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before i continue i would like to make it very clear that am in no way a racist, nor am i a nationalist
The language barrier is a total nightmare!!-----erno spent hundreds of finnish currency markka dubrees trying to learn english---he is a genius for flops sake---so why (after three years of lessons) can he not understand one floppin sentence??!!-- these so called teachers should all be imprisoned for fraud!!!--THATS FLUPPIN WHY!!---They travel around the planet pretending to be able to teach someone the english language, and only teach them a few thousand completely un-connected words!!---then charge them a floppin fortune, when they hav'nt even learned enough of the language to buy a flappin train ticket!!--never mind hold a conversation with a technical team!
here's where the fun starts---for selfish and my own malicious reasons, we do not want humpty to be able to be fixed by any member of the union of kings horses and men---this meant we had to explain to rubik that we want a humpty that can be fixed by a small child, but not by a horse or a person wearing chain-mail gloves-----"vot iz zis, a chain-mail gloves" he said--quite a simple question---"zis iz glove for zee puttings of the hand yaa"?---"thats right" i said----"you are sending zis glove by a mail to a lots of friends yaaa?"-----"no rubik" i said----"this glove is made of chain-mail--its to stop people being stabbed in a fight"-----"if you are not sending zis glove zen you vill get a stabbed in a fight? zis is a very bad development" he said---"zis vos not saying in zee contract"
"no rubik" i said ", this glove is not sent to anybody, it is made of a matierial called chain-mail--this matierial is made of small metal links that stop people getting stabbed by a knife or a sword"----"vie iz zis lot of fighting--zis iz a toy yaa---i not vanting zis fighting peoples-- i am vanting now to go home"---"look erno" i said, wait there, i will fetch the translator"---i came back 5 minutes later--he was flappin gone!!!
we eventually found him at charring cross station trying to buy a ticket to heathrow airport!---luckily the guy in the office thought he was so funny, he kept him talking till he had missed the next train----the translator managed to calm him down---had to promise on her mothers life that no-one had a sword and there would be no fighting or men with a knife----jjjeeeezzzzzuuuusss
well--as if that wasnt mad enough--we did have a laugh though---a friend of mine in maintainence (jim) heard about all the kerfuffle and decided to invite erno down to the pub for the evening---help to calm him down a bit ----"i am vanting to stay at zis room" said erno--"cor blimey mate, you avin a larf?--we're all mates ere you know--come on mate, have a bit of fun" said jim---" i am mating viss my wife only" said erno---"you english and french peoples are not being zee same as vee in finland,
you all do think mating is fun time that you do vizz everybodies--we in finland are thinking ziss is full of some shame and is zee wrong thing to having fun--you can mate viss all peoples, but for me am very happy vizz wife only---i am vanting not a cor blimey and am vanting zat i stay in zis room---well---jim just cracked up laughing---not his fault--anyone would---but erno thought jim was laughing at his high moral position ---he was so upset when he came to complain about him that he asked to be released from his contract and offered me 120 thousand pounds to let him go home!!??---he did see the funny side when the translator arrived----"aagghh-- a friend zat is my buddy, hahaha, i vos thinking he vants to be taking me to meeting a voman zat vill vant a pay to be have love time, hahaha----but vot zen iz it a cor blimey?"
anyway-----mad day again--we will have some news soon---more tomorrow--bye for now ----humpers----lol
Just read in the paper that the nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty has been changed to:
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the King's Horses and all the King's men
Made Humpty Dumpty happy again.
So you see the collapse of my unbreakable Humpty empire wasn't my fault, there's just no market any more. Mr Nutter will be smiling at this news, but not for long as the saga of the inflatable Miss Piggy is yet to break......watch this space for breaking news on a story that's bound to blow up.
But the egg was asking for it.
FACT.
As for MR OYNUTTER....I don't know him, I've never met him and I've not seen him before in my life.. EVER.
...and as soon as he gives me my half of the loot I'm gonna scramble innit.
Oh.. and what's all this about BEARs? Has that HARLOT Goldilocks been shouting her mouth off again?
However, Ovum eggstermination and Muppet manipulation are serious cases which require further investigation in the light of the new evidence in our possession.
Just because some people get confused. and all this talk of Ovum and ..Hey did you know that fruit is a plants ovary's ..I have nothting to do with the Muppet by the way, Not goldilocks obviously,..she's not the smartest but certainly not a muppet. Does Goldilocks being part of the fraternity as opposed to a sorority mean she's really a man? The wig was always a pointer..as well as the five o'clock shadow... and the disturbingly husky voice.. Just took ner for a smoker.
Besides have you ever seen Miss Piggy and Goldilocks together in the same room?
I thought not.
And therein lies my point.
I thank you.
Sarah..I mean Lisa-Marie.
Fraternity relating to males only is a college or university term meaning as you say a male membership or union. However the more common term fraternity refers to a group of people (male and/or female) joined by similar interests, backgrounds, aims, occupations etc. Therefore your vitriolic attack against poor Goldilocks is unfair. Could there be a tinge of jealousy creeping in Sarah? Green is not your best colour Sarah.
Nutter Oy
Nutter Oy
Nutter Nutter Nutter Oy Oy Oy
Can't slip off the front page
Tim
Nice theory!
Made me feel like i was on an episode of the bill haha
We apologise for the inconvenience
Tim
for all does that have not eggperienced this classic thread .
bump ! ! !
I am sorry that I hav'nt found it inside myself to post here for so long.
The truth is I've had a really hard time since the humpty project bankrupted me. I thought the bank manager was also my friend, so I really got the hump when he dumped me.
How do you tell your friends, how do you hold your head up in the pub?
As you probably know, they tried to make me go to re-hab, but I managed to stay insane by calling on my friends in the forum here, so a big thanks is due to sky bernie and the technical team for keeping me from sanity, I am also very grateful to Irishrover and sky Rich for showing me that there is another way forward, and that mental stability is not the only way to live your life----thanks guys
Humpty dumpty was my whole life, I simply could'nt see anything else, it was like a massive wall.
It was in fact a song by Pink Floyd that helped me, amazing coincidence actually, because I only own one cd, its a compilation album from k-tel and its called " The best of music"---so a big thanks to Pink and the lads for helping me "tear down the wall".
Finally for now, another thank you must go to bennydip2 for showing me that having the hump can be fun, and to webby, for showing me that you only really have to please one of the people, one of the time, and it dosn't really matter if it's you.---cheers lads!!!
OYNUTTER WILL BE BACK !!!
The cow probably thinks she's jumped over the moon, but if you spent as much time on grass as the cow has you'd probably think you could jump that far too.
The only witnesses appear to be a cat who was fiddling at the time, so can't be regarded as trustworthy, and a little dog who was laughing so hard he was probably on the same substances as the cow.
Until there's independant verification from Alderney this tale has to be treated as hearsay.
You guys should have your own show or be writing books!
Before you start worrying about my motives, I shall declare them right now, it's quite simple really.
There is nothing on this whole planet I hate more than the U.K.H.M (Union of kings horses and men), they ruined me Elsadog, and one day they will pay!!---- Thing is, a friend of mine from the legal department of the (now bankrupt) Humpty Dumpty institute of technology actually had someone infiltrate the U.K.H.M and still has a bug planted in their boardroom. He has informed me that the union is aware of your intentions and are planning to threaten the Queen with strike action if something is not done to stop your venture.
As you are probably aware Elsadog, the Kennel club of Great Britain is patronised by her majesty, and they have some VERY BIG DOGS on their books. The U.K.H.M are planning to ask her majesty the Queen to give them temporary control of the kennel club, which they will then use against you and your doggie friends Elsadog.
As I am the only person you know with access to everything that is said in the boardroom of the U.K.H.M, I think it is a good idea for you to have me on your side Elsadog. I want no financial reward for forthcoming information Elsadog, and you have no worries about where my loyalty lies, I simply HATE the union of kings horses and men!!!
So, my canine friend, Thatcher did it to the miners, and together, we can do it to the kings horses and men!
If the union get control of the kennel club Elsadog, there could be a nationwide WAR between pedigree dogs and dogs like yourself, you may well win this war Elsadog, but the cost will be massive!
The only thing I ask of you and your doggie friends is that you are available to help me tear this union to pieces------ Are you in?