One of the main skills needed to be a good poker player is decision-making. Some really talented players make great decisions at the table and then much worse ones away from them. As always, go for the holy grail of all poker advice - manage your poker bankroll honestly. If you take a hit, move down and work your way back up. If you run good, progress but in line with the size of the roll. If you do that and get the momentum going, you get all the buzz you need in life from winning at the game.
Good luck at the tables and focus on your strengths which, according to your peers on here, is bashing up the cash games.
This thread is the most disgraceful thing I have ever read on these fora. It's a sad fact of the internet that someone pours their heart out and 0.5 seconds behind are the people lining up to stick the boot in. The honesty shown by the OP is a far more worthy trait in a human being than the smugness and schadenfreude on display here. We all make mistakes, what defines you as a human is how you learn from them. Good luck to IDCU. Several people here should be ashamed of themselves.
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Calling mods: please close/delete thread.