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AL's BAR

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  • SighKOSighKO
    edited February 2014
    Struggling big time here pal, just crawled from about 1/2 mile down the road.... no kidding. Got in the Taxi ..... said ALs Bar and about 1/2 mile away the driver said "You'll need to walk the rest of the way, this is as far as I go"..... Presume he must have been low on fuel or sommit.
    Anyway, who's serving here?  This is real spooky...... Although I've never set foot in this place it seems strangely familiar......
    What? A talking dog..... Can't be....." Yeah".... "My usual please"..... This should be interesting.
    ................................................................................................................................
    Small dog serves me 
    2X Cold Guiness1x bottle of Rioja2x large Courvoisier's
    Deja vu......no   can't be.....wierd....
    Wow... how does he know what  I drink?
    "hey lil dog, that's awesome......glug......glug....slurp....slurp..... I only know four dogs that can talk, Pluto, Scooby, Brian and you...... but Pluto and Scooby don't count as they are cartoon characters"
    "So who runs this joint then fella?"
    "Oh I see...... You are under new management and the manageress has gone to the cash and carry, and your old man is at the cheese and wine fair again"
    "Bit quiet in here today innit?, looks like somebody has stolen all your wallpaper as well"
    "What do you mean all the actions out the back?...... It's ok, trust me I won't breath a word to anyone"
    "So I go through that door marked private...... and through the blue curtain.... and the security code is *###*** (see told ya I wouldn't tell anybody else the code)"
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Returns 2 minutes later....
    "Hitpup...Why does it say Welcome To Sun City in big letters on the last door and Whatever happens in Sun City stays in Sun City and in small letters underneath Ensure you have plenty of suntan lotion at all times ?"
    " Ah.. ok ...all will be revealed, But I have to tell you word for word exactly what goes on when I return....ok..... see ya later then".....................
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited February 2014


    If you do decide to go through the BLUE door......make sure you have rubber gloves, shades and a shoe horn on you.

    You will also have to sign the official secrets act before returning to the Bar.
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  • SighKOSighKO
    edited February 2014



    "Excuse me, have you seen hitpup?"

    "Ok I'll take a seat here and he'll be over in a minute"

    "Hit pup, that is the most amazing hour or so I have ever had, how can that be possible? It must be 40 degrees out there at least! The swimming pool even has a wave machine in it"

    "Yeah.. yeah I put the shades and the shoehorn back in the cabinet, I didn't need the rubber gloves, I did sign the OSA before I came back through the blue curtain. But to be honest there was no need to because I have this medical condition you see, it's called Hissedasahartus and basically once I've consumed too much alcohol I suffer from acute memory loss, most people can remember some events from the night before but in my case I remember nothing........ what do you mean you already know that?"  hmmm..... 

    " No you've lost me there mate, I understand about the micro climate, and the tidal pull and the magnetic fields, but I can't see how the sun in the West Indies can be propelled via a converse reflection which then deflects certain rays off of 2 satellites, and beams completley undetected into your courtyard....and at the same time the heat.... no don't get it, sorry"

    "So the three young ladies called me over and asked if I wouldn't mind rubbing sun cream on their backs..... The first young lady was called Cheryl... I think she has aspirations of becoming a politician, because she said on more than one occasion that her ex partner.... worked at the bridge, played in blue but wanted to become more of a left winger" ............ "The second one was called Liv, she seemed very clever, but I think she has hidden depths and might actually be a hired assassin, all she said was I took down Sam Remo single handed.
    ...... the last girl really was a stunner, goes by the name of RR.... she sells perfume called countdown I think, cos all she said was I am employed by Chanel no 4 and I work on Countdown"

    "Of course I'm telling you everything....... well apart from the fact that we laughed and joked for an hour, drunk copious amounts of alcohol..... and then the girls went for a swim, dried themselves off and believe it or not trod on all the glasses, smashing them to pieces in order to save washing them up"

    ......."I'm not telling porkie pies hitpup honestly, why would I lie to you?"..

    "So let me get this right If I can prove the bit about the glasses, you'll sign the Official secrets act and never mention my carpet to anybody........How do you know about my carpet anyway?"

    "Okay deal..... stick a few brandies in there for me and I'll get the evidence..........."

    Slurp....slurp.......slurp....

    "You see me old fellow, loook at mi phone, cos I filmed it especially for you...hic...hic... they put wigs on so as not to be recognised, and then we went back through the blue curtain"..... slurp.....slurp


    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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  • topdrawertopdrawer
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    Can i have a zambuca followed by 15 more ?
    Posted by topdrawer
    dont bother then nice welcoming bar...pmsl
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  • HITMAN_RVHITMAN_RV
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR : dont bother then nice welcoming bar...pmsl
    Posted by topdrawer
    OI LOL !! I got you 15 more, and a pillow when you fell asleep !!

    Next thing you walked off sleepwalking with that SighKo Geezer !

    now he's coming back in with Madder than Mad stories and you say u never remember havin a drink !!!

    WHAT A KRRAZY LIL' BAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • topdrawertopdrawer
    edited February 2014
    I remember getting a taxi at 4.43am, but it took me 20 miles from my flat. Im sure you ordered it 4 me do u have his number as he left me near the beach in souffend, good night though.
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    I remember getting a taxi at 4.43am, but it took me 20 miles from my flat. Im sure you ordered it 4 me do u have his number as he left me near the beach in souffend, good night though.
    Posted by topdrawer
    The taxi firm we use are called Orfords Onetime Outings.

    You are lucky he turned up TBH....and he was actually in a car!
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  • SighKOSighKO
    edited February 2014


    Oi it's not easy being mad you know..... I had an hour to kill this pm... I was in stiches when i was writing it (well it made perfect sense to me) lol... even had the next installment in me mind......


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  • HITMAN_RVHITMAN_RV
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    Oi it's not easy being mad you know..... I had an hour to kill this pm... I was in stiches when i was writing it (well it made perfect sense to me) lol... even had the next installment in me mind......
    Posted by SighKO
    Can't wait for installment 2 !!!!!

    Nor can HitPup, " Woof, Woof"
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  • logdonlogdon
    edited February 2014
     Pumps are dry again this warm sunny weather is making everyone thirsty.  The Pink fluffy wallpaper has arrived needs hanging in the Snug Bar. I've got just the place for my Peter Andre picture and the new Nets and Curtains will match the Pink cushions and leather on the Bar stools.  Mmmmm starting to look a bit Girlie in here all it needed was a Woman's touch. ? 
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
     Pumps are dry again this warm sunny weather is making everyone thirsty.  The Pink fluffy wallpaper has arrived needs hanging in the Snug Bar. I've got just the place for my Peter Andre picture and the new Nets and Curtains will match the Pink cushions and leather on the Bar stools.  Mmmmm starting to look a bit Girlie in here all it needed was a Woman's touch. ? 
    Posted by logdon

    Cheers Annie....that 'women's only' room is coming on a treat and should be ready for Saturday when us blokes need the Main Bar area to watch the FA Cup Final. As I special personnel thank you from me, I will purchase a new DVD player for that room together with the last complete series of Loose Women to keep you all entertained on the day. I will also scatter some shoe catalogues around together with any of the current 'lets look at what the famous are wearing/doing' magazines.

    Your welcome xx
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  • topdrawertopdrawer
    edited February 2014

                                         Will you show WIGAN V WEST HAM on your moody tv?

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  • topdrawertopdrawer
    edited February 2014

    If so me and 18.000 HAMMERS fans will be in.................

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  • DarntootinDarntootin
    edited February 2014
    Champagne for everyone please Max!

    And make it Cristal, not that Spewmanti muck you usually try to pass off.
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  • HITMAN_RVHITMAN_RV
    edited February 2014
    GL with your Mini-Me tourney to-night Max!!

    Hope it goes well, I should be back in time to play !!

    The way Stokes luck is goin, I wanna back The RugbyPoker Player to win it, Doubled with the Rugby Team FTW FA CUP, LOLOL , GL !!
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  • SighKOSighKO
    edited February 2014


    Just a flying visit to say well done AL on the mini me concept, me likes it. Will see how the land lies tonight but should be there. Big thumbs up


    See ya'll later


    I'm sure this place looks familiar

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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    Just a flying visit to say well done AL on the mini me concept, me likes it. Will see how the land lies tonight but should be there. Big thumbs up See ya'll later I'm sure this place looks familiar
    Posted by SighKO

    Cheers mate! if you play, GL!

    I am installing 25 pc's in the Bar next week for anybody getting ear ache at home for playing too much poker! Just say to the other half you are nipping out for a pint/taking the hound for a walk.....come in and take a pew. Drinks will be brought to you and the house will only take 5% of any winnings.

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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    Champagne for everyone please Max! And make it Cristal, not that Spewmanti muck you usually try to pass off.
    Posted by Darntootin

    Well done last night Darn!





    (translation = bloody luckbox, piffft)
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  • HITMAN_RVHITMAN_RV
    edited February 2014
    CHEERS DARN !!

    What did ya win ??
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  • spornybolspornybol
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    CHEERS DARN !! What did ya win ??
    Posted by HITMAN_RV
    he won the dtd, and i`ll let you off entering me in the primo as i got the fulham 1 liverpool 5 wrong lol
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    CHEERS DARN !! What did ya win ??
    Posted by HITMAN_RV

    He luck boxed his way to 1st in the Monday night's DTD comp. :)

    BTW, you lot did well to keep it down to just 5 last night :))
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited February 2014
    Pears cider with loads of ice please barman, oh and 20 b&h
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  • HITMAN_RVHITMAN_RV
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR : he won the dtd, and i`ll let you off entering me in the primo as i got the fulham 1 liverpool 5 wrong lol
    Posted by spornybol

    LOL How funny was that, Please read mi post "SUAREZ" in football corner, where u got a complmentary mention LOL!!
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    Pears cider with loads of ice please barman, oh and 20 b&h
    Posted by Neildown

    With pleasure Sir.

    You do know its 'no smoking' in the womens only room though don't you? :))
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  • unknown_usernameunknown_username
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR : With pleasure Sir. You do know its 'no smoking' in the womens only room though don't you? :))
    Posted by MAXALLY
    Suits me fine

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  • TRIP5TRIP5
    edited February 2014
    Womens room?? WOMENS ROOM?????

    It's a fluppin pub ffs...who the flop put fluffin pink cosy's in da house....you want a womens room then peeeeshhhhh off to the boutique!! This is a pub, it should only contain spit, sawdust, beer, pokerz and football....Pffffft...

    I'll have a bottle of red pls ;o)

    xx
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  • HITMAN_RVHITMAN_RV
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    Womens room?? WOMENS ROOM????? It's a fluppin pub ffs...who the flop put fluffin pink cosy's in da house....you want a womens room then peeeeshhhhh off to the boutique!! This is a pub, it should only contain spit, sawdust, beer, pokerz and football....Pffffft... I'll have a bottle of red pls ;o) xx
    Posted by TRIP5
    YEAH YEAH !!!

    Congrats on the success of your Mini Me tourney idea Max!!

    505 runners Brilliant!! Managed bout 120th after mi mate sic swans felted me to 40 chips after 5 HANDS!! LOL

    saw u got to bout 100th N1!!  Also had a go at the sky rollers semi & YIPPEEE, got inspired to qualify,
    so the 'Als Bar' shirt will be on again for the thurs final !!

    1267209651Entry to £5,000 Sky Roller
    HITMAN_RV70352Entry to £5,000 Sky Roller
    Uzi_lover03£88
    OnlyOneCT04 
    beaneh05 
    FINS06 
    Direwolf07 
    pod108 
    venomgg09 
    gadge69010 
    YOUNG_GUN011 
    cottlad012 
    STACKOUT013 
    made4game014
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR : YEAH YEAH !!! Congrats on the success of your Mini Me tourney idea Max!! 505 runners Brilliant!! Managed bout 120th after mi mate sic swans felted me to 40 chips after 5 HANDS!! LOL saw u got to bout 100th N1!!  Also had a go at the sky rollers semi & YIPPEEE, got inspired to qualify, so the 'Als Bar' shirt will be on again for the thurs final !! 1267 20965 1 Entry to £5,000 Sky Roller HITMAN_RV 7035 2 Entry to £5,000 Sky Roller Uzi_lover 0 3 £88 OnlyOneCT 0 4   beaneh 0 5   FINS 0 6   Direwolf 0 7   pod1 0 8   venomgg 0 9   gadge69 0 10   YOUNG_GUN 0 11   cottlad 0 12   STACKOUT 0 13   made4game 0 14
    Posted by HITMAN_RV

    Nice result Hitman in that sky rollers donkey derby! :) Now go and earn some beer tokens in the final for use on Saturday where I hope you will unite (in a footballing way) with us potters and support the mighty reds in their biggest game in many a year against moneychester city!!!

    I had a night mare last night TBH. Really really bad tinternet connections, then I was bubble boy in the TOT!! I was d/c in the Mini and just got back on to shove with about 3BB's left to walk into aces! FML :(

    I will need to get some logo's sorted out to wear at DTD in September! :))
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    Womens room?? WOMENS ROOM????? It's a fluppin pub ffs...who the flop put fluffin pink cosy's in da house....you want a womens room then peeeeshhhhh off to the boutique!! This is a pub, it should only contain spit, sawdust, beer, pokerz and football....Pffffft... I'll have a bottle of red pls ;o) xx
    Posted by TRIP5

    '' CALM DOWN DEAR ''

    :)))      XXXX
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  • harding10harding10
    edited February 2014
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR:
    In Response to Re: AL's BAR : Nice result Hitman in that sky rollers donkey derby! :) Now go and earn some beer tokens in the final for use on Saturday where I hope you will unite (in a footballing way) with us potters and support the mighty reds in their biggest game in many a year against moneychester city!!! I had a night mare last night TBH. Really really bad tinternet connections, then I was bubble boy in the TOT!! I was d/c in the Mini and just got back on to shove with about 3BB's left to walk into aces! FML :( I will need to get some logo's sorted out to wear at DTD in September! :))
    Posted by MAXALLY
    Will I be allowed in wearing a sky blue shirt on Saturday???

    (bearing in mind City's win last night means Stoke are in Europe next season regardless of Saturday)
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