broke on the baize?
And secondly, (and not quite as seriously)...
Comedy things you've heard kids say!
If you don't have kids, then of course, it can be nieces, nephews, friends' kids etc.
You know the sort of thing.
When I was little, my gran said to my brother on his fifth birthday "Ooo, you're getting older now. You'll soon be 17 and able to drive. And then you'll be able to drive your gran to the shops."
To which my brother replied " No Gran, you'll be dead by then"
Lol!
Have you ever heard them say something embarrassing or explain how something works (television, Christmas, why the sky is blue etc etc) in an innocent and highly amusing way?
Let's be having those comedy kids comments!
Prizes for the best ones!
Looking forward to your answers!
Now get back to work. Oh, you've still got a week left of your holiday haven't you? ;-)
Let's have some more people!
Hi Orf donk & Ed statsmeister here is my take on .........................
Bankroll management / brm
Good brm this is the most important of all things to master in poker ,
without this you have very little control of your poker destiny .
Master this & hopefully you will never have to redeposit cash
in to your poker account again.
HOW ?
Forget about putting £10 here & £5 there in your account,
or after the Friday night bottle of wine or a few cans throwing £20
on a cash table , all above a defo no no .
Wait until you have £100 to deposit,
view this as a long term investment in your
very own poker skills .
Now from your £100 bankroll,
dont bring in more than 2% - 3 % to play mtt games .
( unless its a monthly treat see below)
4% on dym games .
Don't spread more then 10% of your bankroll across 6 cash tables at once .
8% across 4 cash tables ,
4% across 2 tables &
2% on just one cash table .
Follow these rules & you are giving your self ever chance
to ride out the bad runs / variance ,
which will defo happen to you in poker .
Treats
Only if you find your br is growing ,
should you do the following .
If you had a good month & say your br is now above £150,
reward & treat yourself to a monthly once off bigger buy in for a £11 .
You may get lucky & boost your br big time .
Denis .
p,s can you give my new heads up comp in gpc a shout out guys .
bank management is simple when you join sky there is a box that ask,s you how much you what to deposit as long as you stick to that you will only lose what you can afford I once saw this wee lad sitting crying at the kirb and ask him what was wrong he told me he fell out with his mum and was running away on my way back a wee while later i saw my little friend still sitting there so i said to him though you where running away he said iam but iam not allowed to crosss the road
EDIT WHAT YOU NEED ? WOMEN AND MEN HAVE NAMES ???? BUT I`LL KEEP CLEAN AS POSS
WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS TWO AND WIFE AND MYSELF WAS ON BUS, THERE WAS NO-ONE ON, BUT THE NEXT STOP TWO OLD DEAR`S ( CALL THEM TIKAY ) GOT ON AND MY DAUGHTER PIPED UP, MUMMY YOU HAVE LOO-LOO WHY DOES DADDY (HER WORDS DOES DADDY HAVE A WILLY) AT MY AGE NOW MORE TINKY-WINKY
WORSE WIFE STILLS STILL REMINDS ME AND DAUGHTER ( WHO`S NOW 13) GUESS I`M NOT GOING TOO SHOW HER UP SOON ( INCASE SHE GET`S ME BACK)
To be honest I'm wondering how you're going to compete with that.
This is something you either get right or dont but make life easier for yourself by having the correct bankroll management strategy and always remember poker is an never ending game.
I will send in my comedy story separately
In a change to the scheduled programme, the part of Carlo Citrone will be played by his young and keen understudy- a lad called Ed Giddins!
If anyone wants a refund, please go to the box office! ;-)
Ed and Rich on at 9!
As usual there were quite a few different families there all having their children christened.
Well during the service one young boy asked his dad quite loudly...."why has that man (the vicar) got a dress on ? (he had one of those white gown things on) and why has he got such a big nose ?
You've got to love kids when they come out with things like that.
A bit of risk and excitement is fine, as long as it doesn't involve remotgaging, debt collectors, and meltdowns.
Oh - and I asked my daughter where eggs come from and she said "Tesco". She wasn't wrong.
One morning a young Glasgow boy 7 years old, phones in and says there were three couples having breakfast in a hotel the American guy says to his wife pass me the sugar sugar and she gives him the sugar, the English guy says to his wife pass me the honey honey she gives him the honey, and the Scottish guys says to his wife give me the milk you cow.
It was so funny to hear the dj apologising to all the listeners
Ed's hotfooting it to the studio as we speak but it's touch and go as to whether we go live at 9.
If we're not on then, we're hoping to go live at 9.30pm. But we will definitely have a long show for tonight whenever it starts!
Have a good show guys. Things kids say.....
When my son was small he always wrote a letter to Santa with his wish list. One year he put "Injured turtles" on the list. We had to ask him what he meant and he said " You know some of those Teenage Mutant Injured Turtles!" We were relieved to say the least!
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