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Never fear ducky fans, I'll be back in November, reload and try again
gl though, I read with interest
Ducks of the day! ~
BR £126.34
2341PP
Hittin' flops, hero callin'
Busy day of privates ~ lovely jubbly, played 40 mins CASH on my hour break and won £55.22 ~ lovely lovely jubbly!!
(not NL50 btw to all you nitters) :P
No ducks today...now off to carve pumpkins
BR £181.56
PROFIT + £79.93
2367PP
Loving life, enjoying winning again...is it possible I might end the month in profit?!
20 mins of CASH + £30.87
2 Tourneys + £11.75
Back to work!
BR £224.18
PROFIT + £122.55
2399PP
It's a funny old thing ~ life!
Been obsessed with Kate Tempest this month and her song Circles...I keep waking up with it stuck in my head.
"I go round in circles, not graceful, not like dancers, not neatly, not like compass and pencil, more like a dog on a lead going mental"
Kate's a poet and I love writing and reading poetry so MrDuck bought me her epic poem Brand New Ancients the other day, which arrived two days ago.
I feel like I've been going round and round and round this month and from reading other diaries and posts on the forum it doesn't look like I'm the only one...
"Just when I think something's ending, the beginning comes back"
It's not easy putting yourself out there, writing personal (and financial) information on a forum. Some do it to try to control their game and spending, some to document progress and setbacks, some for motivation, some for attention, some to brag or to moan and some to inspire others.
I love it when I join a table and players I don't know say ~ hi MrsD gl, I enjoy your diary! I don't know them but they feel they know me and a new bond begins. Sometimes I feel sad by all the negativity this forum attracts and the lack of positive input and posting here but I try not to let it get me down. I'm a strong believer of kindness and energy and enthusiasm and humility (and more) and putting out there what you want to receive back and I know that the community will build on that.
Diaries seem to go into disarray when players start losing...losing their bankroll, losing their rag, losing their confidence and losing face, but these bonds between us are what keeps this forum alive so it's so important to keep the cogs turning...
"it feels like we've forgotten we're so much more than the sum of all the things that belong to us"
At least two players that I both respect, admire and love to read their diaries have written posts about battling demons this month and it seems there has been more than a small amount of sensitivity, scratchiness, insensitivy and lack of awareness rippling through other areas of the forum over the last month too.
It's not nice to see people in difficulty or busting or tilting or in any kind of pain but it is nice to read these kind of posts and realise that we're not alone, there is so much here that binds us...
"There's always been heroes and there's always been villains and the stakes may have changed but there's really no difference. There's always been greed and heartbreak and ambition and bravery and love and trespass and contrition - we're the same beings that began, still living, in all of our fury and foulness and friction, everyday odysseys, dreams and decisions, the stories are there if you listen"
So when it came down to the end of the month yesterday and everything went against me and I lost a huge chunk, it felt pretty contrite and more than a little ironic that I ended the month on a profit of £0.16!
"Just when I think something's ending, the beginning comes back"
BR £101.79
PROFIT + £0.16
2485PP
"We must stay hopeful; we must stay patient - because when they excavate the modern day they'll find us: the Brand New Ancients. See - all that we have here is all that we've always had"
Month 2, let's go!
Keep it up 22.
What have I learnt...hmmm you have to take the rough with the smooth, if I play low stakes I have to accept a comparatively small BR movement (more boring, less fun), if I play higher it's more exciting and fun but also depressing and very swingy.
I'm trying to learn to let go, not worry too much about results and not put pressure on myself and I'm definitely getting better at that
I'm happy at the levels I play at, I'd just like to be bankrolled for them! Tourneys from £5-£33 and CASH from 20NL-50NL. I don't aspire to play higher.
Well, October was a funny old month...yes I certainly enjoyed it! I got loads of ducks of the days and had an exciting time playing cash and making some new friends. Tourneys were mostly frustrating but that's how it goes. It was very sad to stop the Duck vs Dev challenge and obviously not great going bust and then ending breakeven. You have to remember I wouldn't get the big jump up in profit (as well as the lows) if I didn't play the higher stakes, so life would altogether be much more boring.
I'm trying to find a balance...I'm not doing great as yet!
My aim is to build up a smallish BR (ideally around £850) and will continue to be that, but I'm not on a timescale and I'm learning as I go. To be honest October was incredible in the respect that I only had to redeposit once, so for me it was a resounding success!
Hopefully November will be as entertaining.
GL to you, of course I won't stop posting!
It's hard because well, I wouldn't have got up to say £200+ without playing 30NL so to lose it at 30NL shouldn't be such a shock.
I play to win and I want to make money so it isn't nice losing, but you're right a breakeven month at the stakes I played is a huge success!
Thanks Craig, all the best in your quest! x
I'm going to try and do it...a whole month away from 50NL, just for you!!
Huge GL to you tonight, I 100% believe you can do it! I'll try to watch if I can
Ducky x
I've tried the capped games a few times but really disliked them, not so much room for bluffing and people calling off "all-ins" very light because it's not so much money...
You're right about playing MTTs, they're my fav but I'm enjoying CASH more and more these days (despite splaffing loads away in Oct!) so gonna keep up with a mixture but fingers crossed I can keep myself off the higher stakes
GL you too!
Terrible weekends play, with my BR trickling down and down and down and down into an abyss of almost bustoness...
Managed to snap myself out of it and switched to £5.50 DYMs and started to recover. Had a nice run and a little boost in a £5.75 BH this avo so back up to a fairly decent amount
BR £75.51
PROFIT - £26.12
132PP
Busto? Been playing 500nl?
Thanks for popping by last night