Officer Drivel...?

goldon

 You pay all that Money for a New Carpet and it ends up in the Hoover. Guess what I've been doing today.?

goldon

What's the best contraceptive ?  Well !  found out at the Annual Firms Christmas Bash ? The Union Rep hired a Stripper, we all expected tasty bird so got front seats. Blimey !  She was twenty stone had flab hanging everywhere put me off rumpy pumpy for life.!   The Image is implanted in my brain. ? Never call the wife fat again.

goldon

  The Best things in Life are free ....... Walk in the Park.   ...... grope in the dark.?

goldon

Legend's are Mortal ....... immortal's are Legend's ...... in the Human Race we are all racists. Disease does not see Race Colour or Religion.   Life goes.!  Life goes on.   Disease is a lottery ?  Lottery is a disease. !

goldon

  Standing Room Only.

goldon

Read any good Book's lately  ....... Well this one intrigued me.   "Living with Piles"


Ok!  is it about having the Medical Condition. ! nope.     Having lot's of money.!  nope?


 It's  ... yes .......  "Underpinning your house." 


Just what I needed for quiet evening in, nothing on telly,  br busted.

goldon

 Thinking of naming my house "Banksy"  he might come and paint picture on my wall.  ?

goldon

In Response to Re: The Dark Room:

In Response to Re: The Dark Room : You may be better off asking muriel, shes cheaper.
Posted by chilling

But is her pictures worth thousands of pounds like "Banksy"     I would have hole in the wall but money in the Bank'sy

goldon

 
LUST

TRUST

BUST

CUSS

Another day in the life of Poker

goldon

  "Don't Forget" to Water the Plants & Flower Pots .......  Oops!    Thank goodness for Mother Nature. 

goldon

  Crocodile Tears!

 Anyone been to the Hygienist lately and got the Failed Dentist trainee who now charges £49.00 yes! quid for 30 minutes clean.

 Mm!   Got the Wrong bird ........ me finks, needed the one that goes inside the Crocodiles jaws while it sleeps and cleans its teeth,!   4 nothing.?

goldon

 My Tisticals have'nt got an Ego  ....... should I be worried.?

goldon

 Should we be worried that if we leave the EU ....  we will lose jobs,  small businesses close,  high un-employment late trains buses not running the N.H.S. struggling to cope,  sick people in corridors and the police unable to catch criminals,  prisons over crowded everyone who can work on benefits,  fat cat Lawyers Politicians getting fatter being invaded with Immigrants , terrorists having British passports .   we can't let that happen.!

Oops !  that's what its like now. ? 

goldon

 Not sure how or which way to vote.?  take a pen with you ............ always wondered why polling stations only supply pencils.!

goldon

Last one to leave bolt the door close the curtains.!

goldon

There is no greater sacrifice than to die for your Country.    Vote ......... remain.

goldon

In Response to Re: The Dark Room:

Its funny how the affluent want to stay in.  Am i missing something? Ah yes, loadsa wealth
Posted by chilling

In 4 a Penny ...... in 4 a Pound. !

goldon

Leave the sinking ship. ?

goldon

 Will the Country bottle out or in like Scotland.?  Been to vote with my biro.

goldon

KEEP  CALM and CARRY ON

goldon

Next Vote ............. fill the Channel Tunnel in .... or .... make it one way. ?

goldon

 Blimey forgotten how many feet are in a Inch & is it 13 to the Dozen.?

goldon

Wall Street crash investor's jumping out of windows thats serious ! 

"The Grapes of Wrath"

 

Leaving the EU   "The Yellow Brick road."

 

goldon

In Response to Re: The Dark Room:

In Response to Re: The Dark Room : This fall in the market is just colonic irrigation........... a little messy.     No not the footballer.
Posted by chilling

Don't mention Football.   sore subject.!

VespaPX

In Response to Re: The Dark Room:

In Response to Re: The Dark Room : Don't mention Football.   sore subject.!
Posted by goldon

From what i saw we dont play it anyway

Carry on regardless

goldon

In Response to Re: The Dark Room:

In Response to Re: The Dark Room : From what i saw we dont play it anyway Carry on regardless
Posted by VespaPX

Fat Cat's can't climb fences.  

goldon

So The Mad Scientist touring the Country with Boris the Chimp !   got the result.?     "Should we be worried"  could he become PM  he's already PM  Pri Mate  but Prime Minister of the UK.  Mm!

Only History can tell ....... remember  "Claudius" .... Rome though him the fool only for him to survive the cull to become one of the longest lasting and best served Emperors of the Era ? Will Boris make the grade.!  Having him fronting the Leave campaign was considered joke by Cameron but who's laughing now.

goldon

Give a little "Whistle" ...... now we've left the Politically correct Mad People can we now whistle after the Girls.? 

Scaffolder's & Builders told " You can't whistle at passing Women its sexist.  So, asked the wife would she be upset if Workmen whistled at her as she passed building site.!  she said, 
"Only if she turned around and it wasn't for her."   ?

goldon

So Boris the chimp has had his monkey nuts removed and no longer in the running.  Will it be Mr Magoo or "Blunder woman." ?

goldon

  I'm a Shaddow of the man I used to be.  Hank Marvin