Joke of the day!

mickgil75

I went to the pub last nite,

and there was this fat girl dancing on the table.

I walked past and said,amazing legs.The girl giggled and said,

do u really think so.Yeah i said..most tables would,ve collasped by now. lol

PHEEBS116

The football association have now instructed all referees to book any player who passes the ball to andy carroll for time wasting

shann

beat flush wen player should non bin hand give full house just gone out 2pair player played hand joke must all be new players wat a jpke sky poker is played 4 weeks bad beat bad beat sites a joke

shann

sky joke of the day hands lololololololoolloollloolllloooolll wat ajoke time u were closed

SAV4BP

Woke up in the middle of the night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor at my bedside. First i was afraid....then i was petrified.

Glenelg

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway outside London, nothing is moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the car window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the members of parliament and they're asking for a £100 million ransom otherwise, they are going to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire. We are going from car to car collecting donations."

"How much is everyone giving on average?" the driver asks.

"Roughly a gallon."

mickgil75

               Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one

               but afta looking through her knicker draw and finding

                a nurses outfit,a french maids out fit and a police womans uniform,he finally decided,

                  If she cant hold down a fecking job, she,s not for him...

SAV4BP

If i see a fire exit i have to go and stand next to it. I suffer from premature evacuation.

CULTIE

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."