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Officer Drivel...?

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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
     Pop Royal bites the dust.!
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
    There's a Chemist Shop in our High Street sell's Drugs ......... I've informed the Police.
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
    Laughing till the end ....... Victoria Wood ....... and did......... her Hostess Trolley collapsed.!   R.I.P.
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  • pompeynicpompeynic
    edited April 2016
    In Response to Re: The Dark Room:
    Laughing till the end ....... Victoria Wood ....... and did......... her Hostess Trolley collapsed.!   R.I.P.
    Posted by goldon
     I always remember the line "beat me on the bottom with a womans weekly" with great fondness.
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
    In Response to Re: The Dark Room:
    In Response to Re: The Dark Room :  I always remember the line "beat me on the bottom with a woman's weekly" with great fondness.
    Posted by pompeynic
     "Audience with Victoria Wood"   Her ditty  Lets do it.!   Bend me over backwards on me Hostess trolley.
    Left you with the image in your mind .... she got standing ovation.   
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
                                         "BUCKET LIST"


    Can't be bothered.............. Bucket.!       
             
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
    Re- considered as you all want to know........ ?

    Bucket. Red
    Bucket. with hole
    Bucket. blue
    Bucket. and spade
    Bucket. no handle
    Bucket. to kick
    Bucket. my neighbour borrowed
    Bucket. with washing in
    Bucket. to pee in


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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
    Below is a list of my Friends.
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
       My Problems are non contagious.
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
    I told a "FIB" my Gambling  ..... " Problem " ...... is very Contagious.   You could already have been .............. infected. !
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
     I have now Subscribed to National Geographic Magazine ...... Did you know Pygmy people live in Central Africa.?
     That Ronnie Corbett was the Love Child of Famous Footballer played for England and was Married to Pygmy Princess when his Teams Plane crash landed in the Amaz Oops!

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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016


     England Football team flying to Australia for World Cup Match crash land in Australian Outback and taken prisoner by Tribe of Aborigines. The Chief tells them there is a shortage of Aboriginal Men in the tribe and they each have to Marry Aboriginal Women or swim across Crocodile infested river to be free.  The women are lined up and are the ugliest you have ever seen.  There's loud splash and all the team but one jump in the River and are eaten by the Croc's ..... one player left say's " Hello Girls" I'm    " Wayne Rooney"  
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
     Go Away ...... there is nothing to see here but sad old married man with three sets of quads to support.


     I re-cycle old Jokes from tour-de-France .........  king of the pill .......... mellow jersey ...... pillatron.
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
                                      "DON'T  GET  OLD"

        When Your Young                                          When Your Old

    When your Young you Play with yourself...... ?  When your Old you talk to yourself. !
    When your Young you can't get out of bed.....  When your Old you wet the bed.?
    When your Young you don't have any money... When your Old you hoard your money.!
    When your Young you make name 4 yourself ... When Old your forget your name.
    When your Young you sleep around ....      When your Old you sleep in the armchair .
    When your Young you have lots of Friends.....When your Old you say goodbye to your Friends
    When your Young you have Full Life ahead ....  When your Old you have the afterlife ahead.

    If your young at Heart your never Old .
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
                                             "RECYCLE MORE RUBBISH"



     Make your Local Borough Council proud of you.!   All-in any Two off suit cards. ?  Don't bin em.... Bing em.
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  • goldongoldon
    edited April 2016
    Richard Branson for "Prime Minister"  gives free flights to Couple that booked wrong Birmingham flight.

    Chucks in 5 day stay top Hotel.  Brill Bloke
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
     Are inland Seagulls the new Pigeon !  Roof tops full of them.
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
    Neighbour has state of the art Petrol Lawn Mower when he saw me cutting my grass with my push mower he got it out fired it up and started to cut his grass. He shouted over you should get one of these. Few minutes later it spluttered to a stop and he spent the next hour trying to get it going.  I finished my grass and offered to lend him my push mower.  Well! the air was blue, was told where to stick it.  Some people you can't help. !  He did get it going eventually.   
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
    Thought for the Day .......... if your going up a one way street, where are you going.?


    The Wrong Way.!    jus; checking yur avin a peep.?
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
    I can win at poker with my eye's shut............ then I wake up and I'm out.!
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
    Dry dreams ...... chill ?
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
    Old age comes to us all ......... lust becomes cuddles .!
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
    mid- night exercise is the best ......... better than running round the block. !

     Memo; to myself     "Must stop posting when drunk." "Falling asleep during big blinds."
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  • paige55paige55
    edited May 2016
    In Response to Re: The Dark Room:
    mid- night exercise is the best ......... better than running round the block. !  Memo; to myself     "Must stop posting when drunk." "Falling asleep during big blinds."
    Posted by goldon
    LOL XXX
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  • paige55paige55
    edited May 2016
    In Response to Re: The Dark Room:
    Old age comes to us all ......... lust becomes cuddles .!
    Posted by goldon
    So True (:(:(:
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  • hhyftrftdrhhyftrftdr
    edited May 2016
    In Response to Re: The Dark Room:
    In Response to Re: The Dark Room : So True (:(:(:
    Posted by paige55
    Sometimes the room just isn't dark enough.
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
    In Response to Re: The Dark Room:
    In Response to Re: The Dark Room : Sometimes the room just isn't dark enough.
    Posted by hhyftrftdr
    Dark Matter exists. !   Steven will tell you.?

    not Hawkins ...... King.
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
     "Britain's got Talent" with Simon Cowell utter rubbish.  

     "Britain's got Talent"   Young Musician of the Year .... yes ....  see finalists next week and get some Sax in your life.!
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
    Anyone watch "Police Interceptors"  they chase stolen van which side swipes other cars during the chase which involves Helicopter half the Met force flying around side streets where any one could have been killed, then eventually he crashes, taking out two parked cars and wrecking the van. What did all that lot cost and will he get 12 years.?   Nope!
    He got 6months suspended sentence 5 point on licence banned for two years. Gosh! that will stop him doing it again.!
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  • goldongoldon
    edited May 2016
    My Phone Answer Machine said,  "You have no Messages"  at least someone talks to me.!

    Why does the phone always ring when your in the Loo.?

    The door bell when you're in the bath.!
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