humpty dumpty was pushed

oynutter

  and i hear people say that the young people today are horrid--medieval children also have a lot to answer for

oynutter

this is my theory--humpty dumpty knew very well what the consequences of falling off a wall would be---he was a free range egg and therefore probably well experienced in the field---health and saftey regulations are extremely strict on egg producing premises and any wall that might be sat on by an egg would have been rigorously tested for its stability and a non-slip surface would undoubtedly have been fitted ---no egg in his right mind would have sat on that wall unless he knew for sure that the proper procedures had been followed to the letter and it was completely safe to do so----ask yourself this question---how many times have you heard the phrase " i could murder a boiled egg" ---what about a motive? i hear you ask---my theory is that whoever pushed humpty dumpty on that tragic day done so in the full knowledge that the chances of a broken egg being fixed by horses and knights in full armour was extemely slight, if not impossible---the motive behind this evil act was in fact just to see the kings horses and men trying to fix a broken egg---this would undoubtedly have been hilarious to witness---horses and men with chainmail gloves trying to fix an egg!!--hahahaha--i can almost hear the evil little laugh of this sadistic and callous killer --i expect he peed himself laughing!---so thats your motive!-- an evil little damien like child murdered this poor unsuspecting egg for the sheer fun of it--he knew that no vets, doctors or master-craftsmen were in the vicinity and this despicable act was perpetrated purely for its entertainment value------there---now you know---disgusting isnt it?

Ozzie08

In Response to humpty dumpty was pushed:

this is my theory--humpty dumpty knew very well what the consequences of falling off a wall would be---he was a free range egg and therefore probably well experienced in the field---health and saftey regulations are extremely strict on egg producing premises and any wall that might be sat on by an egg would have been rigorously tested for its stability and a non-slip surface would undoubtedly have been fitted ---no egg in his right mind would have sat on that wall unless he knew for sure that the proper procedures had been followed to the letter and it was completely safe to do so----ask yourself this question---how many times have you heard the phrase " i could murder a boiled egg" ---what about a motive? i hear you ask---my theory is that whoever pushed humpty dumpty on that tragic day done so in the full knowledge that the chances of a broken egg being fixed by horses and knights in full armour was extemely slight, if not impossible---the motive behind this evil act was in fact just to see the kings horses and men trying to fix a broken egg---this would undoubtedly have been hilarious to witness---horses and men with chainmail gloves trying to fix an egg!!--hahahaha--i can almost hear the evil little laugh of this sadistic and callous killer --i expect he peed himself laughing!---so thats your motive!-- an evil little damien like child murdered this poor unsuspecting egg for the sheer fun of it--he knew that no vets, doctors or master-craftsmen were in the vicinity and this despicable act was perpetrated purley for its entertainment value------ there---now you know---disgusting isnt it?
Posted by oynutter

Hey m8 love the egg story, lol

NoseyBonk

Eggcellent (groan)

annie_duke

Eggsactly right, well said

Huck_Nall

Its funny you should raise this oynutter as I thought it was just me.
As a child, I vividly remember debating this very point for hours with my parents.

It one of those key points in life such as...... how come during a depression or anytime in fact.............a pub, cafe, butchers, 2 corner shops and a takeaway all make a living from 12 houses in Coronation Street?

RickyVilla

I think he's eggxagerating

oynutter

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

I think he's eggxagerating
Posted by RickyVilla

   you are entitled to your opinion rickyvilla but i can personally assure you that humpty dumpty was not just any stupid egg from a battery farm----he was an internationally renowned philantropist that was highly accomplished and respected--nay--ICONIC---in his field---why do you think the most intelligent people on the planet are now known as eggheads--answer me that??---i may have slightly embellished how strict the health and saftey regulations were in those days, but this cannot distract from the fact, that humpty dumpty was definately NOT stupid enough to simply fall--you however can believe what you like----thank you sky for this ignore rickyvilla button

RickyVilla

Go out and get more eggercise imo

oynutter

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

Its funny you should raise this oynutter as I thought it was just me. As a child, I vividly remember debating this very point for hours with my parents. It one of those key points in life such as...... how come during a depression or anytime in fact.............a pub, cafe, butchers, 2 corner shops and a takeaway all make a living from 12 houses in Coronation Street?
Posted by Huck_Nall

  dear hucknall-- i cannot fault your parents for trying to persuade you that this was simply an accident--most peoples parents did exactly the same thing--they were merely trying to protect you---you were too young to know the full horror of this tragic event in history--- dont be hard on them hucknall---when we are young and innocent it is in our own interest to remain that way for as long as possible---so you see now----they love you and were simply prolonging your beautiful state of innocent bliss --- you could have grown up extremely cynical and bitter had they not done this--so be very grateful and thank them---good luck in the rest of your life my good man

NoseyBonk

It is said that some pictures reveal a shadey character of a man behind that wall, and that it looks spookily similar to Rupert Murdoch! IT'S WHERE IT ALL STARTED I'M TELLIN YA!

RickyVilla

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

Its funny you should raise this oynutter as I thought it was just me. As a child, I vividly remember debating this very point for hours with my parents. It one of those key points in life such as...... how come during a depression or anytime in fact.............a pub, cafe, butchers, 2 corner shops and a takeaway all make a living from 12 houses in Coronation Street?
Posted by Huck_Nall

Yep couldn't agree more.

Despite the economic downturn that cafe in eastenders is fuller than the fat duck.

oynutter

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

It is said that some pictures reveal a shadey character of a man behind that wall, and that it looks spookily similar to Rupert Murdoch! IT'S WHERE IT ALL STARTED I'M TELLIN YA!
Posted by NoseyBonk

  dear noseybonk--there has been years of speculation amongst members of the various law enforcement agencies that have existed since this abhorrent event-- thousands upon thousands of malicious looking suspects have been eliminated from thier enquiries--there is absolutely no doubt that decendants of rupert murdoch were among these --but as yet, no solid evidence has been discovered--- i do however suspect that the official secrets act may be responsible for this fact

oynutter

PHEW--THAT WAS CLOSE--this thread nearly got pushed off the front page by silly threads about sky poker being fixed!!
WE ALL KNOW THAT SKY POKER IS DEFINITELY NOT FIXED--and indeed neither is humpty dumpty--although one day i will manage to create a laser guided microscopic super glue gun that can be operated by any military trained horse ---so that this kind of national disaster can never happen again--i have a technical team working on the project as we speak--although ---APPARENTLY--they have been side-tracked by a request from sky to help them create a much needed download version of this site--get your priorities right lads for flops sake

Ozzie08

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

PHEW--THAT WAS CLOSE--this thread nearly got pushed off the front page by silly threads about sky poker being fixed!! WE ALL KNOW THAT SKY POKER IS DEFINITELY NOT FIXED--and indeed neither is humpty dumpty--although one day i will manage to create a laser guided microscopic super glue gun that can be operated by any military trained horse ---so that this kind of national disaster can never happen again--i have a technical team working on the project as we speak--although ---APPARENTLY--they have been side-tracked by a request from sky to help them create a much needed download version of this site--get your priorities right lads for flops sake
Posted by oynutter

Lol, u and yr download version m8

unknown_username

EGGACTLY,,gr8 read m8

tiggerace7

Hi Rik

I want to know Why we would suppose little Bo Peep who lost her sheep, was then surprised that she did not know where to find them. Leave then alone...........well frankly she had no choice.............they will come home............there is always hope. Wagging their tale's......hope they are not Tikays.....behind them.....well we would hope it was not in front of them.....cos then they would also need medical attention.

Love Ya PamXXXX

Timbobo

When Mary had a little lamb why did her Father shoot the shepherd?

oynutter

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

Hi Rik I want to know Why we would suppose little Bo Peep who lost her sheep, was then surprised that she did not know where to find them. Leave then alone...........well frankly she had no choice.............they will come home............there is always hope. Wagging their tale's......hope they are not Tikays.....behind them.....well we would hope it was not in front of them.....cos then they would also need medical attention. Love Ya PamXXXX
Posted by tiggerace7

  hi pam--its actually very difficult to know exactly what goes on up there in the welsh hills---all i do know is that bo peep had looked in the place she usually finds them (down in the corner of the field by the pub)--and they were'nt there?----this surprised her because they were  always there--every night---around 11,30---as for thier wagging tails--well thats anybody guess---i wouldnt like to speculate---not on this forum

inka2003

A little piece of advice to all contributors to this thread ......

"GET SOME HELP !!!!!!!"

oynutter

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

A little piece of advice to all contributors to this thread ...... "GET SOME HELP !!!!!!!"
Posted by inka2003

  dont worry yourself my dear---help is just around the corner---we however, have chosen to stay on the straight and narrow

inka2003

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed :   dont worry yourself my dear---help is just around ths corner---we however, have chosen to stay on the straight and narrow
Posted by oynutter

Hmmmmmm ..... "Nurse !"

tiggerace7

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed :   hi pam--its actually very difficult to know exactly what goes on up there in the welsh hills---all i do know is that bo peep had looked in the place she usually finds them (down in the corner of the field by the pub)--and they were'nt there?----this surprised her because they were  always there--every night---around 11,30---as for thier wagging tails--well thats anybody guess---i wouldnt like to speculate---not on this forum
Posted by oynutter

  and there i was thinking you would come up with some homing device.........might have known it would be the pub.....no doubt stew on the menu

Pam xx

oynutter

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed :   and there i was thinking you would come up with some homing device.........might have known it would be the pub.....no doubt stew on the menu Pam xx
Posted by tiggerace7

hi pam--i did consider the question of bo peep using a gps tracking system to prevent any future problems with her sheep--- in fact i even requested a quote for the type used for uncontrolable children--unfortunately they tried to fleece me!--- (see trackmykids.com)-- thier ridiculous price was masked behind a myriad of technological gobbledegook--i mean do i sound like the type of person that could easily have the wool pulled over his eyes--
there is only one word for them---crooks! ----how they have the sauce to charge a mint for them is quite beyond me!
  still---after i gave them a roasting with my pen, and threatened court action (they wouldnt have a leg to stand on), they did agree to chop 20% off thier old stock---even then, shepherds wont flock to buy them---ram them all on a rack and let them stew i say--anyway---enough of my bleeting----must be off---shear pleasure to hear from you---oynutter

Ozzie08

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed : hi pam--i did consider the question of bo peep using a gps tracking system to prevent any future problems with her sheep--- in fact i even requested a quote for the type used for uncontrolable children--unfortunately they tried to fleece me!--- (see trackmykids.com)-- thier ridiculous price was masked behind a myriad of technological gobbledegook--i mean do i sound like the type of person that could easily have the wool pulled over his eyes-- there is only one word for them---crooks! ----how they have the sauce to charge a mint for them is quite beyond me!   still---after i gave them a roasting with my pen, and threatened court action (they wouldnt have a leg to stand on), they did agree to chop 20% off thier old stock---even then, shepherds wont flock to buy them---ram them all on a rack and let them stew i say--anyway---enough of my bleeting----must be off---shear pleasure to hear from you---oynutter
Posted by oynutter

I do believe you are a legend nutter, keep em comin

tiggerace7

I totally agree with Ozzie....a legend...but don't try to pull the wool over my eyes.

I just love this thread.....if only we could bottle laughter we could make a fortune....til then there is poker!!!!

Childhood poetry......the cow that  jumped over the moon was probably table launched...lets just live in hope that it did not freeze on the way to the moon in the way our screens do, giving the techie's a further unsolvable problem. On this one I am absolutely sure now that both the dish and the spoon ran all the way home to oy's stew....this was all achieved without the use of sat nav or any other device.....

Pamxx

oynutter

FANTASTIC NEWS  for all humpty dumpty followers(and other interested parties) -- we at the humpty dumpty institute of technology (in conjunction with our manufacturers in japan) are pleased and extremely proud to announce that---after six months of exhaustive tests and field trials---- a prototype has finally been finished and prepared for launch, of a brand spanking new---yes , you've guessed it---unbreakable humpty dumpty--manufactured by injection moulding-- from a top secret mixture consisting mainly of finely ground tungsten-carbide, industrial diamonds and re-cycled space shuttle tyres.---- this humpty dumpty will be availiable in 16 colours-- in 127 countries,and is set to storm the childrens super-hero market on a scale not witnessed since action man---unlike action man, this humpty dumpty cannot and will not be broken! (at least not by falling off a wall)--- this humpty dumpty has already been pushed off the dubai tower! (tallest building in the world) suffering only minor scratches and an (easily replaceable) broken leg--it has also been crash tested by volvo (without air-bags) at a speed of 165km/hour, and accidently shot at close range by a 12- bore sawn-off shotgun!---its amazing what some people will do to get hold of industrial secrets!!!---it has also been strapped to an inter-continental ballistic missile--although this test has (so far) proved inconclusive as humpty dumpty was in fact, lost-- -- the union of kings horses and men (U.K.H.M) has objected to the patent application, although, considering thier dismal performance the last time humpty got broken, this should not prove too much of an obstacle for our legal department----the only other possible stumbling block is health and saftey regulations---but since we aim to prove that this humpty dumpty cannot and will not be broken---the highly toxic nature of our manufacturing matierials should not become an issue---so---fingers crossed all around the globe-- this marvell of modern technology should be falling off the shelves by christmas!!!

tiggerace7

Hi

Well that is really good news.

I am sure the followers of this tale will now sleep easier.

I for one cannot stand the Christmas rush so is it possible to pre-order.

Luv Pamxx

unknown_username

My goodness all you conspiracy theorists really have a problem. You probably believe that incy-wincy spider was coerced into going up that spout, that the three blind mice didn't deserve to have their tails chopped off, that the ring-a-ring-a-roses gang all had hay fever, and the all time classic ....... that the timorous horologist was taken by aliens.

Go get your bacofoil hats and take your medication all you conspiracy theorists.

( Bet you quietly recited at least 2 nursery rhymes there


Finally you need to have an ability to do simple mental arithmatic to play poker so all conspiracy theorists should try this:

This must be done in your head only .

Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.

Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 Now add 10 . What

is the total?

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! If you got it wrong give up the poker

Timbobo

---so---fingers crossed all around the globe-- this marvell of modern technology should be falling off the shelves by christmas!!!
Posted by oynutter

Any chance a few might fall off the back of the Lorry? I'm broke, (Like the original).
Tim

oynutter

In Response to Re: humpty dumpty was pushed:

---so---fingers crossed all around the globe-- this marvell of modern technology should be falling off the shelves by christmas!!! Posted by oynutter

Any chance a few might fall off the back of the Lorry? I'm broke, (Like the original). Tim
Posted by Timbobo
  hi timbobo---sorry to hear about your present financial status---regretfully our new unbreakable humpty dumpty will not be travelling by lorry---securicor express have (so far) provided us with the best quote for delivery of this very expensive limited edition---however--if any humpty dumpty's  happen to get shop-soiled or damaged in transit, you will be the first to know---hope your financial status improves soon---yours sincerely---frank dumpty----head of sales and marketing