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Bennydip2 (X Files) "The Truth Is Out There"?
Benny's Thoughts On Poker !!
To learn to understand a tournament poker players life you have to look at, or imagine the life of a boxer in the ring. From the first bell, when he is sparring and jabbing, feeling his opponents out, looking to go the distance and finally looking to land the knock out punch.
In many ways there are similarities from the beginning when your starting out learning your trade to the end , when maybe you become the world or european champion, or, you fall by the wayside, another contender !
You have to take the bumps, use the ropes, roll with the punches and take the breaks when the bell rings and above all you need patience and a big heart.
Confidence is of course the major part in any boxers time in the ring and the same has to be said of a winning tournament poker player .
In both sports there have been great champions on their day, but how many also ran, how many could have been a contender if only they had done the homework, the training, practiced the moves and learnt their trade !!
In any sport psychology is probably the biggest factor and good psychology is about forming good habits !!...
Bad habits are like a disease and losing can become a habit and after a while you start to accept losing, it becomes a habit !!
However if you make good habits, it can help you to win, all of a sudden winning can become a habit !!!....
So, as in all sports and life itself, ultimately we must take control of what we do, form good habits ,change things when we're losing, dont let losing become a habit because that is the quickest way to 'The Poker Hospital' !! ........
Now where was i ........?? oyi oyi Nurse !!!!!!
Bennydip2 !
In many ways there are similarities from the beginning when your starting out learning your trade to the end , when maybe you become the world or european champion, or, you fall by the wayside, another contender !
You have to take the bumps, use the ropes, roll with the punches and take the breaks when the bell rings and above all you need patience and a big heart.
Confidence is of course the major part in any boxers time in the ring and the same has to be said of a winning tournament poker player .
In both sports there have been great champions on their day, but how many also ran, how many could have been a contender if only they had done the homework, the training, practiced the moves and learnt their trade !!
In any sport psychology is probably the biggest factor and good psychology is about forming good habits !!...
Bad habits are like a disease and losing can become a habit and after a while you start to accept losing, it becomes a habit !!
However if you make good habits, it can help you to win, all of a sudden winning can become a habit !!!....
So, as in all sports and life itself, ultimately we must take control of what we do, form good habits ,change things when we're losing, dont let losing become a habit because that is the quickest way to 'The Poker Hospital' !! ........
Now where was i ........?? oyi oyi Nurse !!!!!!
Bennydip2 !
Comments
Works with things like chess and tabletennis.... tell a boxer he is the same as a chess player... go on dares u
The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog & her cat.
The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.
"That's a nice Fire Engine," the firefighter said with admiration. Thanks," Michelle replied.
The firefighter looked a little closer & noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar & to the cat's testicles.
"Little partner," the firefighter said "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
Michelle replied thoughtfully,
"You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren." !!!!
I like a little Country and Western song now and again !
click on link
http://www.tagtele.com/v/11924
You pinched my idea, I was goin to start a jokes thread...lol
and, because they are 'THE' 7 Dwarfs,
they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.
"Grumpy, my son," says the Pope,
"What can I do for you?"
Grumpy asks, "Excuse me your
Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?"
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd
question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Grumpy,
there are no dwarf nuns in Rome ."
In the background, a few of the dwarfs
start giggling. Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing
them.
Grumpy turns back, "Your Worship, are
there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?"
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a
moment and then answers, "No, Grumpy, there are no
dwarf nuns in Europe ."
This time, all of the other dwarfs burst
into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy turns around and
silences them with an angry glare.
Grumpy turns back and says, "Mr. Pope!
Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"
The Pope, really confused by the questions
says, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns
anywhere in the world."
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap,
rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down
their cheeks, as they begin chanting........
"Grumpy screwed a penguin!"
"Grumpy screwed a penguin!" !!!
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls, some cardboard and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I said to my wife as she was going shopping to bring back a pack of cigarettes, and she came back with a packet of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she.
Dear Tide:
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am almost forty and with kids, I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!
In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my lawyer called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through pre-menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.
Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.
Yours Gratefully,
Marjory
Eleven People on a Rope
Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter. Ten men and one woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to let go, because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping
One night,
as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist
appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. and says,
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too ???'
If Tom Watson wins the Golf Open !!!
This was Tom (left) with Jack Nicklaus as they fought out 'the dual in the sun" at Turnberry in 1977 !!
C'mon me old cock-er a 70 will do ya !!!!
benny
My mate Shane phoned, and said, " Benny i got to tell ya this", "Well you know what a good church going soul that i am, i got to tell about the congregation and the talk of the Vicar's Salary"
"What" I said !!! "The Vicar's Salary"
Shane goes on, "At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more"
.
"There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popula|" .
"Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Slough and Windsor, stands up and proclaims":
'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
"Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says,
'If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!'
More sighs and loud applause.
Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,
'If the Vicar stays, I will give him s e x.' !!!!!
There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her:
'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'
Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, ?? and he said, 'F ~ c k him' !!
......I dropped the phone !!
your horses come in?
The class of Tom Watson though as he lets Stuart Cink take the applause for his First Major !!
Brilliant story !!
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their
local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "
Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the
newcomer. Part of the way around the course, one of the friends asked
the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hit man," was the reply.
"You're joking!" was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a
beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "
Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "
Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see
right in the window."... "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha,
I can see she's naked!!
Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her...... He's naked, too!!!"
He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars each time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
"Sure, what do you want?"
"First, shoot my wife; she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.
Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, but shoot his d i c k off to teach him a lesson."
The hit man lifted the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" said the guy impatiently.
"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly,
"I think I can save you a grand here. ." !!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~
Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
Drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was
Already asleep.
He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke, he
Found a strange man standing at the end of his bed. 'Who the f~ck are
You?', demanded Dave, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom ?'
The mysterious man answered, 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter.' !!!
Dave was stunned. 'You mean I'm dead !!! That can't be, I have so much
To live for - and I haven't said goodbye to my family. . .. You've got
To send me back straight away.'
St Peter replied, 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'
Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
House, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking
Around, pecking the ground.
'This ain't so bad', he thought until he felt this strange feeling
Welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said,
'So you're the new hen, How are you enjoying your first day here ?'
'It's not so bad', replies Dave, 'but I have this strange feeling
Inside like I'm about to explode.'
'You're ovulating', explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never
Laid an egg before.'
'Never', replies Dave.
'Well just relax and let it happen'.
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops
Out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him
And his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood
For the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
And he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that
Ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg,
he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head
and heard his wife Shouting...
'Dave, wake up, you drunken bassar ',
'You've s h i t the bed !!'
I was trying to find out about flight cost's, when someone told me (nothing to do with the flight ) that women with
silicone implants run a high risk of them exploding at high altitude !!!
I wont be sitting next any women with big " t i t's" then !!!!
The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher Insisted on NO baby talk!
You need to use 'Big People' words,' she was always reminding them.
She asked John what he had done over the weekend?
'I went to visit my Nana'.... No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER.
Use 'Big People' words!'
She then asked Mitchell what he had done
'I took a ride on a choo-choo'. She said. 'No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.
You must remember to use 'Big People' words'.
She then asked little Alex what he had done? 'I read a book' he replied.
That's WONDERFUL!' the teacher said. 'What book did you read?'
( I love this.....)
Alex thought real hard about it,
Then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said,
'Winnie the S H I T'. ...... !!!
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employee had not phoned in sick one day.
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
'Hello ? '
'Is your daddy home?' he asked.
' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?'
The child whispered, ' No .'
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?'
'Yes.'
'May I talk with her?'
Again the small voice whispered, 'No .'
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'
' Yes ,' whispered the child, ' a policeman '.
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'
' No, he's busy ', whispered the child.
'Busy doing what?'
' Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ,' came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'
' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.
'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, ' The search team just landed a helicopter .'
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
'ME' ...
Interview with Benny
Q People say you have a way of being offensive ,, ?
Benny .. .. yeah It's a gift I have !!!!!!
Q Who's your favourite Lady singer
A hmmm, At the moment .. Amy Winehouse !!
Q Who's your favourite poker player on Sky-Poker
A I'd like to say MickJenn and Richard Orford (funny guys) but the gal who's running hot for me !!
(that doesn't sound right) but it has to be ....Anjie1970
Star !! Keep doing what your doing Anjie1970 !!
Sharksbite.... Class !!
With the start of the GUKPT coming up at Luton starting 1st aug, i have been looking at what events i'll be playing. At the moment it will be be Sat 1st, Wed 5th and Thurs 6th of August.. all 100 freezeouts, any results in those or Satellite's and I'll play the 1000 big one !
It's about this time of year when i like to get to Luton and the 'Vic' in London, it seems to me the late summer and Autumn is the time to be out playing live tournament's !!
What I'd like to do again is try and qualify online for another crack at the EPT events through online satellites so it should be a busy few months now for poker ..
If anyone gets the chance for these EPT event's, go for it, they are the best tournaments ive ever played in, meeting up with old friends from all over Europe and mate's like Mike McGee, Roy Brindley , Richard Ashby and many others.
So if you dont see me around these tables much over the next few months, it's not because i don't love you all, it's because i'll be trying to qualify for EPT events somewhere !! But i will keep you up to date with some jokes as i hear them.
This my gal Dotty, (for those of you who have asked at the tables ) now retired (won 22 races) sat by me here now !!
"Walkies"
Realising that this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said,
'Do you know what your @rsehole is doing while you're having an
or'gasm ?'
She replied,
(i luv this)
'Probably fishing with his mates.' !!!!!!
Our super sleuth from SPY Poker recently took this photo of Mick Jenn 2 weeks into a holiday in Turkey......Needless to say, he'd forgotten to take his laptop!!!!