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THE CHURCH OF DAZLER

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  • DazlerDazler
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER : Al he is Lucifer in disguise a fornicator of the first order he obsconded with the Church funds.  Don't give him credit.!
    Posted by logdon
    Lucifer in disguise how very dare you blasphemer. I only went off to invest the funds in vegas the mecca of poker and to return with enlightenment and give them all back to the sky poker community. Wheres the harm in that 0:)
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER : i havnt been to the shed for some reason but am pleasently surprised when i found your pub. Even us Fathers of the cloth like a good bevy so i shall be popping over for a drink and some pork scratchins at somepoint :) am i alowed to open up a tab MAXALLY you know im good for it, i swear on the poker bible 0:)
    Posted by Dazler
    Here is the deal. You are good for a tab as long as you pay it off every 3rd Sunday in the month. In return, I would like you to have a word with those upstairs to forgive at least 75% of my sins plus have a word with them poker gods to see if I could possibly have some of my run good back.

    CHEERS!
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER : Here is the deal. You are good for a tab as long as you pay it off every 3rd Sunday in the month. In return, I would like you to have a word with those upstairs to forgive at least 75% of my sins plus have a word with them poker gods to see if I could possibly have some of my run good back. CHEERS!
    Posted by MAXALLY
    ok 3rd sunday is fine for me as i will be in for a pint after the sunday serman with my flock. as long as you make the effort to come to the church on sunday and repent the sins you have done. Ill have a word with upstairs to give you a good run but in regards to that much sinning i can only forgive 25% for the good jesture of the tab the rest im affraid is only forgiven with repentance of your bad poker amoung other things. When you do that you can bath in the holy spring of the poker jacuzzi with a couple of my nuns 0:)
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited August 2011
    ok then all you boozers at als bar and all you other sinners i know going to Church is hard but if you come here and prey enough you might just win and run like god. PRAISE BE TO THE POKER GODS ALLAYYYYLOOOOYYAAAA


    IL0VEKITTY3360001£453.60 + 50 League PointsDazler02£263.76 + 46 League Pointstommygun1003£184.80 + 38 League Pointsgerrygurdl04£151.20 + 32 League Pointsshady96905£122.64 + 28 League PointsTashi06£100.80 + 24 League Pointsjoen07£84 + 20 League Pointsjawzindawz08£67.20 + 16 League 
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited August 2011



    Played from my lap top in AL's Bar last night :))

    MAXALLY03£25 + 8 Premiership League Points

    Sinners, drinkers and holy men unite!

    (nice result btw Daz. Just shocked to see a man of the cloth under a sign that says Ilovepussies)
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  • 67Bhoys67Bhoys
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    ok then all you boozers at als bar and all you other sinners i know going to Church is hard but if you come here and prey enough you might just win and run like god. PRAISE BE TO THE POKER GODS ALLAYYYYLOOOOYYAAAA IL0VEKITTY 336000 1 £453.60 + 50 League Points Dazler 0 2 £263.76 + 46 League Points tommygun10 0 3 £184.80 + 38 League Points gerrygurdl 0 4 £151.20 + 32 League Points shady969 0 5 £122.64 + 28 League Points Tashi 0 6 £100.80 + 24 League Points joen 0 7 £84 + 20 League Points jawzindawz 0 8 £67.20 + 16 League  
    Posted by Dazler
    The poker god doth move in mysterious ways, his wonders to provide for all the poor sinful folk that congregate in the Bar in the shed.

    May the spirits be kind to you.
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited August 2011
    I love pu.ss.ies yes i have 3 Church Pussie.s that curl up by the fire while reading the poker bible on an evening, And we all strive to be in a position of 'on top' but there is no shame in someone sitting 'on top' while we look up at them and stare into poker heaven as we look down on those who sit in poker hell! I just like to stroke my pus.s.ys and hear them purrrrrr its very satisfiying and good for the soul.

    I must say last night was a rather interesting night and all the poker sinners and demons were out in force calling with all kinds of rubbish like 93off and winning not on low stakes but around the £11 mark buy ins, i hope they realise if they continue this path of sin they will be punished i for one will be on a crusade this week to send them back from hense they came and burn there soulds in the fire and brimston of poker hell. I may need to perform an eskysorsism on some it will not be tolarated not on my watch. Let that be a warning to all you poker sinners i will not tolerate such terrible play and devil luck, you may get lucky but i will get holy on your a.r.s.e eventulay.

    So i am calling all Crusaders to holy war WHOS' WITH ME. alllllll innnnnnnnnnnnn
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited August 2011
    Forgive me Father Dazler for i have Sinned. . .

    Lust:-       I have lusted after a main event win (12k bunty + head prizes).
    Gluttony:-   I have been Gluttonous in pot stealing with an all in raise with a 72off heads up.
    Greed:-      I have been greedy playing main and mini tournements in the hope of "douing the double"
    Sloth:-      I have become slothful by becoming a couch potato due to MTT's.
    Wrath:-      I have become wrathful by losing AKs to AA heads up and being so stubborn i would not yeild the game . . .
    Envy:-       I have and still am envious of those that FT the main events.
    Pride:-      I have been wilfully pridefull of being given the honour of railing TKPer's

    On top of the 7 deadly sins i have also sinned in the following way Father...


    I have prayed to a false god to let a member of an oposing faction win a game - see below...

    IL0VEKITTY    336000    1    £453.60 + 50 League Points
    Dazler    0    2    £263.76 + 46 League Points
    tommygun10    0    3    £184.80 + 38 League Points
    gerrygurdl    0    4    £151.20 + 32 League Points
    shady969    0    5    £122.64 + 28 League Points
    Tashi    0    6    £100.80 + 24 League Points
    joen    0    7    £84 + 20 League Points
    jawzindawz    0    8    £67.20 + 16 League


    I have worshipped "TV STARS" "wiiiiiiiiiiii Scouse_red" "tikay" in the hope it would improve my game.
    I have had 0ty thoughts brought on by 67bhoys - until i knew what a "rub down" actually was. . .
    I have slacked in cooking my husband dinner (due to playing in ME) wiiiiiiiiii pizza ftw!
    I knowingly let other players bet themselves out of the games when i knew i had them beaten!
    I used inducing bets to get other players to think i was weak when i acctually held the "nuts"
    I have check trapped players into making raises knowing i would push "All In" (praise be!)
    I have been surly to a player that was being rude to a member of TKP. . . 
    I have been presumptuous, i kept calling Trip5 sir in the belief she was male.. .Sorry Hurricaine!
    I have sought out players from TPT as i know they will bet there stacks off for flush draws. . .
    I have not shared the vision of the "Church of Dazler" with friends becuase i want your wisdom to save MY soul. . . .


    Praise Be "All In"
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited August 2011
    Quietly i am very impressed that you have come to the Poker Church of Dazler to repent all of your sins! its a very long list indeed, the seven deadly sins can effect us all generaly not all at the same time as in your case, mine generaly are drinking, smoking, girls, cussing, poker and lazyness! but we all have our vices to overcome. Preying to false gods can be debatable as there is only one poker god and if you prey enough to him he will give you the strength to win and play well. Preying for Opposing team members is a good thing as they no not what they do and forgiveness to those who sin is a very kind hearted jesture, Scouse_red could be the devil him self in disguise and will tempt you into unpure thoughts of rubdowns! Do not fall for his charm! Tikay preaches to us all and will improve your poker so continue to listen to this prophet of poker and the path of enlightenment will be yours. Allways go looking for TPT members after flush draws and spead the good word to them as they do stray from the light on MTT's but forgive us our trespasses and those who trespass against us. The poker church is also a lot more modern now and Cross dressing avatars like TRIP5 is accepted in our church. Always spread the word of the church of Dazler with your friends and enemeys 'Quietly' and loudley and your soul will most certainly be saved. You have taken the path of righteousness and forgiveness and from this point in the name of the father the son and the holy poker spirits and a bottle of blue nun you are forgiven.

    Always remember to addmit to oneself his or her sins, you can be saved and play better! God bless you quietly and gl at the tables 0:) Allllllinnnnnnnnnn


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  • TREMAYNETREMAYNE
    edited August 2011
    pomfrittes Small blind  20.00 20.00 6582.50
    melvin1958 Big blind  40.00 60.00 8275.00
      Your hole cards
    • J
    • K
    		     
    chubbers Call  40.00 100.00 6970.00
    taylos711 Fold     
    TREMAYNE Raise  120.00 220.00 4847.50
    BARBIE59 Fold     
    pomfrittes Fold     
    melvin1958 Call  80.00 300.00 8195.00
    chubbers Fold     
    Flop
       
    • 2
    • 10
    • K
    		     
    melvin1958 Bet  300.00 600.00 7895.00
    TREMAYNE Raise  975.00 1575.00 3872.50
    melvin1958 Call  675.00 2250.00 7220.00
    Turn
       
    • 4
    		     
    melvin1958 Check     
    TREMAYNE Bet  520.00 2770.00 3352.50
    melvin1958 Raise  2165.00 4935.00 5055.00
    TREMAYNE Call  1645.00 6580.00 1707.50
    River
       
    • J
    		     
    melvin1958 All-in  5055.00 11635.00 0.00
    TREMAYNE All-in  1707.50 13342.50 0.00
    melvin1958 Unmatched bet  3347.50 9995.00 3347.50
    melvin1958 Show
    • 9
    • Q
    		   
    TREMAYNE Show
    • J
    • K
    		   
    melvin1958 Win Straight to the King 9995.00  13342.50
    Forgive me as this hand tilted me so bad I unreged from the totty and let my team down in the DTD
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited August 2011
    An Irish priest is driving down to Bristol and gets stopped for speeding in the center of town.   The policeman smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

    He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

    "Just water," says the priest.

    The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

    The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    pomfrittes Small blind   20.00 20.00 6582.50 melvin1958 Big blind   40.00 60.00 8275.00   Your hole cards J K       chubbers Call   40.00 100.00 6970.00 taylos711 Fold         TREMAYNE Raise   120.00 220.00 4847.50 BARBIE59 Fold         pomfrittes Fold         melvin1958 Call   80.00 300.00 8195.00 chubbers Fold         Flop     2 10 K       melvin1958 Bet   300.00 600.00 7895.00 TREMAYNE Raise   975.00 1575.00 3872.50 melvin1958 Call   675.00 2250.00 7220.00 Turn     4       melvin1958 Check         TREMAYNE Bet   520.00 2770.00 3352.50 melvin1958 Raise   2165.00 4935.00 5055.00 TREMAYNE Call   1645.00 6580.00 1707.50 River     J       melvin1958 All-in   5055.00 11635.00 0.00 TREMAYNE All-in   1707.50 13342.50 0.00 melvin1958 Unmatched bet   3347.50 9995.00 3347.50 melvin1958 Show 9 Q       TREMAYNE Show J K       melvin1958 Win Straight to the King 9995.00   13342.50 Forgive me as this hand tilted me so bad I unreged from the totty and let my team down in the DTD
    Posted by TREMAYNE
    we all try to do our best and certain things can tilt us over the edge im sure your team m8's will forgive you if not you can always join the plonkers :) im also guilty of not playing properly for the blue team as i was in the middle of watching a movie with the vicar of dibbley and went out quickly so i could watch the rest. Let us both prey now and ask our teams for forgivness im sure they will understand 0:) alllllinnnnn
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  • 67Bhoys67Bhoys
    edited September 2011
    Bless me Dazler for I have sinned. 

    I met an airhostess in Als bar, and after a few G&Ts, she tried to convert me to the poker dark side.  With her womanly guile, and after a few beers,  she has persuaded me that I should join her for mile high rub downs by going Allllliiiin Praise be!!! pre flop with 7 2 offsuit, then showing them to my opponents for the rub down.

    Should I give in to this temptress?

    Allllllliiiiin Praise be!!
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited September 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    Bless me Dazler for I have sinned.  I met an airhostess in Als bar, and after a few G&Ts, she tried to convert me to the poker dark side.  With her womanly guile, and after a few beers,  she has persuaded me that I should join her for mile high rub downs by going Allllliiiin Praise be!!! pre flop with 7 2 offsuit, then showing them to my opponents for the rub down. Should I give in to this temptress? Allllllliiiiin Praise be!!
    Posted by 67Bhoys

    Short Answer - YES       "praise be all in"  :-))
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  • 67Bhoys67Bhoys
    edited September 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    Bless me Dazler for I have sinned.  I met an airhostess in Als bar, and after a few G&Ts, she tried to convert me to the poker dark side.  With her womanly guile, and after a few beers,  she has persuaded me that I should join her for mile high rub downs by going Allllliiiin Praise be!!! pre flop with 7 2 offsuit, then showing them to my opponents for the rub down. Should I give in to this temptress? Allllllliiiiin Praise be!!
    Posted by 67Bhoys
    My sins have increased threefold Father Dazler.  The initial Airhostess has returned to the bar with 2 other Airhostess.  All 3 are of the sinful type and have shoved pre with 72.  They are trying to corrupt my poker soul and want me to join them in their dasterdly sinful acts.

    How can I possibly resist these temptresseses, especially after a few beers when they begin to look not so bad. 

    Help before I get drawn into heaven knows what kind of debauchery!!

    PS.  The bar bill for these 3 is extortionate.
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited September 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER : My sins have increased threefold Father Dazler.  The initial Airhostess has returned to the bar with 2 other Airhostess.  All 3 are of the sinful type and have shoved pre with 72.  They are trying to corrupt my poker soul and want me to join them in their dasterdly sinful acts. How can I possibly resist these temptresseses, especially after a few beers when they begin to look not so bad.  Help before I get drawn into heaven knows what kind of debauchery!! PS.  The bar bill for these 3 is extortionate.
    Posted by 67Bhoys
    I know brother they are a wicked pair but fear not i have been watching them very carefully and they have also tempted me into there debauchery! ive been up all night preying for all of our poker souls and bearing a great deal of regret for my sins and yours and theres. Ive been to the bar and its being run by a WOMEN! the Airhostesses are perposfully shoving all ins with 72 off suit. Its just gone to the dogs lately, and none of them have been to the church in over a week to ask for forgiveness! im beginning to think they might be possessed by the poker devil him/her self! All i can do at the moment is have some of my communial wine from the Church sellar and ask the holy spirit for guidence in this matter. Im thinking that some kind of exorsism may be needed.
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited September 2011
    forgive me lord for i have sinned as i made a really bad call and donked a hand, i promise this will not happen again, and i know you were looking out for me when this happend because of all the bad beat i had made on me today, i appologise to the player i did this too as he did not deserve this. I shall prey for him to win and get lucky as i did and i should know better and lead by example!
    PlayerActionCardsAmountPotBalance
    martoni0 Small blind   200.00 200.00 6547.50
    grandad_3 Big blind   400.00 600.00 12655.00
      Your hole cards
    • 7
    • A
    		     
    Dazler Raise   1200.00 1800.00 18907.50
    martoni0 All-in   6547.50 8347.50 0.00
    grandad_3 Fold        
    Dazler Call   5547.50 13895.00 13360.00
    martoni0 Show
    • A
    • J
    		     
    Dazler Show
    • 7
    • A
    		     
    Flop
       
    • 7
    • Q
    • A
    		     
    Turn
       
    • 5
    		     
    River
       
    • 8
    		     
    Dazler Win Two Pairs, Aces and 7s 13895.00   27255.00
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited September 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    forgive me lord for i have sinned as i made a really bad call and donked a hand, i promise this will not happen again, and i know you were looking out for me when this happend because of all the bad beat i had made on me today, i appologise to the player i did this too as he did not deserve this. I shall prey for him to win and get lucky as i did and i should know better and lead by example! Player Action Cards Amount Pot Balance martoni0 Small blind   200.00 200.00 6547.50 grandad_3 Big blind   400.00 600.00 12655.00   Your hole cards 7 A       Dazler Raise   1200.00 1800.00 18907.50 martoni0 All-in   6547.50 8347.50 0.00 grandad_3 Fold         Dazler Call   5547.50 13895.00 13360.00 martoni0 Show A J       Dazler Show 7 A       Flop     7 Q A       Turn     5       River     8       Dazler Win Two Pairs, Aces and 7s 13895.00   27255.00
    Posted by Dazler


    Dear Father,
       Attonement for your sins has not been achieved by prayer alone, you are in need of higher guidence "Praise Be All In" surely you must seek redemption in the skys and regain your holy wings with a 72 off All in, can you not see the virtue of added wings?  (~o~)
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  • bludreid11bludreid11
    edited September 2011

     i think i need some special forgivness,on wed freeroll at 1am,( having left als bar  in not a great state,) i enrolled into said tourney,at least 4 times i pushed all in with no hand,and rivered a winner. i dont know who the players were, but i can only imagine the names i was called.BUT if they called it must make them as bad as me.
    Also a warning to all members of als bar, when i left there the other night i was stopped by the police,they asked me where i was going to at 2am?? i said to a lecture about alchohol abuse and its effects on the older body, intriuged, the officer asked who would give a lecture at that time???


      THAT  WOULD BE THE     WIFE  I SAID
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  • HITMAN_RVHITMAN_RV
    edited September 2011
    I repent Father!!

    I Am just a Drunken B um, preteding to be a Husband, Father, Businessman, Team Captain, Pokerplayer[lol] & Good Egg!!

    please dont send me to Hades & support Chelscum for all Eternity!!

    I will do some Good, please forgive me!!
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited September 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    I repent Father!! I Am just a Drunken B um, preteding to be a Husband, Father, Businessman, Team Captain, Pokerplayer[lol] & Good Egg!! please dont send me to Hades & support Chelscum for all Eternity!! I will do some Good, please forgive me!!
    Posted by HITMAN_RV
    a man like you has many crosses to bear my brother. Do not fret as i am selling Holy Burgers with a free glass of holy comunial wine to wash it down with, one bite of this burger and a sip of this wine will free you of your burduns and give you a nice big fat belly like all the other Chelscum supporters 0:) god bless you my son and gl
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited February 2012
    Come on who has been sinning lately
    REPENT! AND BE SAVED.
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited February 2012


    Dear Father....

    I have been regularly frequenting a house of ill repute called AL's Bar. This place takes more of my hard earned money behind the bar than a typical Sky river card. I am in a quandary in what to do about it TBH. I am not sure why but I feel I belong there and there are some good folk that come in and say hello to me from time to time.

    So I need your honest advice.

    Do I....

    a) Carry on regardless?

    b) Spend/waste more money on poker &gambling than drink & women?

    or c) Start a diary?

    Thank you for your time......hic.
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited February 2012
    Well it may be a house of ill repute, but at least it keeps sinners that go there off the street and entertained. Id much rather see you all kick back after a long hard day of poker, and have a pint at your establishment. As you know i too have my demons when i come in and cant help but to try out the DRINK, DRINK, GIRLZ, DRINK and late night lock ins. But i always do it in the safty of your establishments and think you do a wonderfull job Barman. I have my church which you visit and you have your pub which i visit and thats how it should be. Dont feel guilty my son just keep the faith and i think you should A. Carry on regardless B. Spend All your winnings on Drink and Girlz as long as you keep a bit back for more stock in the pub and also dont forget to donate to The church of Dazler. As far as a diary is concerned its upto you just be carefull of what you put in it what happens in Als bar! Stays in Als bar! you understand?

    Bless you Brother Maxally 0:)
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited October 2012
    One holy bump 0:)
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  • annie_dukeannie_duke
    edited October 2012
    Praise de lord!!!
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  • DazlerDazler
    edited October 2012
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    Praise de lord!!!
    Posted by annie_duke
    Yay its annie_duke :) praise the lord!! 

    i knew bumping this would stir up an old reg not that your old or anything lol where on earth have you been :) please stay and post all your sins and frolicks we misses you x
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