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A couple take on an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath but she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.....
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.. So the girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday...
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched as the girl got undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair, and told her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said, "Next week I'll leave a gap in the curtains so that you can see for yourself."
The following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked, "Do you shave?"
"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hairs down there. Do you have hairs?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she showed off her hairy m'uff.
When the girl went to bed the husband came in, and the wife asked, "Did you see it?"
"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."
"Why not?" she said. "You've seen it before."
"I know," he said,
"but the darts team hadn't !!"
What's the truth about partnerships?
I guess the reason I feel so passionately about this is because many otherwise sophisticated players don't fully grasp the threat that poker partnerships pose. For those who don't quite understand what we're talking about here, this is it. Poker is supposed to be a game where each opponent plays purely in his own self-interest. If that doesn't happen, then massive and wholly unethical advantages go to those who violate this tacit agreement.
How do you go about taking advantage of opponents by playing with a partner?
Good question, and not one I'm going to answer. I think we'd be surprised, if we dissected the workings of most everyday partnerships, to find just how inept they really are. In live games they probably raise each other sometimes when folding is correct and fold sometimes when raising is correct. Fine. We're guessing that these teams are not all made up of nuclear physicists. So what? Some, I'm betting are composed of very bright people. But the sad part is that even the most inept teams (if any exist) - teams that do nothing more than secretly signal each other and then play only the best hand among the team - can eat through your bankroll like moths amongst your t-shirts.
However, teams online are a completely different kettle of fish, or in this case sharks. Their favourite haunts are the six seater cash games, using laptops from the same room or using 'skype'or mobile phones, messenger , even some use the chat box at the table in some sort of code (jeez)
Public casinos today, run by honorable management, are the safest places for poker. Often, teams of cheats will simply avoid casinos governed by strong management with strong surveillance and knowledgeable players.
We need to give casinos whatever weapons they require to target partnerships without management fearing repercussions. You can go years to prison for robbing a shop or store of £100 and there's virtually no penalty for conspiring to rob poker opponents of thousands or millions !
The biggest problem today lays with the Online Card Rooms .. Security is good in most cases, however they rely in the main on customers contacting them with suspicion's before they act !! Beware !!
Is there a problem Vince, do you think you should get your medication checked, your always on my case whatever I post !!
Nancy, the ultimate Real Lady
To: John Hinckley
From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan
My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know that we bear no grudge against you for shooting President Reagan. We are fully aware that mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation.
We're confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive man.
Best wishes,
Nancy Reagan & Family
P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look into that !!
Thanks Benny!!!
You posted some wild, unfounded and inaccurate allegations.
I'm not feeling uncomfortable about what ive said about collusion, and I'm not not playing with partners either, so my conscience is clear ..
If you'd like to try and find one and forward it to me, I'd be obliged.
I certainly didn't play ANY part in him being banned.
I don't know why he was banned and, since Sky Poker don't divulge their reasons, I'd be surprised if you did.
You sure seem to like muck-raking though.
I have NEVER indulged in it and never worried myself about others doing it.
You seem to be making wild allegations again.
So your saying you never PM'd me about why I was defending MickJenn ?
Yes Barry - I'm almost 100% about that.
You seem to be confusing two different people.
As I said, I'm pretty sure I've NEVER PM'ed you about MickJenn.
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
+1
x
I suspect that you will waste a lot of time looking for it, though.
Was laughing at the joke...not your disagreement!!!!
Apologies for any offence! Note to self....Should read the whole thread and not just the last post!!!!
x
1. It's common decency
2. People might be interested in the source so that they can then read more
3. I have no idea about copyright but it's better to be safe than sorry.
You then launched into a series of remarkable incorrect allegations.
Tournament Complete
Finished at 19:25 - 15 May
This is a TV-only game
Rebuys/Addons available
Kissy kissy make up time guys.
Well here we are, finally and the last chapter of what has been a great adventure.
I did say to SkyRich I wouldn't post the usual 'I'm leaving thread", but then I couldn't just disappear without saying goodbye to some lovely people and good friends I've made along the way ..
Special mention to the Sky-team all of you, the show is always entertaining , love it and never miss when analyst Trevor Harris is on (Mr Cool himself) but then the show is always good and I guess thats down to Sky Claire ..
So, Ive decided to get my 'backside' back out on the road playing at TC's in Maidenhead and when possible G Casino Luton..
To all of you who have read and hopefully enjoyed the X files, sorry but it's time to call it a day.
I'll still be writing sports stuff elsewhere but I feel it's time for change, so good luck to everyone maybe we'll meet at a live event somewhere and have a drink.. Oh mines a malt and dont worry about spilling a little extra in the glass !!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywEcf9D2sU4
Good bye, and may your Gods go with you .. Bennydip2 (Barry)
" when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, you find it more probable and that must be the truth ?