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Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmallow?
A: So he wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini?A: Four: Two in the front, two in the back.Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini?A: None. It's full of elephants.Q: How do you get two whales in a Mini?A: Along the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator?A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator?A: You can't close the door.Q: How do you know there are four elephants in your refrigerator?A: There's an empty Mini parked outside.
Gareth
This one is deffo my fav! hehehehe!
An elephant goes into a bar and orders a pint of lager. The landlord thinks he is a elephant he wont know the price of lager so charges him 5 pounds. The elephant drinks is pint then starts to leave. The landlord stops him and says we dont get many elephants in here! The elephant replys Im not surprised at these prices!
So, they can hide up in Cherry Trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a Cherry tree?
No. (So it works obviously )
Q: What is gray, has four legs, and a trunk?
A: A mouse going on vacation.
Q: What is brown, has four legs, and a trunk?
A: A mouse coming back from vacation.
Q: What has eight legs, two trunks, four eyes, and two tails?
A: Two elephants!
Theres a big E on his pyjama Jacket
Slobadon Meekokyabitch.
Seymour.
HAVE I MISSED THE NOTICE ?,OR WASN`T THERE A NOTICE FOR ME TO NOT NOTICE IN THE 1ST PLACE ?.
I`M VERY CONFUSED NOW AND NOTICED THAT I NEED A LONG LIE DOWN IN A VERY DARK UN-NOTICEABLE ROOM.
DO NOT READ THIS
The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today. The dog put his paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, "How many pounds?" The dog barked twice, so the butcher made a package of two pounds of ground beef.
He then said, "Anything else?" The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, "How many?" The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up a package of four pork chops.
The dog then walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse. The butcher took out the appropriate amount of money and tied the two packages of meat around the dog's neck.
The man who had been watching all this time, decided to follow the dog. It walked for several minutes and then trotted up to a house where it began to scratch the door to be let in.
As the owner appeared at the door, the man said to him, "That's a really smart dog you have there." The owner replied, "He's not all that smart. This is the second time this week he's forgotten his keys."