-
I've managed to annoy the Prime Minister David Cameron
Watching BBC Breakfast on TV yesterday while getting ready for work, they said our dear PM would be on the programme rabbiting about his so called 'Big Society' and if we had any questions for him just e-mail them in. OK I thought, I'll just do that. Lo and behold, 10 minutes later up he pops and the first question out was…
-
Mega Fun time Friday!
Hi Guys, Ok so the first 4 people to answer one of these riddles will win free entry into tonight's take on Tikay tournament (@8.30) I can only accept one correct answer per riddle - so be quick! and... NO GOOGLING! it just spoils the fun. I have a head like a cat. I have feet like at cat. But I am not a cat. What am I? If…
-
Anyone from here? Nominations please.
Was this a punishment for making a really bad call and going runner runner?…
-
Sky Poker Fantasy football!
Right, so August is almost upon us, and you all know what that means?.... Yep, that's right the start of the Premiership. and at this time of the year i like nothing more than spending hours and hours constructing the ultimate fantasy football team (cough...only joking boss!) So to Celebrate the start of what will…
-
spt
Hi guys anyone know if there is any spt tickets for sale anywhere like people that cant attend or want to sell. please get in touch
-
Is this OK
Someone owes me £50, can we go heads up and he just loses his £50 stack to me
-
sky fix the dish
I had a bit of an accident yesterday and took the dish clean-off the wall by mistake. Thank God it has been fixed now, so I can watch the "Club" and the Darts tonight.
-
Hey Man, Do you know him?
Have you all heard the story about the tourist that goes to America, and bumps into a yank, and the following conversation plays out :- American - hey man! we're ya all from? Tourist - London American - hey man! i know a guy from London. Tourist - Oh? American - Yeh man! his name his Tony Jones, do you know him? Like yeh,…
-
Women Advice
I have terrible fears of getting old and seeing the person i marry gone through old skin and wrinkles, I would just like to ask the forum if there are any tips in finding a women who holds their features through the test of time?
-
THIS IS A COMMUNITY POLL
hi all
-
Why worry!!!!
There are only two things to worry about Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, Then there is nothing to worry about. If you are sick, There are two things to worry about, Either you get well or you will die. If you get well, There is nothing to worry about. If you die, There are two things to worry about,…
-
Drunk poker - brilliant!!!!!
A man walked into a bar room one day. He walked up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks". The bartender said, "No problem sir, but I'll need to see some money first". The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on the bar. Well, the bartender can't believe what he's…
-
10 Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman
* 10. A Christmas tree doesn’t care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. * 09. Christmas trees don’t get mad if you use exotic electrical devices. * 08. A Christmas tree doesn’t care if you have an artificial one in the closet. * 07. A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you break one of its balls. * 06.…
-
SPEND YOUR CLUBS MONEY
Within the realms of possibility which players would you bring in to your football club for next season if you could and who would go ??? Here goes....And no DOHHHHHHH I wont get rid of Fergie lol. Would get rid of Berbatov, Foster, Gary Neville, Carrick. Brown, Hargreaves....love em but bye bye. Would buy Drogba (if he'd…
-
Actual writings on hospital charts - 19 is my favourite
I had to take a few out ;) 1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 5. She has no rigors or shaking…
-
POST YOUR FAVOURITE PICTURE OF A HORSE - (NON HORSE FANS NEED APPLY)
[IMG]http://www.fredhoare.com/USERIMAGES/Shergar%20colt%283%29.JPG[/IMG] I Tthink this is the most beautiful picture i've ever come across, also like this one. http://images.racingpost.com/2008/Oct/230-zarkava-467170.jpg THE EPITOMY OF CLASS
-
Drunk thief!
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a…
-
Shed Special - I should have already gone to bed.
Ok I'm bored.
-
Bill gates in h e l l
Bill Gates dies and goes to h e l l. S a tan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be…
-
WHY IS A CHRISTMAS TREE BETTER THAN A MAN
* A Christmas tree is always e rect. * Even small ones give satisfaction. * A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights. * A Christmas tree always looks good - even with the lights on. * A Christmas tree is always happy with its size. * A Christmas tree has cute balls. * A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad if you break…
-
do you want more jokes??
If you have liked the jokes so far and want more, i usually always have a few floating around on my phone. Let's just say these are not jokes that are politically correct and would never ever find there way on the forum!! if you would like me to send these out, just pm your mobile number and name and i will add you to my…
-
Redneck medical definitions and what they really mean!!!
Rednecks seem to have a slightly different view of medical term definitions than the rest of us, lets have a look at a few... Artery = The study of painting Bacteria = The back door of the cafeteria Barium = What doctors do when the patients die Caesarean Section = A neighborhood in Rome Cat Scan = Looking for Socks…
-
Policemen strike back with funny remarks
So when we get tickets and stuff from the police, we give it the " i am now a comedian " routine! well here are a few quips back from the boys in blue proving they too have a sense of humour!! "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on this ticket, huh?" "Can you run…
-
Redneck joke
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough(they could not afford a larger double wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy…
-
Anything To Make Marriage Work
Seems that, after all these years, the romance and love just wasn't what it used to be for John and Jane. In an attempt to salvage their thirty years of marriage, Jane convices her husband to see a marriage counciler with her. The counselor asks first asks Jane what she feels the problem is, and before he can even finish…
-
A couple of driving jokes;)
A man in his 40's bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him."There's no way they can catch a…
-
The policeman writing a parking ticket!!!
I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at…
-
A Man's Guide To Female English
We need to talk = I need to complain Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!…
-
Relationship rules!!
1. The female makes the rules. 2. The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification. 3. No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not permitted. 4. If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, she must immediately change some…
-
QUIZ! Guess the animal?
Just gave my dog a 'denti-stick' its supposed to keep their teeth nice, and in the ingredients (i know im a saddo, i always read ingredients) it says 'meat and animal derivitives' so can anyone have a guess at what part of what animal/animals this food is derived from? Sky Mod - I have had to delete a post from this thread…
