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Some of the "best" exuses I have heard for people being off work!
1. My mother had to go out and I had to look after our blind cat so he didnt walk into things!
2. My mother thought I had already gone to work and she locked my bedroom door and went out for the day.
3. Next door went on holiday and left the cat in the house and it kept me awake all night.
4. Next doors dog would not let me out of the house!
5. My kitchen fell down in the hearthquake and I had to stay at home to make sure no-one got in the house. (there had been no earthquake)
6. Armed robbers came into the local paper shop while I was buying my paper and I was in so much shock I had to go back home! (no report was made of this in the local paper)
The last 4 of these where all made by the same person in a 12 month period!
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Next Doors Clock Chimed incorrectly and I went back to sleep.!
The Bus was late and went the wrong way so I went home.?
Young Lad Phoned in to say he won't be in, he was about to become a dad ........... everyone congratulated him, only next day turned out it was his pet Rabbit giving birth.
Taking the day off young girl was asked by the Boss why she didn't come in.! "The signs were bad " she said, What signs asked the boss.? "The one's in my Horoscope."!
MY FOOT GOT STUCK IN THE TRAM LINES, AND I HAD TO GO ROUND THE TOWN THREE TIMES
BEFORE THE POINTS CHANGED
My goldfish died - I get cats and dogs but not this.
My all time favourite is from one guy who was waiting for a lift to work stood next to a bus stop it was raining hard he stayed outside of the shelter, got himself soaking wet and went home. Instead of changing clothes he decided to phone in and declare himself to wet to come to work. When he did come back we presented him with an umbrella and award for worst excuse ever.