You have big sheds but nobody's allowed in

NoseyBonk

Lexii - plural

borobabe09

  "I'm off to a BP garage for a mushroom slice"

NoseyBonk

Nice array of pasties

borobabe09

now now ppl, less of the po o statements purely for the purpose of freeroll apparently......ps not a partridge quote, just incase you was wondering

NoseyBonk

I think I would be more preoccupied by the fact that I was encountering a talking snake.

NoseyBonk

I like your berets. They're worn by SH*... Frank Spencer.... and the french.

* lol - can't say the S word or the H word on here - word censor gets them both lol :-D

unknown_username

Lynn, I was at a friend's house the other night. I was trying to make a phonecall, I thought there was something wrong with the phone. I'd been hitting 9, Lynn! I felt like a ruddy idiot! I just left, I couldn't stay there after that

unknown_username

I'm going nowhere, Lynn. quite literally, I'm on the ring road, third time round. I've just been into B&Q for a bag of tungsten-tipped screws. never gonna use em, never gonna use em

Quagmire72

Calm down Lynn! You're suffering from minor women's whiplash!

Quagmire72

You can stop giggling or i'll take down your particulars!

Quagmire72

Alan: Right back to classic rock, like Wings
Ben: Whose Wings
Alan: They're only the band the Beatles could've been!

NoseyBonk

Av ya put t'corpse under t'patio?

Quagmire72

In Response to Re: You have big sheds but nobody's allowed in:

Av ya put t'corpse under t'patio?
Posted by NoseyBonk

Happens he thinks I'm a right indecisive t!t!

NoseyBonk

I've got a chocolate marble arch.. it's very well rendered. Should have got them to do the house, better than these b*stards

NoseyBonk

If it wasn't for the telescopic dampers on all four corners of the caravan, that place would have been wobbling like a very rude house! .................. I say telescopic dampers I mean rigid stays.

unknown_username

Whats this? It's a cast-iron egg-tree, lacquered. Is that included? I mean, it's not a deal breaker but I would like to know.

Quagmire72

Do you realise there is no way i could have drawn a chalk pen!s on my back. Ask yourself two questions, how & why?

Sky_Rudolf

you might be surprised to hear i'm actually a massive AP fan.

"bloody blokes!"

Quagmire72

Alan Partridge: 'Sunday Bloody Sunday'. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think "Sunday, bloody Sunday!".
Aidan Walsh: I really hate to do this to you, Alan, but it's actually a song about...
Paul Tool: Yeah, bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre in Derry in 1972.
Alan Partridge: A massacre? Ugh. I'm not playing that again.

NoseyBonk

Tea or coffee, tea or coffee? Two teas please. You blonde ****** .... from the future. 




Nice chest.... but full of wires.

Quagmire72

While hosting his radio slot "Alan's Deep Bath" : "We're down to the final lather...just relax...there's a foamy bit on your shoulder - let's make it even more frothy with a squirt of light lemon liquid. Don't you feel good....careful not to fall asleep and slip under, there's some terrible statistics about that."

Quagmire72

After finishing a fry-up: "That's the best cooked breakfast I've had since Gary Wilmot's wedding"

unknown_username

If Jed and I are in the room at the same time I tend to do this... Just sort of lean on the wall

Quagmire72

In Response to Re: You have big sheds but nobody's allowed in:

If Jed and I are in the room at the same time I tend to do this... Just sort of lean on the wall
Posted by HuFlungPu

In response to Jed Maxwell wanting Alan to meet his brother - ‘No way you big spast!c, you're a mentalist!

Quagmire72

Alan:  Hello, Lynn, message from Alan. Idea for a television programme based on Michael Palin’s ‘Pole To Pole’. Except I circumnavigate the globe only driving through countries where they drive on the left.  And I do it in a lovely old Bullnose Morris. We could call it ‘Around The World With Alan Partridge In A Bullnose On The Left’. Oh, I’m sorry, Lynn. I think that is possibly the worst idea I have ever had.
I’m going nowhere, Lynn. Quite literally, I’m on the ring road. Third time round. I’ve just been into B&Q for a bag of tungsten-tipped screws. Never gonna use ‘em. Never gonna use ‘em. Meet me in the car park in half an hour, Lynn.

NoseyBonk

Stop laughing, you've broken your neck!

Quagmire72

After it is explained to Alan why jockeys are short in stature: ‘I see! That's why you never see people like Brian Blessed riding horses, it makes sense.’

unknown_username

I didn't want to be sick on the road. The cars might, you know, skid on it and crash

Sky_Rich

Yes! an extender

StuJohns

Sonia: Alan, I buy you another present.
Alan: What?
Sonia: It's a London....love taxi
Alan: Ahhh
Sonia: I have put my heart in back of taxi, and told driver to go to you.
Alan: Ahhh, don't know what you're talking about.